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11 June 2010 @ 06:16 pm
fic: a spotlight on these desolate dreams (part four.)  
[back to part three.]












Jared blinks and then lets out a groan as he burrows deeper into the scratchy hospital sheets. Sandy lets out a soft noise and pushes his hair back from his face.

“I called Jensen and told him that you were awake,” she tells him, and Jared opens his eyes to look at her. “He only went home to change so he’s pretty pissed that you chose now to open your eyes.”

Jared grimaces as he remembers flashes of Jensen dragging his bloody body out of that basement. He imagines Jensen washing his blood off of his skin and wrinkles his nose. He didn’t like the sight of Jensen covered in blood, even if it wasn’t his own.

“He’s had nothing but coffee and Red Bull since you went missing,” Sandy says as she tucks his hair behind his ear. “He’s a little excitable.”

Jared furrows his brow and tries to empty his mind. There’s too much going on. His grandfather just died and he’s living on his own. He’s about to graduate high school and he’s in love with his straight best friend. Not to mention that he’s in a hospital bed because he got the shit kicked out of him by a murderer.

Sometimes it’s too much. Sometimes he just wants to disappear.

A few minutes later Jensen rushes into the room and it’s like the sun has risen. Jared feels the smile pulling at his lips and he doesn’t even bother to fight it. Jensen looks exhausted but manic, eyes red and wide.

“You stupid fucking idiot,” Jensen growls, and Jared blinks. Sandy hisses and pats his arm.

“I’ll, uh, give you two a moment,” she says as she gets up. Jared watches her leave before turning his sleepy gaze back to Jensen. His eyes widen as he stalks over to his bed and climbs right up onto it, sitting back on his haunches next to Jared as he leans forward to touch his cheek.

“I told you. I fucking told you to let it go,” Jensen says as he leans over and buries his face in Jared’s neck. “But no. You had to keep at it and nearly get yourself killed.”

“I put a murderer in jail,” Jared rasps as he reaches up to touch Jensen’s side. Jensen leaves his face buried in his neck, curled up next to him in a hospital bed. Jensen never did learn the concept of personal space.

“At what cost?” Jensen mumbles against his sleep-warm skin. “Maybe I’m selfish, but you are too valuable to sacrifice.”

“Okay,” Jared says thickly, fingertips digging into Jensen’s side. He pulls back and looks into Jared’s eyes. The expression in them is hard to read.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” Jensen demands. He pushes Jared’s floppy hair away from his forehead. “I don’t know what I have to do to get it through this thick skull that you’re important.”

“I got it,” Jared replies. Jensen lets out a breath and nods. He curls up right next to Jared in his hospital bed and finally succumbs to exhaustion. Jared has to beg the nurse not to disrupt him when she comes in to check his vitals, and once she’s finally gone he falls asleep as well, bruised cheek pressed against the top of Jensen’s head.




Jared wakes up to ice cold water splashing him in the face.

He splutters and opens his eyes, wincing as his vision comes into focus. Jensen is standing over him wearing a bemused expression and holding out a bottle of water. Once he sees that Jared is conscious, he casually takes a sip.

Jared shakes his wet hair out and tries to prop himself up on his elbows before he remembers the pain in his shoulders, and then struggles to pull himself up into a sitting position. The sun is fresh and new on the horizon and the detectives are standing off to the side of him. Jared blinks owlishly as Jensen slowly screws the cap back onto the now empty water bottle.

“You told me that you wouldn’t fucking do this to me again,” Jensen says shakily. He tosses the empty water bottle at Jared and it hits him in the chest. The impact of the bottle doesn’t hurt, but the reflexive tensing of every muscle in his body burns like fire.

“Could we maybe not further assault him?” Collins asks. Jensen huffs and glares at Jared, but he can see that Jensen’s eyes are red and puffy. He hasn’t slept.

“He’s like a goddamn horror movie,” Jensen tells him. “If he says ‘be right back’, you’re guaranteed to find him in a bloody pile somewhere.”

“Are you okay, Jared?” Bartha says as he squats down next to a still dazed Jared. “Do you need a hospital?”

“No hospitals,” Jared mumbles. Jensen rolls his eyes and disappears into the bathroom. He comes out a few moments later and gets down on his knees next to Jared before leaning in to clean the blood off of his face with a warm, wet cloth. The pressure hurts but feels good at the same time, and Jared closes his eyes and leans into it. “I’m just a little banged up.”

“Why don’t you start from the beginning?” Collins asks. Jensen presses the cloth to the cut on his eyebrow and Jared hisses.

“I came back to my room last night to find Cooper and three guys waiting to jump me,” Jared rasps out. “He gave me the usual. You know, skip town or I’ll put a bullet in your brain.”

Jensen’s hand falters for a moment before he slides the towel down to wipe the blood from his neck, but otherwise he doesn’t react.

“Shit,” Collins says, and steps out into the hall without another word. Jared looks over at Bartha, who seems to be looking at Jensen. Jared clears his throat and Bartha looks back at him.

“We’re working on getting a warrant for Cooper’s club,” Bartha tells him. Jared nods and then sluggishly rolls to one side, resting his head against Jensen’s shoulder as he pulls his wallet out of his pocket. He extracts the piece of paper with Cooper’s warehouse address on it and hands it over. “What’s this?”

“I would suggest trying to get in there also,” Jared tells him. “It’s where Cooper keeps his product.”

Bartha nods and Jared closes his eyes as he continues to lean against Jensen, who begrudgingly reaches up to put his arm around his shoulders. Collins walks in at that moment and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Are you sure you don’t need a hospital?” Jensen asks quietly. Jared manages to shake his head and sit up.

“Nope, just a shower,” Jared says as he takes Jensen and Bartha’s hands to stand up. The room spins slightly and he closes his eyes. “And maybe some Excedrin.”

“I’m going to take a wild guess here,” Collins starts as he takes in Jared’s bruised face. “And say that you don’t plan on listening to Cooper and leaving Los Angeles.”

“Good guess,” Jared replies. Collins just nods to himself and looks up to meet his gaze.

“Then you better take that shower,” Collins tells him. “Because the captain wants to see you.”


“Look, there’s just no fucking way that this is going to happen.”

Jared is slumped down in the chair facing Morgan’s desk. His ribs are screaming in protest, probably cracked, and the wound over his left eye is throbbing painfully. At least he doesn’t have a black eye or a split lip, just general all over bruising. Thank god for small favors.

