“This is slave labor,” Jared says with a smirk. He’s sitting up on the counter and swinging his feet back and forth. “Borderline kidnapping. A blatant exploitation of my unconditional love for you.”
“Jared,” Sherri says exasperatedly, cutting him a look. “You offered to come help bag groceries. Now get the hell off of the counter.”
“But what fun would it be if I didn’t bitch the whole time?” Jared asks sweetly. He hops off of the counter and leans against the end of the check stand.
“I don’t know if it’d be fun.” She redoes her ponytail and yawns. “But it’d be peaceful.”
A young mom and her toddler come up to the register and Jared makes funny faces at the kid while he bags their groceries. She giggles and tugs on her curly blonde pigtails.
“Bye, princess!” He calls once they’re all done at the check stand. The little girl gives him a high-five and her mom smiles warmly at Jared. He beams back at her and tucks his thumbs in the straps of his green grocer’s apron.
“So tell me why you’re working a double and cashiering, Miss Manager,” Jared says as he leans heavily against the counter again. “And more importantly, why I’m here bagging groceries instead of your paid employees.”
“Because there’s apparently something going around and half the night crew called in sick.” Sherri hides another yawn behind her hand. “And we’re stupidly understaffed.”
“You know I’m just giving you shit,” Jared says seriously. “I’m always around to – oh fuck my life.”
Jared’s eyes widen as he spots Jensen and the prim, uptight looking woman that must be his mother approaching his mother’s check stand. There’s a younger girl with strawberry blonde hair trailing behind them that has to be Mackenzie. Of all the cash registers in all the grocery stores in all the world, they choose this one. Jensen has his head down, feet shuffling as they draw closer.
“What is it?” Sherri asks, and Jared nudges her shoulder. She spots them and stands up a little straighter.
“Just my closeted boyfriend and his evangelic, homophobic mother heading straight for us,” Jared says uneasily, running his fingers through his hair.
“Oh. Has she met you?”
Jared shoots her an incredulous look and rolls his eyes.
“Sure,” he replies sarcastically. “Just the other night I was invited over for pot roast and ice cream sundaes, and then we all sang Kumbaya around the campfire in their backyard. No, she hasn’t met me.”
“You’re an asshole,” Sherri says simply.
“You’re an asshole,” he replies. “Oh shit, here they come. This is going to be so awkward. Be cool.”
“Good evening,” Sherri says once they walk up to the register. “Did you find everything okay?”
Jensen looks up and his eyes widen when he spots them. He looks back and forth, eyes darting over to his mother and back as his cheeks turn red. Jared gives him a reassuring smile.
“Jensen,” Donna says irritably. “Are you going to help or just stand there?”
Jensen jumps a little, tearing his eyes away from Jared as he unloads the shopping cart onto the conveyor belt. Mackenzie is reading the covers of all the tabloids. Donna snaps her fingers in her daughter’s general direction.
“Mackenzie,” she barks. “Will you stop reading that trash and help your brother? Apparently it’s too complicated a task for him to handle all by himself.”
Mackenzie rolls her eyes as soon as Donna turns her head and half-heartedly helps to unload the cart. Jensen drops a can of corn on the ground and squeezes his eyes shut before bending down to grab it.
“Watch what you’re doing, Jensen!” Donna chides. Jared can damn near see Jensen trembling from where he’s standing. He never thought Jensen was exaggerating about his family, but to see it first hand is heartbreaking. He wants to pull Jensen into his arms, but he can’t even acknowledge that they know each other, let alone their relationship. “I swear you make it a point to be embarrassing.”
Jensen swallows hard and looks away from Jared and Sherri like he’s ashamed.
“That’s okay,” Sherri cuts in, laughing awkwardly. She tries to catch Jensen’s eye but he steadfastly looks away. “Dented cans are half-price. Go ahead and drop a few more if you want.”
“That won’t be necessary. I’m sure I can manage to pay full price on a sixty cent can of corn.” Donna says as she takes her checkbook out of her purse. Sherri shoots Jared a look and rings the rest of their groceries up silently. Jared bags them as neatly as he can and stacks all the bags in the cart. “Jensen, will you stop fidgeting?”
“Your total is $89.57,” Sherri says quickly, like she’s trying to save Jensen. Donna scribbles out a check and hands it over.
“Do you need any help out with your bags?” Jared asks politely as he pushes the cart over to them. Jensen takes it and he jerks a little when their fingers brush. He refuses to look at Jared but he can still see the pain in Jensen’s eyes.
“I’m sure we can handle it,” Donna says snidely, slinging her purse over her shoulder. Jared nods and watches as Jensen silently pushes the cart towards the exit, shoulders hunched over like all he wants to do is curl into a little ball.
“Have a nice night,” Sherri says, and Donna doesn’t return the sentiment before following her silent children out of the store.
“What a bitch,” Sherri sneers as soon as the doors shut behind them. Her eyes go soft and sympathetic. “Poor Bean.”
“I don’t know what to do.” Jared feels tears sting the corners of his eyes. “I don’t know how to make it better.”
“You can’t, Tig,” Sherri says sadly. “You can’t change his family.”
She loops her arm around his torso and gets up on her toes to press a kiss to his temple. Jared clenches and unclenches his fists, fighting against the urge to run after Jensen and give him a hug.
They help a few more customers and Jared has to run and get a new loaf of whole grain bread after he distractedly drops a two-liter of soda on top of one. When the line slows, he leans against the counter again and stares at his shoes. His cell phone vibrates in his pocket and he extracts it to see one new text from Jensen. It simply reads I am so sorry.
Jared bites his lip and blinks rapidly as he replies. Don’t worry about it. You do what you have to. I’ll call you when I get home. <3
Jared lets out a harsh breath and runs his fingers through his hair. They catch on the tangles and he winces. His mom taps him on the shoulder and he looks up to see her handing him a package of sour ropes. He takes them and opens them with a pout, shoving two into his mouth and barely chewing.
As soon as Jared realized he was gay he told himself that he would never hide who he was. He would never be ashamed. He’s always stuck by it, even when he got teased for being the only out and proud eighth grader at their junior high.
But then again, he has a mother that is warm, accepting, and loving. She knows how precious life is, how very short it can be, and that it doesn’t do any good to waste it on pretending to be something you’re not.
But then he met Jensen. And he’s not hiding himself at all. He hasn’t changed anything about the way he acts. But he did think that when he got a boyfriend that he’d be able to shower him with affection. He figured they’d walk down the halls holding hands, that they’d kiss each other whenever they wanted.
He didn’t think that he would ever be with a boy and have to keep it a secret. He didn’t think it’d be so complicated.
But Jensen is worth keeping, however Jared can get him. They just can’t be themselves out in the open. Not here, anyway.
