Jensen wakes up exhausted.
He’s sprawled out on his stomach with his head half buried under a fluffy pillow. His shirt is rucked up all the way under his armpits from all his tossing and turning, and there’s a sour taste in his mouth. His eyes are swollen and sore and he squeezes them shut again. He feels clammy and gross, too hot in his clothes and blankets.
There’s a soft touch on the bare skin of his back and Jensen sighs. Last night comes flooding back to him and he swallows, unwilling to move. Jared’s fingers are tracing indistinguishable patterns on his back, moving in swirls and circles and zigzags in a touch as light as a butterfly’s wings. It’s comforting.
“Hey,” Jensen rasps out. His voice is deep and rough. Jared’s hand stills before his fingers spread outward and his palm presses against his skin.
“You’re alive,” Jared replies airily. “I was beginning to worry.”
“Times’ it?” Jensen mumbles as he rolls onto his back and rubs his aching eyes. Jared is shirtless and upon further inspection also pantsless, clad only in a pair of boxer briefs. Jensen takes a moment to appreciate the sight of all that tan skin, but he’s in no state to act on it.
“One,” Jared replies. He’s sitting up against the wall, and Jensen blinks.
“In the afternoon?” He asks, and Jared nods. “I slept for sixteen hours?”
“You needed it,” Jared says simply. Jensen stares up at him.
“You didn’t leave the entire time, did you?” Jared shrugs and wrinkles his nose a little.
“I got up to go to the bathroom, but I even shook you a little first to make sure you were out out,” he tells him. “We’ve got to get you a TV in here. And I hope you don’t mind the lack of clothes. It was sort of stifling.”
“Jared, I – “ He cuts himself off and turns his face into the pillow to mask his embarrassment. He still feels so fragile and weird – scared and nervous and sad and relieved and grateful all at once.
“Hey.” Jared’s voice is pitched low and comforting instead of playful. He lies down next to Jensen again and pulls softly at his shoulder until Jensen turns to face him. He feels boneless and sleepy, which is ridiculous considering how long he just slept.
Jared’s hands go for the hem of Jensen’s shirt, tugging it up a little and giving him a questioning look. Jensen furrows his brow but nods and lifts his arms up as Jared tugs off his shirt. Next he pushes the covers down and undoes the button of Jensen’s jeans, pushing them down slightly. Jensen’s pulse skyrockets suddenly.
“What’re you – “
“Don’t worry,” Jared says calmly. He reaches behind Jensen to pull his jeans over the curve of his ass and down. “It’s hot in here. That’s all.”
Jensen nods and kicks his pants off, leaving him in as little as Jared. It’s thrilling and a little unsettling, but at the same time it’s comforting. Jared’s eyes sweep across his body as his hand slides across his bare chest until he finds his pulse. Jared leans down to press his lips to the spot as his hand slides across Jensen’s stomach. He trails soft kisses up Jensen’s neck to his mouth and presses their lips together softly.
There’s nothing sexual about what Jared is doing but it makes Jensen shake in entirely different ways.
He returns Jared’s kiss and lets their lips linger against each other’s for a few moments before Jared pulls away. He lies on his side and stretches one arm out against the bed as he uses the other to pull Jensen in. A soft gasp escapes Jensen’s lips as their bare chests press together, bare legs tangling. Jared keeps his arm locked around Jensen’s shoulders and Jensen lets his arm slip around Jared’s slim waist to feel all that warm, bare skin under his fingertips.
Jensen gets what Jared is doing. He feels so close to Jared like this, barely anything separating them. He feels safe and warm, well cared for. His eyes droop again.
“You can go back to sleep,” Jared whispers into his ear before pressing a soft kiss to the tip of it.
“I already slept so much,” Jensen gets out around a yawn. He sags against Jared’s body, feeling more relaxed by the second.
“Right.” Jared’s lips ghost across Jensen’s sore jaw. “So what’s a few more hours?”
“You don’t have to stay,” Jensen offers, but he doesn’t know how he would react if Jared pulled away from him now.
“Yeah, but I like watching you sleep,” Jared replies. Jensen can feel him smile against his cheek. “It doesn’t make me feel weird or creepy at all.”