Collins and Bartha are standing on either side of him, boxing him in like he’s a prisoner, and Jensen is awkwardly leaning against the wall near the door. Morgan clasps his fingers together on his desk and levels Jared with a parental glare. And considering that Morgan is sort of the second closest thing Jared ever had to a parent, he glares back like a defiant teenager.

“Jared,” Morgan starts. “When you went and got your ass kicked, you made yourself a witness. Not only that, a witness with a threat on his life. We need to take you into protective custody.”

“And again, there is no fucking way that’s going to happen,” Jared replies. Collins lets out an exasperated sigh and Morgan’s jaw clenches. “Why aren’t you trying to take Jensen into custody? He’s the pretty boy billionaire who lives his life in the public eye.”

“Leave me out of this, asshole.” Jensen narrows his eyes at Jared. “My father is the billionaire. Me? I’m just a lowly millionaire.”

“I know you’re trying to be cute,” Collins tells him, blue eyes narrowed coolly. “But you just sound like a dick.”

“Perfect,” Jensen snaps back. “Maybe we should start a club.”

“This is a police station,” Morgan grits out. “Not a high school locker room. You two can flirt later.”

Jensen lets out a huff and Misha glares disbelievingly at his captain. Jared smirks for just a moment before his angry, defiant mask slips back into place.

“Mr. Ackles has hired a private security company to ensure Jensen’s safety,” Morgan tells him. Jensen shifts awkwardly and pouts a little, like he’s not happy with his dad butting into his life but he doesn’t have much say. “When he’s not with our detectives, he has a full security detail. He doesn’t need our help.”

Jared’s mouth twists into a grimace and he scrubs his hand over his face before he remembers that it’s swollen and bruised. He licks his lips and gets the coppery tang of blood on his tongue. He finally squares his shoulders and meets Morgan’s gaze.

“That works for me,” he says, and Jensen and the detectives all look over at him. “If you need me, I’ll be living in the lap of luxury.”

“Excuse me?” Jensen asks, raising a perfectly groomed eyebrow at Jared. “Did you just declare that you were moving into my house?”

“Temporary situation,” Jared grumbles. “Safety in numbers.”

“You know what? Fuck it,” Morgan replies. Collins tosses his hands up in frustration and Bartha just hangs his head. “It’s more than I thought I would get out of him anyway. Stupid bastard.”

“I’m sitting right here,” Jared replies snidely. Morgan just raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, did you not hear him clearly?” Jensen says, leaning forward slightly to look right at Jared. “You’re a stupid bastard.”

“I will punch you right in that pretty mouth,” Jared growls. “Don’t tempt me.”

“No you wouldn’t,” Morgan replies easily. Jensen smirks cockily and Jared rolls his eyes. “Now, get the fuck out of here. I’m assuming you’re both going to insist on attending this lunch even if we ask you not to?”

“Score one for the captain,” Jensen says, and Morgan looks at him like he would like nothing more than to smack him across the face. “I have to go.”

“Wait,” Jared cuts in. “What lunch?”

“Oh, I was going to tell you,” Jensen replies with a sugary smile, “but then you went and got your ass kicked and went incommunicado for twelve hours.” Jared feels his nostrils flare but otherwise he doesn’t react. “My overbearing father hired me some bodyguards and Sandy’s dad invited us to a memorial lunch. A lot can happen when you’re off being a dick.”

“I thought her funeral was next week?” Jared asks, ignoring the dig. Jensen is pissed that he took off and left him at the hospital, and Jared knows it. Jensen swallows hard and leans against the wall, suddenly interested in his own fingers.

“It is, but this, it’s just for us,” Jensen says quietly. “Her family. Friends. The people who loved her the most.”

“Then you should go,” Jared says without hesitation. “I’ll be fine.”

“Your presence was specifically requested,” Jensen tells him, and Jared blinks at the news. “You have to go too.”

“What?” Jared replies. “Why would I be invited?”

“Because Sandy adored you,” Jensen snaps. He looks upset and Jared swallows hard. Morgan and the detectives all look away but Jared’s gaze is locked on those angry green eyes. “She never stopped adoring you, not even after you left us. You were important to her, so you’re going to fucking be there.”

“Okay,” Jared says soothingly, holding up both hands in surrender. “I’ll go.”

Jensen nods and then closes his eyes for a moment before turning to face Collins. The detective clears his throat awkwardly and Jensen lets out a breath.

“I’d like to go home now,” Jensen tells him, “and it looks like you have to take me.”

Jensen glares at Jared one last time before turning to walk out of the office.


The drive over to Jared’s hotel to get his things is awkward.

Collins drives and Jensen rides shotgun while Jared and Bartha sit in the back and stare out the windows. Bartha accompanies Jared up to his room, which is sort of ridiculous because Bartha is tiny and not any more armed than he is, but Jared is too tired to put up a fight.

Blood stains the carpet where Jared landed in a crumpled heap, and he assumes he’ll be getting that bill in the mail. He gathers his things slowly, still stiff and sore from the beat down he caught the night before. Still, Jared packs light. He’s wrestling with his garment bag when Bartha clears his throat and speaks.

“Look,” he starts, and Jared turns to face him. “I gotta know. You guys were a couple before you took off, right? You and Ackles?”

Jared spins around so fast that his shoulders scream in protest. They’re burning like crazy and he wants nothing more than to sit down and ice them, but that just isn’t going to happen. Bartha is smirking at him and his fedora is tipped back, black-framed glasses making his eyes look even bluer. He looks young and boyish and Jared swallows hard.

“No,” Jared says after a slow exhale. “We weren’t.”

“But you wanted to be,” Bartha replies fastidiously. Jared narrows his eyes for only a moment and flicks his hair out of his face before turning back to his garment bag.

“Look, it was a long time ago,” Jared tells him. He swallows hard and furrows his brow. “And I don’t really think it’s worth talking about now.”

“That would be a valid argument if it weren’t happening all over again,” Bartha says with a coy little smirk. Jared shakes his head tersely and grabs his garment bag. He flings it over his shoulder and his knees nearly buckle at the wave of pain that it sends through his body. Bartha rolls his eyes and steps forward to take the garment bag away from Jared. “Are you always this unnecessarily brave? Or I guess dense would also work in this case.”

“Look Bartha,” Jared grits out. “I appreciate that you’re trying to get me to talk about my pain, or whatever, but it isn’t necessary. Whatever I feel doesn’t matter. Jensen is straight, and once this is all over I’m on the first fight back to New York.”