“Hey,” Jared says suddenly. He extracts another sour rope from the package as he gets an idea. “Let me borrow your car on Saturday.”
“Why?” Sherri blows her bangs out of her face. “What’s wrong with your car?”
“Uh, it’s a piece of shit and I’m afraid to take it out of city limits?” Jared replies. He throws a sour rope at her and she catches it, shoving it in her mouth.
“Fine, but it better have a full tank of gas when I get it back,” she says, and Jared nods.
He has an idea. And face it, his ideas are always awesome.
Jensen is lying in bed staring at the shadows on the ceiling when his phone vibrates on the nightstand, startling him from his thoughts.
It’s Jared’s name on the display and he thumbs it open eagerly. Guilt has been eating at him ever since he left the grocery store, but he hadn’t known what else to do.
“Hey,” Jensen says quietly. “Look, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what else – “
“Jen, calm down,” Jared cuts in. He sounds sleepy. “I’m not mad at you or anything. It’s not like you ignored me on purpose. Stop worrying about it.”
“Okay.” Jensen takes a deep breath and relaxes back against his bed. Jared is right. There’s nothing he can do about it now. “Why were you working at the store?”
“A bunch of people called in sick,” Jared yawns. “Mom called me in to help.”
“Oh.” Jensen bites his lip. “Tell her she can call me too, if she ever needs help.”
“Will do.” Jared yawns again and Jensen can vividly conjure up the image of what he looks like all sleepy and snug in his sheets.
“Are you in bed?” Jensen asks, and Jared lets out an affirmative hum. “Why don’t you go to sleep?”
“Rather talk to you.” His voice is sleepy and rough, syllables dripping off his tongue like thick honey. “You in bed?”
“Yeah,” Jensen says. He’s surprised to find his own voice a little rough as well, dropped an octave lower. He stretches out, one hand resting low on his stomach as the other holds the phone to his ear.
“Mm, wish you were here with me,” Jared breathes, and Jensen swallows hard. “Want you in my arms. Wanna kiss you.”
“I – I wanna be there too,” Jensen says softly as he closes his eyes. It’s not hard to picture himself in Jared’s bed with him, and he actually has to resist the urge to crawl out of the window and make it happen. “Wish I was.”
“Speaking of,” Jared rumbles. Jensen feels heat blossom low in his belly, warm and newly familiar. “We’re going out on Saturday. Picking you up at eleven. Claiming you all day.”
“Where are we going?” Jensen asks curiously. Jared lets out a rough chuckle that does nothing to quell the fire igniting in his veins.
“It’s a surprise. All you need to know is that I’m going to kiss you a lot,” Jared promises, and Jensen shuts his eyes tight as his dick stirs. Jared makes him so crazy, makes him stiff and hard in his shorts and Jensen doesn’t know how to deal with it. “Gonna kiss that spot on your neck that makes you shake.”
“Promise?” Jensen asks roughly, feeling bold. His hand travels down his stomach, fingers playing at the waistband of his boxers.
“Promise,” Jared says. “Now I’m gonna go to sleep before I say something stupid.”
“No,” Jensen pleads. “Say something stupid.”
“Night, Jensen,” Jared says after a long pause. Jensen resists the urge to let out a whimper of protest.
“Night,” Jensen sighs, flipping his phone shut when the call disconnects. He sets the phone on the nightstand and scrubs his hand over his face. His boxers are tented and his dick is throbbing.
He keeps one hand over his eyes as he slides the other hand into his boxers and wraps it around his erection. It’s not the first time he’s touched himself and thought of Jared, but it’s the first time he’s done it intentionally.
It’s the first time he’s ever let himself wonder what it would feel like to let Jared touch him. Not just casual brushes of his hands across his skin, but to touch him like this.
Jensen bites his lip and keeps his hand over his eyes as he arches up into his tight grasp. He thinks of Jared’s strong hands, of his pink lips and his tan skin. He thinks about the taut stretch of that skin over his stomach and the paler line of it where his pants slip down. He thinks about Jared’s warm eyes and his soft hair. He thinks about Jared’s slick lips on his skin, pressing in and sucking softly; thinks about his fingers digging into Jensen’s freckled shoulders.
He thinks about Jared.
It’s over quickly. He bites down on his palm as he shoots, coating his stomach with sticky fluid. He breathes heavily into the dark room and pulls his shirt over his head. He wipes off and crumples it into a ball before shoving it under his bed.
He presses his palms into his eye sockets as he comes down, chest heaving up and down in the moonlight.
He’s so fucked up and gone over this boy, and there’s no going back.
Jared pulls his mom’s sedan up to the curb with a screech at three minutes to eleven on Saturday morning. He’s already dialing Jensen’s number before he even comes to a full stop.
“Coming!” Jensen shouts. He hangs up before Jared can even get a word out. He chuckles and slumps down in the seat, sipping on his iced coffee as he waits. Jensen comes jogging up the street and nearly passes the car in his hurry.
He does a quick double take, obviously not expecting Sherri’s car, and runs around it to climb into the passenger seat. Jared hands him a coffee and Jensen stares down at it with his brows furrowed.
“Hey,” Jared laughs, reaching over to squeeze Jensen’s knee. “It’s coffee. You gonna stare at it or drink it?”
“I don’t drink coffee,” Jensen says. He pulls the wrapper off of the straw and brings it to his lips. He takes an experimental sip and licks his lips, making an approving noise before taking another drink. “Okay, now I drink coffee.”
“Oh god,” Jared groans. “You’re going to be bouncing off of the walls.”
Jensen doesn’t reply. He’s too busy holding his cup in both hands and slurping. Jared pulls away from the curb and navigates out of town. As soon as they hit a red light Jared leans over and cups Jensen’s chin, pulling his mouth away from the straw to give him a quick kiss.
“Oh hi.” Jensen blinks and looks around as he comes out of his coffee trance. “Where are we going?”
“Out of town,” Jared says simply. He grabs his sunglasses from the console and slips them on as he merges onto the freeway.
“No seriously,” Jensen says as he looks around again. “Where are we going?”
“No seriously,” Jared mimics, grinning over at his boyfriend. “I’m not telling.”
“Are we meeting up with the guys?” Jensen asks curiously, sipping at his drink again. Jared shakes his head.
“See, there’s this thing couples do sometimes,” Jared tells him. “I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it. It’s called going on a date. I thought we could give it a try.”
“You’re taking me on a date?” Jensen turns in his seat a little. “Where is this date taking place?”
“I will kick you out of this car, Jensen,” Jared warns. “Don’t tempt me.”
“I have a fear of the unknown!” Jensen squeaks. He slumps down in his seat and clutches his coffee to his chest.