“Stalker,” Jensen mumbles, and he falls asleep before Jared is even done laughing.
When Jensen wakes up again a few hours later, Jared finally makes him get out of bed. He leads him into the bathroom and tosses some of his own pajamas on the counter because he really doesn’t want to have to deal with Jensen’s duffle bag right now. He pulls on a pair of ratty sweats and leaves Jensen to shower before jogging out towards the kitchen because dear god, he needs food.
Jensen wanders out a little while later with his towel dried hair sticking up in all directions and his glasses perched on his nose. He walks into the kitchen with one eyebrow raised.
“What are you doing?” He asks. Jared hisses as he gets a little too close to the waffle maker. He didn’t put a shirt on and the World’s Best Mom apron he’s wearing does little to protect his skin.
“I’m making banana nut waffles!” Jared declares jovially, and Jensen tilts his head to the side.
“Does Eggo make banana nut waffles?” Jensen inquires. Jared shoots him a mock glare.
“Mom made the batter and left it in the fridge. I’m perfectly capable of pouring it into a waffle maker.” Harley wanders into the kitchen and sticks his head in the trashcan, digging around for a bit before extracting a charcoal black waffle. Jared shouts and throws a spoon at him and he drops it before retreating. Jensen looks back at Jared with an amused smirk. “After a few practice rounds. Shut up! I don’t see you making breakfast!”
“Because it’s four in the afternoon,” Jensen supplies, and Jared stares at him blankly. He points towards the living room with a wooden mixing spoon.
“Out of my kitchen,” he says threateningly. Jensen holds his hands up as he retreats.
When Jared heads into the living room with two full plates of fattening breakfast food Jensen is sitting on the couch and staring blankly ahead. Jared sets the plates down on the table and nudges Jensen’s foot.
“Hm?” Jensen says distractedly, shaking his head a little and looking up at Jared. “Oh, it looks great.”
“Jen,” Jared says softly. He sits down next to Jensen and takes his hand. He threads their fingers together and squeezes. “How are you doing?”
“I – I’m okay.” Jensen looks down at their joined hands and then over at Jared. “Just processing, I guess.”
“Yeah.” Jared leans in and kisses the bridge of Jensen’s nose. “Process with some waffles in you. I know you haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday.”
Jensen nods and they break apart to eat their food. Jared puts something mindless on the television and when they’re done they leave their sticky plates on the coffee table. Jared slumps against the couch and pats his bare belly.
“Are you ever going to put on a shirt?” Jensen asks. He sounds only mildly curious.
“Hey, you live here now,” Jared says, trying to keep his voice casual. “Shirts are reserved for guests only.”
“I see,” Jensen says, biting his bottom lip a little. “I guess I could learn to deal with that.”
“Does my brute manliness offend you or something?” Jared asks playfully as he flexes his sinewy muscles. Jensen cracks a small smile and lets his eyes drift across Jared’s torso.
“No.” Jensen lets out a soft chuckle and rubs the back of his neck. “It’s just – I really like your whole, like, stomach and chest area. I’m trying to mope over here and you’re making it difficult.”
“Moping is prohibited,” Jared stays sternly. “Ogling your boyfriend’s stomach, however, is strongly encouraged.” Jared leans over and lifts up Jensen’s shirt to expose his stomach. “I don’t know, I think yours is cuter than mine. It has little freckles.”
“Shut up,” Jensen mumbles, and his cheeks turn pink as he tries to push his shirt down. “Yours is better.”
“Freckles,” Jared repeats as he traces his thumb over Jensen’s hipbones. They’re so fucking sexy. Everything about Jensen is sexy and the fact that he’s completely unaware of it is even hotter.
“Agree to disagree,” Jensen says. Jared leans down to blow a raspberry against Jensen’s bare stomach. He looks up to see Jensen staring at him, eyes wide before his lips curve into a smirk. Anger flashes through Jared again when his eyes are drawn to the impressive bruise on Jensen’s jaw, but he swallows it back. “You are such a dork.”