“Oh, we’re making up stories now?” Bartha replies dryly. “Jensen’s straight, you’re leaving, and tonight I’m doing the horizontal tango with Jude Law.”

“... The horizontal tango?” Jared repeats slowly. Bartha rolls his eyes and tosses Jared’s garment bag over the back of a chair.

“Look, Jared,” Bartha says as he levels Jared with a knowing stare. “Ackles may like females, but I know there’s one guy he would consider changing his stance for.” Jared blinks a few times and Bartha’s lips curve into a wicked smirk. “I’m talking about you, superstar.”

Jared blinks, opens and closes his mouth a few times, and finally settles on rolling his eyes. Bartha smirks and crosses his arm over his chest.

“Wow, you really are dense,” he chuckles, and Jared glares at him. “Look, you’re gorgeous. You’ve got that whole sexy devil may care thing going on, but I’ve gotten the Ackles Bitchface enough in these last few days to forget about even trying to hit on you.”

“Look, I’m… flattered, I guess,” Jared replies slowly. “But trust me. You’re wrong. He made it very clear that he didn’t feel that way about me.”

“What, ten years ago?” Bartha says with a scoff. “Show me one eighteen year old on the planet that knows what they want.”

“I did,” Jared says thickly. The smile slips from Bartha’s face and he clears his throat awkwardly. Jared reaches up to run his fingers through his hair before he remembers the pulled muscles in his shoulders. He hisses at the pain and then lets out a growl of frustration. “I got everything. Can we go?”

“Yeah, sure.” Bartha picks up the garment bag and tosses it over his shoulder as Jared picks up his duffle. Bartha looks up at him with big blue eyes and Jared narrows his gaze in annoyance. “Just… look a little closer, okay? A lot can change in a decade.”

“So they tell me,” Jared mutters, and then pushes past Bartha on his way out the door.


The detectives escort them both into Jensen’s house after Jared consumes a much-needed cigarette or three and they consult briefly with the security team stationed within.

It’s ridiculous. No one can protect Jared better than himself, and no one can protect Jensen better than Jared. Everyone else is just getting in the way.

The detectives bid them adieu and Bartha tosses a meaningful look in Jared’s direction before turning to follow his partner out of the house. Jared follows a still perturbed Jensen around the grand estate while he fills his staff in on the situation. He offers them all paid time off until it all blows over, but few of them actually take him up on it.

Jensen leads Jared upstairs to one of the guest rooms and Jared raises a brow as he takes in his luxurious new accommodations. He lets out a low whistle as he sets down his luggage on the plush four-poster bed. He slowly rolls his shoulders and swallows hard at the brief shock of pain. He thinks there may be a bottle of pills in his bag, and Jensen has more than one fully stocked liquor cabinet downstairs, but he needs his mind clear right now. At this point, the pain can only make it sharper.

“It’s, uh, right next to mine,” Jensen says, and it takes Jared a moment to realize that he’s talking about the bedrooms. “So, if you need anything. I’m right there.”

“Got it,” Jared responds. “Thanks for putting me up.”

“No problem. It’s not like I don’t have the space,” Jensen responds. There’s an awkward pause, a brief moment of heavy silence, and Jared turns to face Jensen. There are a few feet of plush carpet between them, but it feels like they’re too close. Or maybe not close enough. Jared can’t really tell anymore. “So why did you want to stay here?”

“Are you kidding me?” Jared says. He gives Jensen a derisive snort and gestures towards the front of the house with his chin. “Your security detail? They’re just nightclub bouncers with a day job. I mean, it’s not like I couldn’t give the detectives the slip, but these guys will just be that much easier to shake.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘shake’?” Jensen demands. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Look, this isn’t over,” Jared tells him. Jensen’s eyes are wide and so very green. His cheeks are flushed pink and Jared realizes somberly that he’s seen Jensen angry more in the last three days than he did in the entire duration of their friendship. “And I’m sure as fuck not going to sit around while someone else takes care of it.”

Jensen’s chest heaves with each angry breath and Jared just meets his glare head on. He expected Jensen to be angry. What he didn’t expect was for Jensen to surge forward and push him with both hands. Jared goes sprawling backwards, landing with a bounce on the soft bedspread. Pain rips through him as his shoulders rotate and shift, but Jared barely has time to process it before Jensen is climbing right on top of him. Jensen’s knees press into the bed on either side of Jared’s hips and his fingers curl angrily in the lapel of his jacket. Jared blinks and looks up into Jensen’s livid green eyes, just inches from his own.

“Jensen, what the – “

“No, fuck you. I’m talking now,” Jensen grits out. He twists his fingers in Jared’s jacket and pushes in with his fists, pinning his shoulders to the bed in a way that makes him want to cry out in pain. “Ten years later and you’re just as fucking stupid as you’ve always been.”

“Get off me.” Jared reaches up to grip Jensen’s shoulders but he just shrugs off his grip like it’s nothing. Jensen shakes him a little and Jared squirms, trying to slide up the bed so he can use his legs for leverage.

“Why do you get off on constantly putting yourself in danger?” Jensen demands. His voice is hysterical and desperate and Jared finally stops struggling long enough to look into his eyes. What he sees there makes him let out a long breath and put his hands on the sides of Jensen’s neck. His skin is silky smooth and Jared takes a moment to make note of how his callused thumb looks stroking that bit of tan flesh.

“I do whatever I need to,” Jared gets out in a gruff whisper. Jensen looks pained and his grip on Jared’s jacket loosens, fingers spreading out across his chest. “Because honestly, what have I got to lose?”

“You fucking…“ Jensen cuts himself off and closes his eyes for a moment. Jared swallows hard and lets his thumb trail along the sharp edge of Jensen’s jaw. He feels the barest hint of uneven stubble under the pad of his thumb and he imagines Jensen’s hand trembling as he shaved that morning, worried sick about him. “You have more than you know.”

Jared opens his mouth to speak but Jensen surges down to fuse their mouths together. Jared is too shocked by the kiss to even react, eyes open wide as Jensen’s lips press against his. This feels different than his drunken, fuzzy recollection from years earlier. Jensen’s lips are softer, even more plush than he remembers. Jensen lets out a soft noise, something almost like a whimper, and it makes Jared snap back to the present.