“You love the unknown,” Jared says with a smirk. He turns up the radio and presses down on the gas, sending them speeding down the freeway as Jensen laughs in the passenger seat.
To his credit, Jensen lasts almost a whole hour before asking again.
“Okay no, seriously,” Jensen says once his coffee is all gone. “Where are you taking me? You could have warned me we were going on a road trip.”
“It’s not a road trip if we’re coming back the same day,” is all Jared says, chuckling when Jensen lets out a low growl. Jared reaches out to trace the curve of Jensen’s ear with his thumb, fingertips trailing along his jaw and down the side of his neck before falling away. Jensen looks over at him and lets out a soft sigh. He slumps down in his seat again and lets his hands fall into his lap.
“I have to pee!” Jensen exclaims an hour later, ten minutes after he starts squirming thanks to his shiny new caffeine-slash-sugar rush. Jared chuckles and takes the next exit, pulling into a gas station just off the freeway. Jensen goes to exit the car but Jared hits the lock button just as he’s reaching for the handle. “Jared!”
“I’m gonna require payment before I let you go,” Jared says with a little smirk. “Gotta kiss me first.”
Jensen throws himself over the console and presses his lips firmly against Jared’s, biting down on his bottom lip and tugging.
“Wow,” Jared breathes when Jensen pulls away. Their faces are an inch apart and Jensen pats at Jared’s chest and whines a little. “What?”
“I really have to pee,” Jensen admits, kissing Jared a little softer. Jared chuckles against his plush lips and unlocks the door. Jensen gives him one last peck before fleeing towards the restrooms.
Jared fills up the gas tank while he waits even though he doesn’t really need to yet. Gas is cheap here and this day is already going to make a dent in his meager checking account. He’s still doing the math in his head when Jensen comes out of the gas station with a white plastic bag in one hand and cup of coffee in the other.
“Fuck. I’ve created a monster,” Jared says to himself, rolling his eyes. Jensen walks by and Jared snatches the cup from his hand. Jensen lets out a squeak of protest. “You don’t need anymore coffee. It’ll give you a stomachache, and that would completely fuck up my plans for the day.”
“Then how come you can drink it?” Jensen asks when Jared takes a sip from the cup.
“Because I’ve had years to perfect my iron stomach.” Jared makes a face and smacks his lips at the coffee. “Besides, gas station coffee is the devil’s brew. If you’re good I’ll take you to a Starbucks later.”
“Fine.” Jensen walks around to climb in the passenger seat as Jared drops the coffee in the trash and gets in the driver’s seat. “I bought you sour ropes, but now I think I’m just going to eat them myself.”
“Aw, see,” Jared replies, biting back a smile. “I was just trying to look out for your well-being and now you’re being malicious.”
Jensen makes a big show of opening the package of sour ropes and slowly extracting one, dangling it over his open mouth before dropping it in and chewing noisily. Jared rolls his eyes amusedly and guides them back onto the freeway.
A few minutes later Jensen sets the half-eaten package of candy on Jared’s lap and taps his shoulder. Jared looks over to see Jensen sticking out his tongue. It’s dark blue with all the mixed dyes from the candy. He laughs and washes it down with a swig of Dr. Pepper.
“A boy after my own heart,” Jared says, and Jensen smiles at him. He doesn’t bother telling Jensen that he’s already won it.
Jared likes to think he already knows.
It’s only another twenty minutes or so before Jared is navigating off of the freeway again. Jensen twists in his seat and presses his forehead against the glass, knees jiggling up and down. Jared’s going to have to pound some serious sugar if he wants to catch up to his hyperactive boyfriend anytime soon.
Not that he’s complaining or anything.
Jared figures their destination is pretty obvious once they near the fairgrounds. The tops of the rides loom high in the sky, silhouetted by the bright sun. Jared can’t really gage Jensen’s reaction without looking at him, and he has to concentrate on parking in the lumpy field across the street.
When they exit the car the smell of fair hits Jared’s nose. It’s freshly cut grass, corndogs, cotton candy, farm animals, and summer all rolled up into one distinctive smell that promises hours of fun. That coupled with the noises – giddy shrieks, bells, whistles, and music – makes excitement pump through Jared’s veins.
“You – you brought me to the carnival?” Jensen says as he comes around to stand at Jared’s side. He’s staring up at the ferris wheel with wonder in his eyes and his mouth slightly agape.
“Yep!” Jared replies gleefully, throwing his arm around Jensen’s shoulder and pulling him in close. “And you know what the best part is?”
“What?” Jensen asks softly, still staring up at the rides as he unconsciously tangles his fingers in the back of Jared’s shirt.
“No one knows us here,” Jared whispers, his nose skimming Jensen’s temple as he speaks softly into his ear. “We can be whoever we want – act like whatever we want, and we won’t ever see these people again. We won’t have to answer to anyone.”
“You mean –” Jensen cuts himself off and pulls away. Jared shrugs and holds out his hand with a hopeful smile. Jensen looks down at it and then back up at Jared’s face. “You drove two and a half hours so you could hold my hand in public?”
“Uh.” Jared awkwardly lets his hand fall to his side as he clears his throat. His cheeks flush pink and he drags his toe across the dirt. “I drove for the carnival. The handholding thing is a bonus. But you don’t have to.”
Jensen smiles softly and then bites his lip as he looks around at all the people milling around the parking lot. He closes his eyes for a second and then meets Jared’s gaze, stepping forward and taking Jared’s hand. He threads their fingers together and smiles nervously, standing close to Jared with their joined hands hanging between their hips.
“Lead the way.” Jared grins as he pulls him towards the ticket booth. Jensen seems a little nervous. His palm is sweating and his eyes dart around. He’s slightly tense like he’s waiting to be yelled at.
Jared’s grin fades a little. He wants this day to be nothing but fun for Jensen. In no way should he feel uncomfortable at any point. Jared suppresses a sigh and lets go of Jensen’s hand once they reach the ticket counter to dig his wallet out of his back pocket. He pays for two tickets and two unlimited ride passes and they both hold their arms out for the attendant to put on their wristbands.
They enter the fair with Jared a few paces ahead of Jensen. He’s trying to give him room to breathe, but Jensen surprises him by catching up to him and taking his hand again.
“I know what you’re doing. Stop it,” Jensen chides as he swipes his thumb over the back of Jared’s hand. “I’m fine. Also, don’t even think you’re getting away with paying for everything tonight.”
“But – “
“Shh!” Jensen butts in, and Jared pouts. “Now, the only fair I’ve ever been to is a church fair and they pretty much suck compared to this. So, you’re gonna have to lead the way.”
“Well,” Jared starts, squeezing Jensen’s hand and getting up on his toes to look around. “I usually like to start with a snack.”
“Of course you do.”