“It’s part of my undeniable charm,” Jared says, flopping down and resting his head in Jensen’s lap. Jensen digs his fingers into Jared’s hair, letting the silky strands slip through his fingers over and over until Jared is damn near purring. His other hand rests between Jared’s shoulders, hot like a brand against his bare skin.
They lie like that for awhile, decompressing and watching crappy TV. It’s nearly dark when Sherri comes in, rousing the dogs and disrupting the peace and quiet.
“Look at all this masculinity and testosterone in my living room,” Sherri says in lieu of a greeting. Jared rolls onto his back and props his head up against Jensen’s thigh. The action causes Jensen’s hand to slip across his chest and Jared playfully holds it against his stomach. “Perfect for carrying in groceries.”
“You bought groceries?” Jared asks. He tips his head back to look at Jensen and sings his next words. “Somebody’s trying to impress yoooou.”
“Shut up, Jared!” She throws her keys at him. They hit his thigh, precariously close to his junk, and he curls inward. “I am a provider.”
“Fine, fine, you’re a provider!” Jared shouts as he pulls himself into a sitting position. “Don’t throw metal objects at my crotch region!”
Jared grabs the keys and gets up, playfully bumping his mom’s shoulder on his way out of the door. Jensen hops up to follow him and it takes each of them two trips to get everything inside. Jensen immediately starts helping Sherri unload all of the bags.
“Oh, I see how it’s gonna be,” Jared says. Jensen pauses in shelving boxes of cereal to look over at him questioningly. “You’re gonna be all awesome and helpful and try to show me up.”
“Guess you better up your game, kid,” Sherri tells him with a smirk. “Vacuum’s in the hall closet.”
“Ha haaaaaaa. Bite me,” Jared drawls out as he comes around the counter. “What’s for dinner?”
“Burgers, fries, and a salad,” Sherri says. She holds up a hand when Jared opens his mouth. “You’re eating the salad.”
“Fine! Vegetable nazi,” Jared mutters. “Are the fries crinkle cut?”
“Yes,” she replies. “Think you can manage to fry them up without burning down the house?”
“Yes,” Jared pulls the apron on again. “I will fry the shit out of them.”
“How can I help?” Jensen asks. He looks around the kitchen and rocks up on his toes. Sherri looks around and claps her hands together before leading Jensen over to an empty spot of counter.
“You can make the salad?” Sherri suggests. “Jared isn’t allowed to play with knives.”
“Oh my god, Jared sucks in the kitchen! That’s so original!” Jared snarks as he drags the deep fryer out of a cupboard and sets it up. “Get some new material.”
“I can make the salad,” Jensen says once he’s done chuckling at Jared’s antics. Sherri grins and sets all the veggies on the counter.
“Okay children.” She flips on the boom box on top of the fridge. Funk music pours out of it and Jared rolls his eyes. “Let’s do this.”
School on Monday is a little, well, different.
They were late because they hadn’t accounted for doubling up on bathroom times, and they trudge into English with matching tardy slips.
Jensen is a little self-conscious of the bruise on his face. His split lip is healing pretty well, but he keeps cracking it open when he smiles. The bruise is a mottled purple, spreading out from the corner of his mouth to the curve of his jaw. It’s highly visible and Jensen prays no one asks him what happened. With the rush of everything changing, he never found the time to come up with a good excuse.
Jared digs around in his bag once they sit down, extracting a Kiss and setting it on Jensen’s desk. He picks it up and looks over at Jared with a confused expression.
“What?” Jared asks quietly. “Just because we live together now means I have to stop wooing you?”
“Wooing?” Jensen asks skeptically. Jared sticks his tongue out at him before opening his well-worn copy of Of Mice and Men.
Jensen smirks and looks down at the chocolate. Living with Jared and Sherri has been sort of surreal. Granted, it’s only been two days, but it’s a lot to take in. Sherri had sat them down and told them that she wasn’t instilling many rules, but that they had separate bedrooms for a reason. She also told them to be safe and also quiet and Jared looked at her like she was stupid. Jensen doesn’t really know what else happened because he spent the next five minutes stuck in an epic facepalm.