He closes his eyes and cradles the back of Jensen’s head in his hand as he returns the kiss, opening his mouth against Jensen’s and moaning as Jensen’s tongue meets his. The kiss is intense, too much all too soon, ten plus years of pent up emotion finally overflowing. Jared bites at Jensen’s bottom lip, tugs on it as Jensen’s fingertips dig into his chest, finding their way under layers until they can stroke at the smooth line of his collarbone.

Jared’s lungs ache but he doesn’t dare break the kiss. Jensen lets out all these little noises, tiny gasps and whimpers that only spur Jared on, make him kiss even harder.

Jared feels stressed and sated, riled up and relieved all at once. This is Jensen on top of him, in his arms, kissing him. This is all he’s ever wanted for longer than a decade and now that he has it, all he can do is hold on for dear life.

Jensen is the first to break the kiss. He pants harshly against Jared’s wet, tingling mouth, lips brushing just enough to send little jolts of electricity through his veins. Jensen presses one last kiss to his mouth, something soft and sweet to counteract the passionate, almost angry kiss that came before it.

Jared opens his eyes to see wide green ones staring back at him. Jensen reaches up to push his hair back from his face, kisses him one last time, and then rolls off of the bed in one fluid motion.

Jared rolls up into a sitting position to see Jensen staring at him, one hand over his mouth. He wants to pull that hand away, see the effect their kissing had on that ridiculous mouth.

Jensen pulls his hand away like he heard Jared’s wordless plea and a thrill shoots down his spine at seeing those lips so red and swollen. He did that. He made Jensen look so riled up and debauched.

“We have to leave for lunch in half an hour,” Jensen says in a low, rough timbre. He stares at Jared for a long time, eyes wide and conflicted. “Meet me down in the foyer.”

With that, Jensen turns on his heels and leaves the room. Jared stares after him, chest still heaving and lips still tingling. After what seems like minutes, he finally lets out a frustrated growl and falls back onto the bed.

Jensen Ackles is fucking confusing.


Jared doesn’t really get the chance to talk to Jensen before they’re being carted off to Sandy’s memorial lunch.

He meets Jensen down in the foyer in exactly thirty minutes, showered and looking as presentable as someone who got their ass handed to them the night before can manage. His hair is neatly combed and he’s wearing a white button down, sans tie, under his last fresh black suit. He debated with leaving his sidearm behind, but with the situation as tense as it is, he didn’t feel comfortable being without it.

Jensen looks gorgeous and respectable in a navy blue suit with a white shirt underneath, and he seems to take a quick little breath when he meets Jared’s gaze. As soon as Jared opens his mouth to speak, their security detail ushers them out to the car.

They both remain silent during the limo ride to the restaurant. There isn’t much they can say with a driver and three armed guards riding with them. The tension is palpable and Jensen seems entirely focused on staring out the tinted window the entire time.

The luncheon is being held at one of the more upscale restaurants in town, closed for a private function, sorry for any inconvenience. The paparazzi are out in full force, and both Jared and Jensen keep their heads down as they make their way inside, flanked by bodyguards.

The small crowd inside the banquet room of the restaurant is basically a who’s who of people Jared never thought he would be face to face with again. The table that Jared and Jensen are seated at consist of Sandy’s parents, Jensen’s parents and siblings, Katie and her father, and awkwardly enough, Danneel and her husband. There are more than a few curious glances tossed his way and Jared just takes his place with a polite smile. He keeps his head down, not wanting to exchange pleasantries with any of these people if he can help it.

“They’re not going to bite.” Jensen’s voice in his ear is unexpected and Jared nearly jumps. It’s the first thing he’s said since running out on Jared after their kiss, and he merely smirks before turning his gaze to someone else. If Jensen thinks he’s going to sweep this kiss under the rug like he did ten years ago, he’s got another thing coming. There’s no alcohol or teenage hormones to blame this one on, and they’re going to talk about it if it kills them.

“Jared.” He stiffens and turns to see Sandy’s father looking down at him. Steven McCoy, tough guy action hero movie star, is staring at Jared with red-rimmed watery eyes because someone killed his baby girl and he has no idea why. Jared clears his throat and stands up, chair legs squeaking loudly as he turns to face him. He holds his hand out and Jared takes it in a firm grip, placing his other hand over the top of his before letting go. “I’m so glad you could be here, Jared.”

“Of course, sir,” he says quietly. Seeing Sandy’s father breaks something inside of him. A lump crawls up into his throat and it’s hard to swallow it back. “It’s an honor to have been invited.”

“Sandy loved you, son.” Steven reaches out to pat Jared’s shoulder, squeezing for a moment before letting go. “Sandy held a great deal of love in her heart, and it wouldn’t be right to let her go without getting all of those people she loved in a room to honor her memory.”

“No sir,” Jared says thickly. “It certainly wouldn’t.”

Steven smiles sadly at him and then moves on to Jensen, his daughter’s very best friend, as Jared takes his seat. He looks up to see Katie dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief while Danneel gently rubs her back. To take one quick look around the room is to know that there isn’t a dry eye in the house. To take one brief glance around is to know that these people loved Sandy, truly and deeply.

The lunch begins with a word from Sandy’s father, wherein he reminds everyone that this is not a time to mourn the loss of Sandy, but to celebrate her life. He tells everyone to try and focus on happy memories of a girl they all loved, but by the end of his speech nearly everyone in the hall is dabbing at their eyes.

Jared glances over at Jensen to see that he has his eyes closed, brow furrowed in what looks like agony. Jared raises his hand and lets it hover over Jensen’s shoulder for a moment before he awkwardly pulls it away and lets it drop to his lap. He catches Danneel’s eye as she wipes at her cheeks with nimble fingers, and Jared quickly drops his gaze.

The food is delivered, a five-star feast, but no one seems to be in the mood to eat. There is so much emotion in the air, palpable sadness and despair, and it hangs heavy over Jared like a blanket. He translates it the same way he always has: into anger. He wants to avenge Sandy’s death. He wants to find whoever took her life and make them pay.

Jared pushes back from the table and excuses himself. Jensen tosses a curious glance in his direction and Jared waves off the security that stands to attention as he makes his way towards the restrooms.

He splashes some water on his face and takes a look at his reflection under the muted fluorescent lights. He came out of the altercation last night a lot better than he has before in the same situation. He has a shiner but his eye isn’t black or swollen. There is a bruise on his opposite temple and what appears to be rug burn on his chin. But still, most of his injuries seem to be hidden by his clothes. Even his shoulders ache a little bit less, but that could be due in part to Jared taking that physical pain and turning it into something else. Something angry. He’s good at that.