“Shh!” Jared drags Jensen over to the food area. The already warm air is hotter there, thick with the scent of grease and fried dough. Jared takes in a deep breath. “What do you want? They have deep fried – well, deep fried everything really.”
Jensen wrinkles his nose and gets up on his toes, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looks around. His eyes land on a particular booth and his whole face lights up.
“Sno-cones!” He cries. Jared laughs as Jensen drags him over. He orders excitedly – ‘half red and half blue, please’ and bounces when he exchanges his money for his icy treat. He takes a bite of it and shivers, grinning up at Jared with blue teeth. “What do you want?”
“Something deep fried and terrible for me,” Jared replies. He scans the booths until he finds the one he wants and drags Jensen over.
“Deep fried Snickers bar?” Jensen asks with disgust evident in his voice. “Enjoy your coronary.”
“Oh, I will,” Jared says, letting go of Jensen’s hand to grab his wallet. Jensen smacks his hand away and hands over some money to the vendor, eyeing Jared threateningly. “Fine!”
Jared downs his deep fried candy bar and looks around, eyes widening when he spots another sign that’s very relevant to his interests. He wipes the powdered sugar from his mouth and tosses his stick and greasy, chocolate-covered paper wrapper in the trashcan.
“Holy shit. Are you kidding me? Deep fried s’mores on a stick?” Jared screeches. He even bounces a little. “My life is complete.”
“Oh no.” Jensen catches Jared by the elbow as he tries to run off. “You’re not eating that.”
“Why not?” Jared pouts and flicks his bangs out of his face. Jensen raises an eyebrow and smirks.
“If I can’t have gas station coffee, you can’t have that heart stopper,” Jensen tells him and he slides his hand down Jared’s forearm to take his hand again. “I’m just looking out for your well being.”
“Throwing my own words back in my face?” Jared beams at him and leans over to snag a bite of his sno-cone. “You’re coming along nicely.”
They stroll around the fairgrounds hand in hand to get a lay of the land as Jensen finishes his sno-cone. They end up in line for the Zipper after he throws his cup away. He shivers violently next to Jared, rolling his blue lips into his mouth. Jared glances over at him and raises an eyebrow.
“Little chilly, ice-pop?” Jared queries, and Jensen glares at him. He reaches over with the hand that was holding the sno-cone and puts it on Jared’s cheek. Jared jumps at the frigid touch and grabs Jensen’s hand. He slides it under his tee and places it flat against his warm skin. The cold touch makes him shiver a little but Jensen smiles gratefully. “Your lips are all blue.”
“Raspberry syrup,” Jensen chatters. Jared looks around and keeps both his hands over Jensen’s, trapping it against his stomach as he leans in. He moves slowly to give Jensen plenty of time to stop him. His eyes widen slightly but he makes no move to pull away.
Jared reaches up to touch his cheek and his thumb brushes the corner of Jensen’s cold mouth. Jared closes his eyes as butterflies flutter in his stomach. Their lips touch softly in the middle of a crowd of people and Jensen actually leans into it, cold fingers curling around Jared’s hip underneath his tee shirt.
Jared kisses him until his blue lips are warm – until the teenage girls behind them clear their throats and giggle because the gap in the line has gotten so big. Jared pulls away and grins at the girls, winking when Jensen laughs and buries his face in Jared’s neck.
Jared loops his arm around Jensen’s shoulders and Jensen’s arm instinctively goes around his waist. They close the gap in the line and Jensen rests his head on Jared’s shoulder, warmed up lips brushing the curve of his jaw.
They spend around two hours going on all the rides, but after Jared nearly hacks up his deep fried candy on the Gravitron they decide to take a break to play some carnival games. Jared proudly displays his complete lack of coordination, wasting dollar after dollar until he finally wins a goldfish. He stares at the little bag with the tiny fish in it with a raised brow for awhile before finally turning to Jensen.
“Why did I play for a goldfish?” Jared asks, and Jensen shrugs. “I don’t even want a goldfish.”
“I don’t know,” Jensen says. Jared huffs and looks around the area. He spots a little girl tossing her ping-pong balls towards the little fishbowls with a determined expression. Jared walks over and holds up his fish, gesturing over her head to her parents with the bag. They nod and Jared grins as he squats down next to her.
“You’re really good at this game,” he says. She looks over at him with a tiny pout.
“I’m trying to be.” She eyes Jared’s fish with obvious envy. Jared bites down a grin and holds out the bag.
“Well, you totally won me over,” Jared tells her. “And I guess you can have my fish if you promise to take good care of it.”
“I will!” She shrieks. Jared laughs as he hands over the bag. “Thanks!”
“You’re welcome,” he tells her, and she bounces over to her parents. They give Jared grateful smiles and herd her off to her next game. Jared smiles warmly, watching after them for a moment before he pats his knees and stands up.
Jensen is staring at him when he turns around and Jared’s smile fades.
“What?” He asks. “Something on my face?”
“No.” Jensen shakes his head a little. “Just – that was really nice.”
“Oh, I guess. She’s happy and I don’t have a fish to deal with,” Jared replies, shrugging his shoulders awkwardly. “It’s getting dark. Time for cotton candy?”
“First I have to kick your ass at a game,” Jensen says, rubbing his hands together and looking around speculatively. “Ah. There. I can totally knock those milk jugs over and win you that fluffy little bear.”
“Can’t,” Jared says smugly. “Bet you a dollar.”
“You’re on,” Jensen replies, jogging over to the booth and slapping down two dollars. The attendant gives him three baseballs and Jensen grabs one. He tosses it and it goes wide. Jared laughs and Jensen glares at him. The second ball gets a little closer but still misses.
“Admit defeat, Ackles!” Jared crows. “That dollar is mine. I wonder how I’m going to spend it. Hmm.” He makes a show up putting his finger to his pursed lips, forehead crinkled in concentration.
“Don’t get your heart set on that four-piece McNuggets just yet,” Jensen tells him. He picks up the last ball and turns to the side, narrowing his eyes and lining up the pitch. He lifts his knee up and everything before launching the ball as hard as he can. It hits the bottles dead center and they all go tumbling down.
Jensen launches his fists in the air and Jared blinks as the attendant pulls a fuzzy brown teddy bear off of the prize shelf. He hands it to Jensen who hands it over to Jared with a smarmy grin. Jared takes it and hugs it to his chest, tucking it under one arm before clasping his hands and bringing them up to his chin.
“Oh, look at that!” Jared says, perfecting a southern belle accent. “My big, strong man!”
Jared grabs Jensen by the front of his tee shirt and pulls him in. The teddy bear gets smashed between their chests as their lips meet. Jensen laughs against Jared’s mouth before pushing him back by the shoulder and looking at him fondly.