Truth be told, Jensen spent a lot of the weekend sleeping in his new bed. Jared seems to think that just trying to process everything wore him out, which was part of it, but really it was because Jensen can relax at Jared’s house. He was just catching up on months worth of sleep lost worrying over what could happen.
Now that it’s all over, it’s hard for Jensen to try to pin down an emotion. He doesn’t pay attention in any of his classes that morning – just spaces out and thinks. He’s still sad about his parents and probably will always be, but it’s sort of a dull ache. It’s ironic how okay he is after something he spent years fearing finally happened.
But he is okay – good, even.
Halfway through math class he realizes that the only thing he was ever really afraid of was his parents. Now that that’s been taken away, there isn’t really anything left to be afraid of. Nervous and hesitant maybe, but not afraid. He doesn’t have to pretend he’s not crazy about Jared at school anymore – there’s no reason to hide.
Jensen can’t wait for the bell to ring.
When it finally does, he tears out of his class and down the hall to meet everyone at their normal spot outside the cafeteria. Jared is leaning against the wall and Jensen heads straight for him. Sandy and Sophia cut him off and wrap him up in a hug. Jensen wraps his arms around their waists and raises an eyebrow at Jared when they press sticky kisses to his cheeks. Jared bites his lip guiltily, and it’s obvious he told them what happened. Jensen doesn’t mind. It’s not like he’s ashamed.
“Thanks girls,” he says. He scrunches his nose up when they reach up to wipe the gloss from his skin. Once they release him, Jensen takes a deep breath and steps forward. He reaches out to grab Jared’s wrist and pulls him into a hug.
“Whoa, hey.” Jared laughs and wraps his arms around Jensen’s waist. “What’s this for?”
“I just want to,” Jensen breathes. He presses a quick kiss to Jared’s neck before pulling away. Jared stares at him with a soft liquid gaze, lips curving upwards into a pleased smile. Jensen slides his hand down Jared’s arm to thread their fingers together and squeezes tightly. Sandy squeals a little and Jensen blushes as he leans against Jared’s side.
People are glancing in their direction but Jensen just doesn’t care. He likes the rush he’s feeling – he wants everyone to see how lucky he is, how proud he is.
“I want pizza,” Jensen says. He’s determined not to make this into a scene. This is how it should be, him holding hands with his boyfriend during their lunch period. It’s so stunningly simple and Jensen kicks himself for ever thinking this was something he could never have.
“Sure, Jen,” Jared says softly. He looks calm but his eyes are wild and his grin is stretched wide. He’s practically vibrating with happiness and Jensen chuckles when he leans in to press a kiss to his temple. Chad and Misha let out an exaggerated aww and Sophia pushes them into each other.
Jensen grins and leans against his boyfriend, hands entwined for everyone to see.
His entire world has changed, but when he looks over at Jared he gets the feeling everything is going to be just fine.
Maybe even as close to perfect as it can get.
That evening Jared walks slowly up the hallway and leans against the doorjamb of Jensen’s bedroom.
He still can’t really believe it. Jensen lives with them – right across the hall. It’s fucking surreal.
But the circumstances that led to this momentous event aren’t exactly great. It’s an unfortunate fact Jared is reminded of when he sees Jensen sitting on the edge of his new bed with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.
“Hey,” Jared says softly as he knocks on the open door. Jensen looks up and Jared’s heart clenches. His eyes are red.
“Hey.” Jensen looks around the room like he’s a little lost. His eyes land on the giant overflowing duffle bag in the corner. “I was, uh – attempting to unpack.”
Jared nods in understanding. There must be a certain finality in unpacking your bags, a reminder that all this is really happening.
“I can help,” Jared offers. Jensen smiles gratefully and Jared strolls into the room. The duffle bag is unzipped and wrinkled and crumpled clothes explode out of it. “First things first – we do laundry.”
Jared goes across the hall into his room and dumps his hamper on the floor. He takes it over to Jensen’s room and starts shoving all of his clothes inside. He picks it up and heads for the laundry room. Jensen gets up to follow him.