Jared takes one last deep breath and exits the restroom only to come face to face with one Danneel Harris, Jensen’s high school girlfriend.

“Hey Jare-bear,” she says, using her old nickname for him in that slinky tone of hers even as her eyes stay glossy with tears. Her eyes sweep over the marks on his face. “Still getting into trouble, I see.”

“Well, it is what I’m good at,” Jared replies easily as he leans against the wall. The position sends a twinge of pain through his shoulder but he ignores it as he shoves his hands in his pockets. “Hello, Danneel.”

This is awkward, especially since they were very rarely ever alone together even when Jared was firmly ensconced in her group of friends. There was never any bad blood between them. They just never really had anything in common aside from the fact that she had everything he wanted, and he’s pretty sure she knew it.

“Glad you to see you could make it,” she says, and Jared bites his lip.

“Too little, too late, I’m afraid,” he replies. Danneel smiles a little and takes a few steps towards him; long legs perched delicately atop high, spiky heels.

“You’ll find who did this,” Danneel says simply, like it’s a fact carved in stone. Her unshakable faith in him makes him raise a brow, and he nods at her before pushing away from the wall and stepping past her. “Oh, Jared? One more thing, if you have a moment.”

“All the time in the world for a pretty girl,” Jared says automatically, bullshit charmer façade firmly in place. “What do you need, Danneel?”

“You flatter me, Padalecki,” Danneel replies .She steps closer and looks up at Jared’s face. He takes in her smudged eyeliner and faded lipstick. He’s never seen her look less than copy paper perfect. “Do you know why Jensen and I broke up?”

The question stuns Jared, but he does his best not to show it. He clears his throat and looks down at her with a tamed expression.

“I never paid much attention to the tabloids,” Jared tells her. “But I believe it was something to do with Jensen not wanting to settle down.”

“That’s what the press reported, but that wasn’t the real reason. Not entirely, that is. We were just babies. Neither of us wanted to settle down.” Danneel lets out a breath and looks down for a moment before looking up to meet his curious gaze. “Jensen realized what he really wanted after it was too late for him to have it. And, unfortunately, it wasn’t me.”

“I’m… sorry. But look, I should really get back.” Jared turns away from her and closes his eyes.

“It was you.” The admission is tiny and quiet, in a voice so unlike Danneel’s, and Jared’s eyes snap open as he turns back to face her. She gives him a minute smile and shrugs helplessly. “I’m pretty sure it was always you.”

Jared’s mouth opens and closes a few times before he finally decides on a dazed, slack-jawed expression. Danneel chuckles and reaches up to lift his chin. He clears his throat and then narrows his gaze, taking a step backwards as he eyes her wearily. Danneel rolls her eyes and smirks at him.

“Oh, come on. It’s been almost nine years. I moved on long ago,” Danneel tells him. “Jensen wasn’t the same after you left. It’s like you took a piece of him with you.” Jared opens his mouth to protest but Danneel reaches up to press a fingertip to his lips. “I know there’s no way you could have known, not after what he said to you. I don’t even think Jensen knew. The path between his head and his heart has always been a little convoluted.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Jared asks helplessly. Danneel shrugs one shoulder and looks up at him with a small, honest smile.

“Jensen and I may have broken up years ago,” she tells him. “But we never stopped being friends. And I can’t just sit here and watch history repeat itself. You two have been given a second chance here.”

“I don’t know,” Jared says helplessly. A tear spills over Danneel’s eye and she reaches out to touch his arm.

“Look, Jared. You two have been playing this game for over a decade, and it’s time you got your shit together,” she tells him. Jared swallows hard and bites his bottom lip. “If something good can come from Sandy’s death, anything good, it should be that.”

“Danneel, I… thank you.” Jared blinks when she envelops him in a hug and he awkwardly pats her back.

“Don’t thank me yet. You still have to convince Jensen to stop being a dumbass, which is no easy feat,” she tells him. She smiles at him and then walks away, pausing by the door to look over her shoulder at him. “But if anyone can do it, it’s you. Good luck.”

Danneel heads back into the banquet room and Jared follows a few moments after. They take their place at their table and Jared looks over at Jensen, takes in his damp eyes and tight smile, and gives him a comforting nod.

Sandy’s father opens up the floor for anyone that would like to say a few words, and the restaurant becomes quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Katie lets out a choked sob into her handkerchief and Jensen clears his throat as he stands. Jared looks up at him, heart jumping into his throat as Jensen clears his throat and begins to speak.

“Some people would argue that public speaking is what I’m best at, but I can’t seem to find the perfect words for this situation, if there are any,” Jensen starts, and every syllable is laced with pain. “Sandy was my best friend. It started when we were little and she called me a butthead for always showing off my new toys.” That elicits a tiny, watery chuckle from the crowd and even Jared’s lips quirk up slightly. “Sandy always saw people for who they were, rather than what they had, and she taught me to do the same. Her unflinching kindness never failed to inspire me, and every single day I vow to live by her example.

“When Sandy was taken from us, we lost a true star,” Jensen continues, and Sandy’s father along with the other movie stars in the room nod in agreement. Jensen picks up a flute of champagne and swallows hard before continuing. “And try as hard as they may, no one will ever manage to burn as brightly as she did. Sandy will never be forgotten. Someone that loves as hard as she did leaves a mark on your heart, and that mark will never, ever fade.” Jensen raises his glass and Jared watches as one shimmery tear trails down Jensen’s cheek. Jared’s heart breaks even harder as Jensen’s voice cracks on his final words. “This one’s for you, baby girl. I’ll love you always.”

Those in the room that aren’t crying, and even some that are, raise their glass high and Jared does the same. Jensen sniffles, just once, and then takes a sip before sitting down. He’s shaking, ready to break, and this time Jared doesn’t hesitate before reaching over to grip his shoulder. Jensen looks over and gives him a grateful smile, cheeks shining with tears. Jared feels a tear leak out of his own eye and it surprises him. He can’t remember the last time he cried.

Jensen lets out a breath and reaches under the table to put his hand on Jared’s knee.

It soothes him.




Jared is inexplicably nervous as Jensen shuts the door to his bedroom. He wipes his palms on his jeans and wanders into the middle of the bedroom that’s half the size of his entire house.

This grand estate feels more like home than his own house. Since his grandfather died, that place just feels like a bunch of wood and nails that he now owns. It’s just another thing that he has no idea how to handle.