“Now, quick!” Jared says as he tucks the bear into the waistband of his jeans. “To the cotton candy!”
Jensen makes Jared upgrade to the large cotton candy as opposed to paying Jensen his dollar. The pink candy floss is bigger than Jared’s head and he shoves his face into the warm fluff as they leave the line, ripping off a huge bite.
The line for the ferris wheel is a little long. Everyone is sort of gravitating towards it now that night has completely fallen and the carnival is all lit up. Jensen presses up against Jared’s side in the line but Jared isn’t sure if it’s because he wants to be close or because of the slight chill in the air. Either way, Jared isn’t complaining. Jared wraps his arm casually around Jensen’s shoulders and lets his thumb slip under the sleeve of his tee shirt as they shuffle forward.
He keeps tearing off little bits of fluff and feeding one to Jensen and then himself. Jensen seems relaxed now, content to lean heavily against Jared out in the open. Now it’s Jared that’s glancing around and keeping an eye out. He knows all it would take is one snide comment to ruin this evening, and Jared thanks his lucky stars that it seems to be a tolerant day at the fair.
They settle into their ferris wheel car all smashed together with Jared’s teddy bear nestled between them. Jared puts his arm over Jensen’s shoulder and pulls him in close as the attendant secures them in. The car pulls forward and Jensen settles against Jared’s side.
“If you rock this thing, I’ll kick your ass,” Jensen warns as he slides his hand under Jared’s shirt to rest against his stomach. He seems to enjoy that spot. Jared sighs happily as Jensen’s fingers lazily trace the slight definition of his abs.
“I won’t rock it,” Jared promises. His fingers dip under the collar of Jensen’s shirt to stroke along his collarbone. He likes that spot almost as much as Jensen likes touching his stomach. There’s a freckle there that’s just a little bigger than the others and Jared likes to get his mouth on it whenever he can. They’re quiet for the first few rotations of the ride, too busy taking in their surroundings and each other to speak. “We’re almost officially a cliché.”
“How?” Jensen turns his head to look at Jared.
“Well, we’re capping off a romantic evening at the fair by riding the ferris wheel together,” Jared tells him as his fingertips stroke up and down the side of Jensen’s neck.
“Okay,” Jensen replies, cheeks flushing a little. “How is that almost a cliché?”
“It’s not officially a cliché unless you kiss me at the top.” Jared smirks and Jensen bites his lip. The ride goes around for another rotation and then screeches to a halt with Jared and Jensen’s car stopped at the highest point. “Okay. That was an eerie coinci – “
Jared’s words are lost against Jensen’s lips as he’s pulled in for a kiss. Jared parts his lips against Jensen’s and his heart pounds in his chest as they lick into each other’s mouths.
“Now there just needs to be fireworks,” Jared mumbles against Jensen’s slick lips. He lifts his hand and shoots his fingers out, shaking his hand slightly. Jensen huffs and Jared grins. He lets out a little chuckle before putting his hand on Jensen’s cheek and kissing him again.
They get so lost in the kiss that it wouldn’t matter if fireworks were exploding right over their heads or not.
It’s not like they would notice them anyway.
The drive home seems to fly by whereas the drive there seemed to crawl. Maybe the difference is that now their destination isn’t a mystery and he’s not bouncing in his seat from too much caffeine.
This time he’s lazing in the passenger seat with his fingers loosely tangled with Jared’s on the center console. His eyelids are drooping but he’s not really tired; just happy and relaxed.
Jared exits the freeway and as they get closer to their neighborhood Jensen begins to fret. The day has been tremendously perfect and he doesn’t want it to end.
“Do you want to come over for a little bit, or do you have to go home?” Jared asks, like he’s reading Jensen’s thoughts and voicing his dilemma. Jensen bits his lip and looks at the glowing clock on the dashboard. It’s nearly midnight. Jensen knows he should go home. He told his father he’d be home really late, but he’s pretty sure their definitions of really late don’t match up.
Oh well. He’s pretty sure they don’t care enough to wait up for him anyway. Sometimes he thinks the phrase ‘out of sight, out of mind’ was coined for the way his parents feel about him.
“I’ll come over.” Jensen is completely unwilling for the night to end. Jared nods and Jensen lets out a breath.
Jared’s house is dark when he pulls the car into the driveway, and the dogs start barking as soon as they step onto the porch. Jared shushes them as he unlocks the door and Jensen catches Sadie by the collar when she attempts to escape. Again.
“You don’t know how good you got it, girl,” he tells her as he drags her back inside and shuts the door. She lets out a yip and licks across Jensen’s face. He scrunches his nose and wipes the dog drool off of his skin with the back of his hand. Jared flips on the light and whistles at the back door. Both dogs go running and Jared lets them outside.
“You can stay out there awhile,” Jared tells them as he shuts the door. “Little assholes.”
“Where’s your mom?” Jensen asks when he notices how quiet and dark the house is. Jared stretches his arms over his head and runs his fingers through his hair.
“Margarita night at her friend Shelly’s,” Jared replies. “As far as I know she’s crashing in the guest room over there.”
“Oh.” Jensen fidgets awkwardly and Jared gestures over his shoulder towards the hall. He disappears into his bedroom and Jensen has no choice but to follow. It looks a little cleaner than it did the last time he saw it, and Jared turns on the TV as he shuts the door behind him. He turns off the light, leaving the room lit only by the eerie blue glow of the television.
“This okay?” Jared asks, like he’s just realizing the situation might appear a little awkward. “I’m sort of tired. Thought maybe we could just catch the end of SNL.”
“No, it’s fine,” Jensen replies, propping himself up against the wall as he toes off his shoes. Jared does the same and lies down on his bed, scooting over to the wall and leaving the other half empty. Jensen crawls in next to him but he doesn’t face the television. He opts to look at Jared’s profile – sleepy and beautiful in the dim, flickering light.
“Did you have fun today?” Jared turns on his side to gather Jensen in his arms. Their faces are so close, and Jensen feels a shiver run down his spine as Jared slips his hands under the back of his shirt to rest on bare skin.
“Yeah,” Jensen breathes. “Thanks, Jared. It was amazing. I – I never thought I could have that.” He buries his face in Jared’s neck, breathes in, and presses himself closer to Jared. He swallows against the sudden swell of emotion rising up in him; the same sensation he always gets when he’s wrapped up in Jared like this. “I never thought I could have you.”
Jared’s hand pauses slightly in its path up Jensen’s back, but it quickly regains momentum. It travels up under the neck of his shirt. His fingers tangle in Jensen’s hair as his shirt rides up and exposes his skin to the cool air.
“I didn’t think I could ever have you either,” Jared confesses. He pulls back a little to look into Jensen’s eyes. “But we have each other now. You’ll always have me.”
Jensen blinks and his heart begins to thunder against his ribcage. The only reaction that comes to mind is to press their lips together, so that’s what he does. This kiss is different than the others, more desperate and needy. He clutches Jared to him, fingertips digging into the hard muscle and soft skin of Jared’s back.
Jared rolls Jensen onto his back, settles himself on top of him and kisses him harder, tongues tangling and licking. Jensen sucks Jared’s bottom lip into his mouth and bites down a little before releasing it. Jared trails his swollen lips along Jensen’s stubbled jaw and down to his neck, swirling his tongue around and sucking kisses along his skin. He’s being careful not to leave any marks, using more tongue than teeth. Jensen whimpers and his hips jerk of their own accord.
Jared tugs the collar of Jensen’s shirt down to kiss and suck at the line of his collarbone, teeth barely scraping against skin. Jensen lets out a soft moan and Jared shakes in his arms. They kiss again, wetter and messier than ever before. His dick is hard as a rock in his jeans and he instinctively rolls his hips against Jared’s, groaning at the sudden friction as Jared presses down to meet him. Jared moves his mouth to the other side of Jensen’s neck and his talented lips do things that make him shake with desire.
Jensen squeezes his eyes shut, suddenly overwhelmed by it all. It’s so good, all this pleasure coursing through him. It all comes down to the desperate ache in his groin that makes him shake and whine underneath Jared’s strong body.
“Jared, I want – oh, I need,” Jared makes a soft humming sound and bites softly at Jensen’s collarbone. “Please, Jared. Touch me.”
Jared freezes and his head jerks up so he can look Jensen in the eye. He’s panting and his hair is sticking up in all directions as he stares at Jensen with wide eyes. It’s hard for Jensen to tear his eyes away from Jared’s mouth, all red and swollen, but he manages to meet his gaze.
“Jensen, I –“ Jared starts, cupping Jensen’s cheek and swiping his thumb over Jensen’s puffy lips. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” Jensen breathes, resisting the urge to roll his hips up again. “Thought about it. I – want it.”
Jared licks his lips and nods shakily. Time seems to slow down as he puts his hand on Jensen’s shirt and pulls it up to expose his flat belly and chest, heaving up and down with each desperate breath. Jared’s hand is shaking as he slides it down Jensen’s stomach to the waistband of his jeans, and Jensen’s glad to know he isn’t the only one that’s scared. It’s comforting to know he affects Jared just as much as Jared affects him.
Jared tries to slide his hand into Jensen’s jeans but they’re too tight. Jensen squirms and Jared puts his hand over his face, chuckling nervously as he props himself up over Jensen. This time he undoes the button on his pants and slowly pulls down the zipper. Jensen doesn’t look down, instead choosing to focus on Jared’s face. He’s so terrified but he wants this, no question. Jared cups his erection through his underwear and Jensen gasps, fingers tangling in the rumpled sheets.
“You have to tell me if you want me to stop,” Jared says shakily. Jensen reaches up to put his hand on Jared’s chest and digs his fingertips in.
“Don’t.” Jensen looks up at Jared with pleading eyes. “Don’t stop.”
Jared nods and leans down to press a soft, comforting kiss to Jensen’s mouth as his hand dips into his underwear. His long fingers curl firmly around Jensen’s dick and he whimpers, crying out into Jared’s mouth as he arches his back.
Jared lifts himself up again and his own erection presses into Jensen’s hip. He moves his hand in slow, firm strokes along Jensen’s dick and Jensen curls his fingers around Jared’s wrist as it moves up and down.
“Feel good?” There is a small smile playing at Jared’s lips as he watches Jensen’s face. He nods and lets out a choked moan as the pleasure grows. Good is a massive understatement. Jared’s hands on him like this feels incredible, better than anything he ever could have imagined.
Jared looks away from Jensen’s face and down, letting his gaze travel to where he’s touching Jensen. He wants to look too but he can’t tear his eyes away from Jared’s face. He looks enthralled, hungry even. Jared dips his head a little but then jerks back up and bites his bottom lip. He lets go of Jensen’s dick and he lets out a whimper as the amazing friction stops. Jared touches the sticky head, fingers gathering the fluid leaking from the tip. He brings his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean, getting the taste of Jensen on his tongue. Jensen moans softly and squeezes his eyes shut as pleasure crackles up his spine.
“Tastes good,” Jared says. Jensen throws his arm over his eyes as Jared starts stroking him again. “Hey, look at me.”
Jensen pulls his arm back and his eyelids flutter open to see Jared watching him. Jensen tenses and his balls tighten as his shoulders curl inward. He cries out and reaches up to clutch at Jared’s shoulders.
“Let go, Jensen,” Jared breathes. His voice is hot against the side of Jensen’s neck. “I’ve got you.”
Jensen looks up into Jared’s gorgeous eyes, sees the trust and adoration and desire in them, and lets go. It’s like the rubber band being stretched low in his belly was just released, pleasure and heat exploding outwards until he feels it in his fingers and toes. He cries out and buries his face in the sweaty curve of Jared’s neck, clutching Jared’s wrist as he gently strokes him through the aftershocks. He can feel his come on his belly, more than there’s ever been before, and he whimpers when Jared’s touch becomes too much on his oversensitive skin.
Jared pulls his hand away and wipes it on the sheet before wrapping his arm around Jensen’s shoulders and guiding him back down to the bed. Jensen doesn’t even remember attempting to sit up.
“You’re gorgeous,” Jared murmurs, and softly kisses Jensen’s panting mouth. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Jensen rasps. He finally begins to relax against the bed when his hips stop jerking. He’s still trembling all over, but it’s nice. “That felt good.”
Jared smiles and lies down on his side, stretched out along the length of Jensen’s body. He runs his fingers down Jensen’s flank and across his hip and it’s white hot points of pressure against Jensen’s sensitive skin. His finger travels through the mess of come on his belly and Jensen’s eyes widen as he brings it to his mouth to taste it. Jensen feels his cheeks flush red-hot at the sight.
“Does – is that good?” He asks curiously. Jared looks at him, pulls his finger free and trails it through the sticky fluid again.
“Not bad.” He licks his bottom lip. “You’re sweeter than me.”
Jensen furrows his brow slightly and looks at Jared askance when he brings his finger up to Jensen’s mouth. He closes his eyes and parts his lips, closing them around Jared’s finger when it slips inside. He sucks the taste of himself from Jared’s skin. It’s bitter and a little sweet, but Jared’s right – it’s not bad.
He opens his eyes to see Jared biting his lip and watching him with hooded eyes. He tentatively sucks on the tip of his finger and then bites down gently before releasing it. Jared leans in to kiss him and Jensen can feel the outline of Jared’s dick pressing against his hip.