He’s spent more nights in this room then he can even count, sharing Jensen’s gigantic bed. There are half a dozen guest rooms but Jensen never seemed to mind. He always let Jared share with him, as long as he never complained about his ice cold feet.

But still, this place doesn’t much feel like home either. At this point, he’s not even sure he has one.

“Do you like these new curtains?” Jensen says suddenly. Jared turns to see Jensen appraising a set of wafting, beige curtains. “The new decorator had them installed while we were off saving the world. I think they’re a little emasculating for a hero, to be honest.”

“Glad to see that our most recent foray into the world of crime fighting hasn’t left you with a big head,” Jared tells him. “Or well, bigger. I’m pretty sure you already hold that world record anyway.”

Jensen turns and gives him that cocky, I’m-better-than-you-and-I-know-it smirk, the one Jared fell in love with, and he suddenly remembers why he’s here.

“So uh, talking,” Jared says awkwardly. He reaches up to scratch the back of his head and Jensen raises an eyebrow at him. “We should do that.”

“Whatever has such a silver-tongued bastard such as yourself so ineloquent is bound to be bad news,” Jensen replies with a charming smile, but there’s a nervous crinkle in his brow that Jared has learned to spot. “Out with it, sleuthalecki.”

“I have no idea how to go about saying this,” Jared says on a long exhale of breath. His heart is pounding in his chest and Jensen is looking at him with those big green eyes and Jared just… can’t take it anymore. “So I’ll just say it. Jensen, you’re my best friend, and I love you.”

“This isn’t news, Jared,” Jensen replies, and Jared furrows his brow in confusion. “I love you, too.”

And at that, those three words he wants to hear said in the wrong inflection, the wrong tone, Jared starts to laugh. It’s a sad, broken sound, and his eyes well up before he even realizes how upset he is, how badly this is going to go. Jensen has no idea, and now Jared has painted himself into a corner. Things are about to get sticky.

“No, Jensen,” Jared says with a humorless chuckle. He looks up and meets Jensen’s gaze, lets him see everything he’s kept hidden. Jensen’s eyes widen and he takes a step back before Jared can even open his mouth. “I love you.”

“Jared.”

“And maybe I’m selfish, or fuck, I don’t know,” Jared gets out. He’s tripping all over his words like a nervous little boy, and he realizes that that’s all he really is in this particular moment. “But I just – I can’t.”

“You can’t what, Jared?” Jensen asks. His bottom lip is trembling and he looks wounded. Jared has never seen him look so vulnerable. “You can’t love me?”

“No, I’m pretty sure I’ll always do that,” Jared says with a wry, painful smile. “I can’t hide it anymore. I look at you and it hurts me. It’s tearing me up inside and after everything that’s happened, I can’t handle it anymore. I had to tell you.”

“Jared,” Jensen says slowly, in a tone that makes him feel anything but hopeful. But if he’s honest with himself, he never pictured this going any other way. It still doesn’t stop his heart from feeling like it’s being wrenched from his chest. “You’re incredibly important to me, and I would never want to be the one to hurt you.”

“But you’re going to be,” Jared says shakily. Jensen takes a step forward and Jared takes one back. Jensen’s eyes dim even more at that. Jared has never once been out of his reach. Jared blinks and he’s ashamed to feel a tear roll down his cheek. Jensen makes him weak.

“Jared, I don’t know what to say here,” Jensen finally says. He sits down on the edge of his giant bed and stares at his hands for a moment. Jared’s cheeks are aflame and his bruised ribs ache. He’s just in so much pain. Jensen finally looks up at him, and his expressive eyes are devastating. “I don’t feel that way about you.”

He says it quick and clean, like the cut of a knife. Jared recoils slightly and then blinks, nodding and reaching up to swipe his fingertips under his eyes.

“I’m with Danneel,” Jensen continues unnecessarily, twisting that knife with each syllable. “And even if I wasn’t, well.”

“No, that’s what I expected,” Jared replies. He tries to smile but it comes out more like a tight grimace. He had no idea how much he actually does love Jensen, not until the possibility of that love being returned was taken away completely. Jared feels trampled like a forgotten flower in some faraway garden. He’s not even sure he remembers how to breathe.

“You’re upset,” Jensen says. He looks distressed as he gets up off of the bed. “Jared, please. Let’s talk about this.”

And then Jensen makes the biggest mistake he could. He steps right up to Jared and puts his hands on his shoulders. Jensen is affectionate with strangers and even more affectionate with his friends, and Jared is the best one he’s got other than Sandy.

His touch burns like hot, scalding water and Jared jerks away. The action makes pain rip through his bruised, sliced open chest and it’s physical stacked right on top of emotional. Jared isn’t sure he can hold it all together any longer.

He doesn’t want to be here.

“I – I have to go,” Jared grits out as tears leak freely from his eyes. They’re swollen and sore and Jensen’s fingers burn where they brush against his skin. “I’m sorry. I have to leave.”

“Jared, don’t.” Jensen’s fingers dig into his shoulders and Jared cups his cheeks. Jensen startles but doesn’t pull away, green eyes wide and wet. Jared smiles sadly and presses a kiss to Jensen’s forehead before pulling away. It feels final. It feels like it might be the last time. “Jared!”

But it’s too late. He’s already on his way out the door and down the grand spiral staircase. He hears Jensen calling his name, but he doesn’t stop moving until he’s back in his car.

Jared has always been quick on his feet, but he makes decisions without thinking them through. All he knows is that he desperately wants to find a place that feels like home.

It isn’t here, and if he’s honest with himself, it never was.




Once they’re safely back in the house that night, Jared goes to his room and takes a shower while the security detail checks the perimeter.

A brief phone call to Bartha leaves him with the knowledge that they were able to get a warrant for Cooper’s club, but they weren’t able to find anything. The lack of evidence against Cooper will make it damn near impossible to get a warrant for his warehouse. So basically, they’ve accomplished nothing aside from letting Cooper know that they’re still digging. Bartha promises him that they are doing all they can but Jared still hangs up feeling irritated and anxious.

It shouldn’t be hard to slip past the security team. There are only four of them and Jared is, well, Jake Spade. Disappearing in a puff of smoke is what he does best.

He isn’t sure exactly what he’s going to do once he’s out into the world, but he’ll figure something out. Save the day before dawn. That shouldn’t be too hard.