Jensen kisses Jared back and lets a breath out through his nose. He wants to make Jared feel as good as he did.
Jensen places a shaky hand on Jared’s stomach and slips it down until the tips of his fingers dip under the waistband of his jeans. Jared breaks the kiss and gently takes Jensen’s wrist, stilling it.
“You don’t have to,” Jared mumbles against Jensen’s lips, and Jensen swallows hard. He tugs his wrist free and reaches up to undo Jared’s pants.
“I know I don’t.” Jensen tries to keep his voice steady. He wants to do this, but he can’t help being nervous. “I want to.”
He keeps their foreheads pressed together and their gazes locked. Jared’s breath is hot against his lips as he dips his hand into Jared’s underwear and wraps it around his dick. It’s big, hot and heavy in Jensen’s hand. It’s probably not that much bigger than his own, but the angle is all weird and he just feels huge and slippery-slick with the fluid leaking steadily from the tip.
He also feels really, really good in Jensen’s grip.
“Oh god,” Jared breathes, and clutches at Jensen’s bicep. “Shit, Jensen. I’m not even gonna – “
Jensen lowers his gaze to see the way his hand looks moving up and down, the red tip of Jared’s dick slipping in and out of the tight curl of his fingers. The image makes Jensen gasp and he presses his mouth under the curve of Jared’s jaw, licking and sucking and scraping his teeth. He’s leaving the marks Jared couldn’t, leaving little bruises that Jared can wear proudly enough for the both of them.
Jared is loud – whimpering and moaning and making all these little noises that make Jensen’s dick twitch with renewed interest.
“So good,” Jared pants against Jensen’s cheek. “Gonna come, Jen.”
“Do it,” Jensen breathes. He pulls back to watch Jared’s face as his orgasm hits. His face scrunches up and his eyes open so wide it’s almost comical; but he still looks beautiful, lips swollen and skin glistening with sweat. His come slicks Jensen’s hand and it’s hot and sticky as it runs down his wrist. He loosens his grip and slows his strokes, just like Jared did for him, moving his hand lazily up and down until Jared grips his wrist and stops him.
Jared flops onto his back and Jensen rolls onto his side, mirroring their previous positions. Jensen pulls his hand out of Jared’s pants and looks down at the pearly strings of come coating his fingers. He brings his hand to his face and licks a bit of it from his palm, testing it on his tongue.
“You’re right,” Jensen comments. “I am a little sweeter. You taste good, though.”
“Oh god,” Jared groans, covering his face with his hands and chuckling. “You’re gonna fucking kill me.”
Jensen grins and leans over Jared to grab a dirty shirt off of the floor. He wipes off his hand and then his stomach before dropping the shirt again. He lies on his back and fixes his pants as Jared does the same. They roll towards each other and meet in a sweet kiss, fingers curling into each other’s hair.
“Mm, you good?” Jared asks as he bumps their noses together playfully. Jensen nods and kisses the bow of Jared’s upper lip. “Yeah, you are.”
Jensen snorts and buries his face in Jared’s neck, suddenly feeling giddy. Jared laughs and rubs Jensen’s back as he kisses him languidly.
“Wish you could stay here,” Jared says. That’s when Jensen’s eyes catch on the clock on Jared’s nightstand and make note of the time. He clutches Jared tighter, like he’s afraid he’ll suddenly disappear.
“Five more minutes,” Jensen mumbles against Jared’s forehead. Jared smirks against Jensen’s jaw and rolls them so Jensen is lying on top of him.
“I can do five more minutes,” Jared breathes, and Jensen dips down to press their lips together again.
Jared sleeps in on Sunday mornings. It’s tradition. His mom lets the dogs out for him and he drools into his pillow to his heart’s content.
That is, unless his cell phone goes off.
He cracks an eye open and sighs as his hand shoots out to grab his phone. He opens it and blinks blearily at the display while he waits for it to come into focus. It’s a new text from Jensen and Jared furrows his brow as he reads it.
I’m at church. Been thinking. Can I come over after?
“Because that doesn’t sound ominous or anything,” Jared mumbles to himself. His stomach drops slightly as he replies yeah, sure with a shaky thumb.
Jared isn’t sure why he’s so nervous about the text. He and Jensen have been doing well, considering the circumstances, but the previous night might have changed things. Jensen seemed fine when Jared dropped him off, but a lot can change overnight.
Jared gets out of bed, too antsy to go back to sleep. Taking a shower and brushing his teeth doesn’t help qualm his sudden nerves, and he drops his Eggo on the floor. He grips the counter, shuts his eyes, and takes a deep breath as Harley eats the abandoned waffle.
There’s a knock on the door followed by the obnoxious barking of his dogs. He wipes his hands on his thighs and runs his fingers through his damp hair as he sends the dogs to their beds and goes to answer it.
Jensen is on the other side in a pair of pressed khakis and a light blue button down, hair neatly gelled and glasses perched on his nose. He looks adorable and Jared’s heart clenches.
“Hey,” Jensen says as he steps inside. Jared tries to reply but it sort of comes out as a nervous squeak, and he squeezes his eyes shut as he closes the door. “So, I –“
“If this is about last night, we can go back,” Jared blurts out. His eyes widen and he slaps his palm over his mouth. Jensen furrows his brow and tilts his head to the side. “I mean, we can slow down.”
“What are you talking about?” Jensen asks curiously. “Last night was amazing. I – well, really enjoyed last night.”
A familiar blush stains his cheeks and Jared lets out a cleansing sigh. He rolls his shoulders back and heads straight for the kitchen to shove a frozen waffle into the toaster now that he’s suddenly regained his appetite.
“Your text scared me,” Jared confesses as Jensen follows him into the kitchen.
“Oh, sorry. It wasn’t meant to,” Jensen tells him, reaching out to touch Jared’s wrist. “I’m not freaking out over what we did.”
“Good. Because I probably wouldn’t mind doing it again sometime,” Jared replies. He smirks and licks some butter from his thumb as he sets it and the syrup on the counter.
“I probably wouldn’t mind it either,” Jensen mumbles, looking up at Jared from under his lashes. Jared sort of wants to drag him in his room right now, but he refrains.
“So, uh.” he furrows his brow and stares down at the counter. “You said you’d been thinking. What about?”
“Just – I was sitting in church thinking about how my life is changing,” Jensen says as he runs his fingers through his hair. Jared grabs his waffle and smears it with butter and syrup before folding it in half like a taco. “I mean, for the better. But it’s changing fast.”
“It is.” Jared shoves half of the waffle in his mouth and Jensen raises an eyebrow as he chews the monstrous bite. He swallows and washes it down with some juice. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Jensen shrugs and Jared nods casually. It’s important that he not make a big deal out of this. Jensen bites his lip nervously and Jared tilts his head to the side. His expression softens and he sets his juice down before stepping forward to cup Jensen’s chin in his fingers.
“You can talk to me about anything,” Jared says seriously, lifting Jensen’s chin. “You know that.”
“Okay,” Jensen replies, eyes shining as he meets Jared’s gaze. “Thanks for getting my chin sticky, by the way.”
Jared rolls his eyes and leans in to lick the syrup from Jensen’s skin, getting it nice and clean before pulling away. Jensen smiles fondly and leans in to kiss Jared’s mouth, reaching up to poke at his neck.
“Um, do these hurt?” Jensen asks. Jared furrows his brow. “I didn’t mean to bruise you.”
“Huh?” Jared runs over to the mirror by the door. Somehow he missed the hickeys littering his skin when he was brushing his teeth. He runs his fingers over the purple marks and grins widely. “Sweet!”
Sadie barks at the back door and scratches at the glass with her paw. Jared rolls his eyes and gestures for Jensen to follow him. Jensen nods and walks over with him, standing off to the side as Jared opens the door and the dogs go tearing outside. It’s nice outside, sunny with a slight breeze, and Jared walks out into the grass.
The dogs take off to their side of the yard and Jared and Jensen head over towards the tree, plopping down in the grass as soon as they hit the shade. Jensen takes off his shiny leather dress shoes and socks and sets them aside before undoing the cuffs of his dress shirt. He looks more relaxed by the moment and Jared smiles. He can’t help but to lean in and cup Jensen’s cheek, kissing his lips tenderly.
“So what were you thinking about?” Jared asks softly. He kisses him again before sitting back in the grass. Jensen smiles and fiddles with his bracelet.
“That, actually,” Jensen says, squinting slightly against the sun as he looks up to meet Jared’s gaze. “You.”
“Good things, I hope.” Jared chuckles nervously and swallows hard. Jensen looks at him for a long moment, utterly silent and still, and Jared fidgets.
“Yeah,” Jensen finally breathes, looking down at his hands and furrowing his brow. “Like I said – things are changing. I’ve been thinking about that, and about the past. Just – ever since I was younger, what I believed in my heart hasn’t matched up with what I was told to believe. And I thought there was something wrong with me because of that.”
Jared wants to close the few inches of space between them and drag Jensen into his arms, but this is important. He needs to let him get it out.
“But there isn’t,” Jensen tells him. He bites his lip and sighs before continuing. “But before – I didn’t have anything worth fighting for. So I just let myself be unhappy, pretending to be something I wasn’t because that’s what was expected of me. I had everything to lose and nothing to gain.”
Jared swallows hard and digs his hands into the grass. He hates to think of all the pain Jensen has silently suffered through for years. He thinks of the sad, agonizingly shy boy he met nearly three months ago and realizes just how much Jensen has flourished since then. It’s sort of amazing when he stops to think about it.
“But then we moved. And I thought it would just be more of the same, you know?” Jensen’s voice is shaking slightly with emotion, cheeks flushing pink, and Jared listens like his life depends on it. “But then there was this guy. He was loud and beautiful and sort of crazy, and when I met him he had mashed potatoes in his hair.”
Jared lets out a tiny gasp and Jensen smiles bashfully before his face goes serious again.
“And he honestly terrified me. He made me feel things I was convinced I’d never feel, things I had been telling myself were wrong for so long that I’d sort of started to believe it,” Jensen gets out in a rush. Then he breathes in deep and releases it slowly as he hooks his thumb under his bracelet. “But the more time I spent with this guy, the less sad I was. I smiled, I laughed, and I had fun. It was like, I don’t know – my heart felt light for the first time. He helped me realize that my life is mine to live and not anyone else’s. So I decided to take a chance, and I kissed him.”
Jared swallows thickly and blinks against the sting in his eyes. His heart is pounding and the sounds of his dogs barking barely registers. He breathes deep and smells grass and sunshine along with the faint smell of decaying wood from their tree. There’s this entire world spinning around him, but all that matters at this moment is Jensen.
“Jared, when I kissed you? God, it was incredible. That’s when I knew that I had to do whatever makes me happy,” Jensen tells him, letting out a choked laugh. “And that’s really what this comes down to – what this is all about. I have to make my own choices.”
Jared can’t wipe the grin off of his face. Jensen gets it. He understands.
“I see the way you look at me sometimes,” Jensen says a little more quietly. He ducks his head and Jared furrows his brow. “Like you’re afraid I’m going to disappear. And I can’t blame you.” Jensen lifts his head to shyly meet Jared’s gaze. “That’s why I wanted to tell you all of this. I want to be with you, Jared. I’m going to be with you. It might be scary at times, and maybe a little overwhelming at others, but what we have makes me happy. I wanted you to know that I’m committed to this – to you. You don’t have to look at me like I’m going to disappear because I’m not going to.”
“God, Jensen – “ Jared blinks against the unshed tears swelling in his eyes.
He surges forward and wraps his arms around Jensen’s neck, pressing their mouths together passionately. Jensen laughs against Jared’s grin as he topples backwards into the grass. Jared lands on top of Jensen with an oomph and props himself up on his elbows over him. Jensen wraps his arms around Jared’s torso and lets his hands skim up the back of his shirt.
“I’m proud of you,” Jared says softly, the tip of his nose brushing Jensen’s.
“I’m proud of myself,” Jensen confesses before pressing a soft kiss to Jared’s jaw. “That was sort of an intense talk, huh? It felt good to say it out loud, though.”
“Good,” Jared replies happily. “And I mean, I was listening but honestly all I got out of that is that you think I’m beautiful.”
He grins widely, letting his tongue peek through his slightly uneven teeth to let Jensen know he’s kidding. It helps to lighten the mood, shifting it from intense to playful.
“Like you didn’t know that already.” Jensen smirks and lets his head fall back to the ground.
“You’re sort of beautiful too,” Jared tells him. Jensen smiles, green eyes bright and pink lips stretched over perfect teeth. Jared still isn’t over the freckles on his nose. “Okay, stupidly beautiful. Like, make me fall off of lunch tables and land in meatloaf beautiful.”
“That’s what you get for making a spectacle of yourself,” Jensen chides playfully. Jared raises an eyebrow and tickles Jensen’s sides with mischief in his eyes. Jensen narrows his eyes but then starts laughing and pushing at Jared’s shoulders.
The dogs come over to inspect the commotion; jumping on top of Jared and making his elbows slip out from under him. Jared and Jensen’s foreheads knock together and they groan and laugh at the same time.
Sadie and Harley lick all over their faces and Jensen can’t stop laughing. Jared just takes his licks to the cheek and stares fondly at Jensen.
This day is shaping up to be pretty good.
Onto Part 7.