Jared slips out of his towel and into a pair of cotton lounge pants, hair dripping water everywhere as he hangs his clothes up in the wardrobe. He really should get them cleaned. The suit that he wore the previous night is pretty much out of commission, but then again, Jensen can probably find a dry cleaner that can magically get out bloodstains.

There is a knock on the bedroom door and Jared tenses automatically, a habit that he’ll never break, and he swallows as he goes over to it. He opens it to see Jensen leaning against the doorjamb. His eyes sweep sleepily over Jared’s bare, bruised torso with faint intrigue before he looks up to meet his eyes.

“A postcard,” Jensen says in a slow rumble that makes something low in Jared’s belly stir. When Jensen offers nothing else, Jared raises an eyebrow.

“Care to elaborate?” Jared says. Jensen glares at him and unfolds his arms, pushing away from the doorframe with his foot as he flicks something at him. The corner of it hits Jared square in the chest just above his scar, and then flutters to the floor. Jared looks down to see a generic postcard from New York. He snagged it from a tacky tourist depot in the city. He thought Jensen would have appreciated the architecture of the Empire State Building. “Oh. You kept that?”

“My best friend drops a bombshell on me and then goes ghost three days after being kidnapped by a fucking murderer,” Jensen starts. His fingers are curled into fists at his sides and Jared rolls his lips into his mouth. “And two weeks later I get a goddamned postcard letting me know that he’s alive? How thoughtful.”

“Well,” Jared replies as he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck. “When you lay it all out like that, it makes me sound like an asshole.”

“You are an asshole,” Jensen spits as he pushes past Jared and into the room. Jared pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a slow breath. He doesn’t really want to have this particular fight right now. Or ever, really.

He bends down to pick the postcard up off of the floor. It’s slightly yellowed with age, the edges worn, and Jared flips it over to read the back. I just had to start over. That’s it. That’s all he wrote.

“Wow, I am an asshole,” he mumbles, and he hears Jensen snort derisively from somewhere behind him. Jared sighs and shuts the door before turning around to lean against it. Jensen looks furious and Jared knows this fight has been brewing since the moment he stepped off the plane in L.A. “You knew I wasn’t dead. Or even in trouble. I told Morgan that I was leaving.”

“But you didn’t tell me,” Jensen snaps. He’s going for angry but it just comes out sounding hurt.

“What the fuck do you want me to say, Jensen?” Jared demands. “I was a stupid kid. Maybe I went about leaving the wrong way, but we both know that I didn’t belong here.”

“Oh, and what,” Jensen snaps back. “You belong in New York all alone?”

“Maybe I do,” Jared replies shakily. “Look, I know I shouldn’t have left things the way I did. But by the time I got over myself, I had been MIA so long that I figured that getting back in touch with you would just cause nothing but heartache. Besides, it’s not like I didn’t leave you all the clues you needed to find me if you wanted to.”

“Excuse me, what?” Jensen replies as he crosses his arms over his chest. “What clues?”

“I sent you this postcard,” Jared says, holding it out to him. Jensen takes it wearily. “So you knew where I was.”

“You changed your goddamn name,” Jensen retorts. Jared snorts and rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, to Jake Spade. And then I became a fuckin’ PI,” Jared replies. “How many times did we watch Chinatown and The Maltese Falcon together, Jensen? And here I thought that I had actually taught you something.”

“Fuck you. I could have found you if I wanted to. Maybe I figured eventually you would stop being an idiot and come back,” Jensen says softly. He takes a step forward and his eyes drop from Jared’s face to the scar on his chest. “But you didn’t.”

“It was probably for the best,” Jared mumbles distractedly. Jensen reaches out and traces the smooth line of Jared’s scar with his fingertip. Jared lets his head fall back against the door as a shudder runs through his body. The sensitive skin around the scar sings at Jensen’s touch.

“Is that from – “

“Yeah, it is,” Jared cuts in. He doesn’t want to talk about the first time he almost died – the first of many times. “I’m fine now.”

“By the time I realized that maybe I had made a mistake, it was too late,” Jensen mumbles as he moves closer, crowding Jared against the door.

“What mistake did you make?” Jared replies, and it comes out on a breathy whisper. Jensen touches the scar again before flattening his palm against Jared’s chest and looking up at him with liquid jade eyes.

“I didn’t do this when I had the chance.”

Jensen surges up on his toes to kiss Jared hard enough that their teeth click painfully, but Jared doesn’t notice the sting. He reaches up and wraps one arm around Jensen’s waist and puts the other on the back of his head, curling his fingers into Jensen’s hair even as his shoulders ache.

Every single thought that isn’t Jensen flies out of Jared’s head and he focuses solely on kissing him, on keeping him in his arms.

“I want you,” Jensen breathes against his mouth, lips already bee stung from his nips and kisses. “Touch me, Jared, okay?”

Jared closes his eyes for a moment and presses his forehead against Jensen’s just to take a breath. Jensen turns his head to the side and opens his mouth against Jared’s jaw, letting out a pleased hum at the scrape of stubble against his skin.

Jared’s hands go for the hem of Jensen’s tee and he pulls it off despite the twinge in his shoulders. He wants to pick Jensen up and toss him on the bed, but that’s not an option. So instead he cups Jensen’s cheek in his hand and kisses him again, licking into his mouth as he palms Jensen’s hip and walks him backwards. He pushes Jensen back forcefully once they’re close enough and he smirks as he crawls backwards until he’s in the center of the bed. The action drags his pants down enough to expose the waistband of his black underwear and Jared nearly salivates at the sight of all that tan skin.

He lets out a growl and crawls on top of Jensen, kissing his mouth frantically before moving on to his jaw, and then his ears, and then his neck and shoulders. Jensen is panting, practically writhing underneath him, and when Jared grinds his hips down to feel his hard dick he nearly sobs in relief.

Jensen’s hands are everywhere – on Jared’s face and in his hair, twisting and pulling before sliding down his muscular back and then curling around his slim hips. Jared slides down Jensen’s body, kissing and licking and biting wherever he chooses until he reaches Jensen’s hips. The pace has been so frantic, so frenzied, but he takes the time to look up at Jensen’s face as he curls his fingers around the waistband of his sweat pants.

Jensen nods and even lifts his hips, arching in an obscene way, and Jared fixes his mouth to a small group of freckles on Jensen’s hip as he peels his pants and underwear down his legs. He slides his hands up Jensen’s legs and smiles as he traces the slight bow of them. He used to dream about fitting between these legs, and now he will.

Jared uses his feet to pull his own pants down enough to kick them off and then slides up Jensen’s body. They both gasp when their cocks brush and Jensen locks his knees around Jared’s hips. He fits perfectly, just like he knew he would.

Their mouths crash together again and it’s fireworks, it’s heaven on earth and everything he’s ever wanted, and then Jensen reaches between them to curl his fingers around Jared’s dick. He lets out a moan and Jensen shudders, body arching up deliciously into Jared.

“You’re so fuckin’ huge, shit.” Jensen lets out a soft sigh and then grins against Jared’s ear. He can feel the curve of his lips and it makes him shudder. “Go easy on me, sleuthalecki.”

Jared makes a noise that’s some sort of cross between a laugh and a sob, and pulls back until he can find Jensen’s mouth again. They kiss for a long while, rutting against each other and leaving sticky smears against sweat-damp skin. Jensen finally pulls away and rolls out from underneath Jared. He gets on his stomach and reaches out towards the nightstand. Jared nearly loses it at the sight of that freckled, muscular back and the sinuous curve of his ass. Jared kisses and licks his way down Jensen’s spine, not stopping until he’s low enough to bite at the curve of his ass.

“This is the room Chris usually stays in when he visits,” Jensen pants out as he rummages through the nightstand drawer. “So, ah. Jackpot.”

Jensen tosses some condoms and a tube of lube onto the bed and Jared nearly loses it. He feels feverish and his heart is hammering away against his ribcage. He feels raw and animalistic and he doesn’t even hesitate before using his thumbs to spread Jensen’s cheeks and get his mouth on that pink, dusky hole. Jensen lets out a sharp gasp, keening loudly as Jared’s tongue licks and prods, slicking tightly furled muscle. Jensen slams his fist down onto the bed, breath coming in sharp little pants as he spreads his legs instinctively.

Jared is certain that Jensen has been with a man before, but if anything they were drunken, fumbling fucks and Jared is determined to do this right. He wants Jensen to lose his fucking mind and completely forget that anyone but him has ever touched him.

Jensen tries to turn over and Jared growls, slinging an arm over his lower back to keep him pinned to the bed as he sucks and licks at his hole, coaxing it open enough so that he can slip a finger inside with no resistance. Jensen whines, hips rutting against the bed as Jared prepares him thoroughly, and Jared grins against Jensen’s skin with spit-slick lips.

“Jared, please,” Jensen begs, voice broken and raw. “Please.”

Jared pulls away and flips Jensen over, spreading those gorgeous bowed legs and fitting between them. Jensen watches him reverently as he tears open a condom and rolls it on with only slightly nervous fingers. He slicks himself up and then watches Jensen’s face as he fingers him open. He takes note of the furrow of Jensen’s brow, the beads of sweat on his forehead, and the sweet curve of his bottom lip as he moans.

Jared carelessly wipes his hand on the bedspread and lines himself up, the head of his cock teasing Jensen’s slick entrance. Jensen reaches up to grip Jared’s shoulders, but he quickly slides his hands up to the back of his neck like he remembers that Jared is in pain. He’s staring right into his eyes without an ounce of hesitation, and Jared is flying so high that he doesn’t think he’ll ever come down.

“Tell me something, Jensen,” Jared says breathlessly as he wraps his hand around the seductive curve of Jensen’s hip. “Tell me that this means something.”

“Jared,” Jensen replies in a tone that’s rough but sweet as honey at the same time. His fingers curl into Jared’s sweat-damp hair and his swollen lips curve into a knowing smile. “This means everything.”

They both cry out as Jared’s hips snap forward. His mouth drops open and he looks down at Jensen’s face. His eyes are closed but he looks happy, even peaceful, and his lips are pulled up into a pleased smile.

Jensen lifts his legs to wrap them around Jared’s slim waist and opens his eyes to look up at him. He lets out a breathy moan, lips swollen and pink, and pushes back against Jared. It hurts to stay propped up like he is so he lowers himself down onto his elbows, pressing their chests together and trapping Jensen’s hard dick between their bellies.

Jared starts to roll his hips, languid and slow, and Jensen arches up on a sigh. It’s the most beautiful thing that Jared has ever seen, and he leans down to open his mouth against the sweaty curve of Jensen’s throat.

Jensen wraps his arms around Jared’s neck and they move in perfect rhythm. It’s impossible to process what this moment means to Jared. It’s everything, all he’s ever wanted, all he’s ever dreamed about. Jensen lifts his head to kiss his way up Jared’s neck and whisper in his ear, breath sultry warm.

It’s perfect in every sense of the word. It doesn’t matter how they got here, or how long it took them to do it. They’re together now, and Jared can feel the curve of Jensen’s grin pressing against his jaw.

Their pace is slow and lazy. It’s been too long in coming to rush it. Jared wants to remember every single second of this moment for the rest of his life.

“This is perfect,” Jensen whispers in a raw, gorgeous voice. He kisses Jared’s mouth and looks into his eyes. Jared pushes in just a little harder and Jensen cries out before biting down on his bottom lip. “God, you’re fucking perfect.

Jared lets out a tiny, choked sob and leans down to kiss him again as he starts to roll his hips a little faster. Amidst everything, amidst agony and heartache, he’s found this.

And it’s all he’s ever wanted.

[onto part five.]
 
 
 
samjsjlovesamjsjlove on June 12th, 2010 05:52 pm (UTC)
okay, you actually had me crying! I've never actually cried while reading a fic - i've come close - but never actually cried. Just. Wow.

And then the crying was followed by HAWT sex! Sooo perfect! Perfect love-making. :)

Can't wait to read what happens next!

Loving it! x
vision_mvision_m on June 13th, 2010 09:35 pm (UTC)
Finally these two idiots admitted their feeling even though it was with the help of Danneel and Bartha.
Hope they get through everything alive and well
Devi: sad deanasher_k on June 18th, 2010 02:48 am (UTC)
“This one’s for you, baby girl. I’ll love you always.”

I've read the whole story (twice), but I had to come back here and just say how much this line touched me. I was teary-eyed for hours after I read this chapter the first time, that memorial is just...wow. So, so...I don't even know. Amazing. Heartbreaking.

That goes for the majority of the story as a whole, incidentally, but, well, thank god for the staying power of J2.
firesign10firesign10 on March 28th, 2011 08:28 pm (UTC)
This series is just blowing me away!! Fabulous!