It’s going to take a few loads to wash all of Jensen’s clothes, so as the water fills on the first load Jared gently pushes Jensen up against the wall. He presses their mouths together tenderly with one arm slung loosely around his waist. Jensen sags against him and curls his fingers in the front of Jared’s shirt.
“Tomorrow we’ll go shopping,” Jared mumbles against Jensen’s plush mouth. “Get all your toiletries and stuff. That peppermint shampoo you like. And razors,” he adds when his lips brush Jensen’s raspy jaw. “Get you all settled in, okay?”
“Yeah.” Jensen nods. He pulls Jared a little tighter against him, like he’s afraid Jared will let go of him. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be all – I love it here, Jared. It’s just – sudden. It’s a lot to deal with.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” It seems like Jared is always trying to drill that into Jensen’s skull. “You’re not doing anything wrong.”
Jensen nods and his hand skims up the side of Jared’s neck to tangle in his hair. Their eyes meet and they stay that way for awhile, tangled up together as the laundry room fills with the sweet scent of soap. Finally Jensen breaks their gaze to push up on his toes and kiss Jared, soft and sweet.
It takes awhile to get Jensen completely unpacked. His clothes are folded neatly in the dresser and his books, CDs, and DVDs are stacked on top of it. They find a spot for each and every one of Jensen’s meager belongings. By the time they’re done, the room actually looks like a place a teenager would live – more so than Jensen’s old room ever did.
It’s still fairly early but Jensen looks tired. His eyes are drooping and his feet shuffle along the floor. They change into their pajamas and Jared starts some music on the boom box he found in the garage before crawling into Jensen’s bed with him.
Jensen curls up against Jared like it’s his favorite thing in the world, barely keeping his eyes open long enough to kiss Jared goodnight.
Jensen easily settles into his new routine over the next couple of weeks. It’s almost like a new life, but not really.
He still feels like the same person, but it’s like the bad parts of his life were cut out of him. There was a wound left behind and he’s still a little sore and tender, but he’s healing.
He’s never laughed harder than he has since he moved in with Jared and Sherri. They’re the funniest people he’s ever met and they leave him breathless night after night. He’s also never slept better. He and Jared stick to their own bedrooms for the most part, but there are some nights they sneak across the hall to crawl into each other’s beds. They usually just kiss and cuddle, but there have been a few nights where they jerk each other off, hands shoved in each other’s underwear while they muffle their whimpers of pleasure with deep kisses.
He’s getting more comfortable with touching Jared, and even more comfortable with letting Jared touch him. And well, nothing helps him sleep better than an orgasm from his gorgeous live-in boyfriend.
He goes through with the slightly painful task of removing his parents’ names from his school records. He changes his address and phone numbers and tells the receptionist not to call his parents for anything because he no longer resides with them. He replaces their names on his emergency contact card with Jared and Sherri’s, and he takes a deep breath as he leaves the office.
It feels like another patch on the wound his parents left.
When the school day ends on a hot and sunny Tuesday, Jensen is barreled into as soon as he steps out of the door of his last period classroom. Warm, heavy weight drapes across his back and strong arms wrap around his waist.
“What’s up, gorgeous?” Jared asks before kissing the tip of Jensen’s ear. Jensen smiles and reaches up to grip Jared’s forearms, awkwardly stumbling down the hall towards the Tech building all wrapped up in Jared’s arms.
“You should lay off the cupcakes,” Jensen teases, pretending to sag under Jared’s weight. He lets out an offended squawk and digs his fingers into Jensen’s ribs. He bites down on the urge to laugh. “Tickling, really?”
“God, so feisty.” Jared chuckles and then bites playfully at the side of Jensen’s neck. Jensen squirms and turns his head to the side instinctively. Jared’s lips follow and press against the small hollow behind his ear and he shivers. “Are you coming to the meeting again?”
Jensen smiles. He’s gone to the last three GSA meetings, every one since he was kicked out. The first one was slightly awkward, as the topic was how to handle homophobia in a direct response to Day of Silence and the ensuing protest. Jensen had sat in the back and squirmed a lot. Since then he’s gotten better, moving towards the front and even participating a little.
“What are you gonna give me?” Jensen asks as he turns around in Jared’s arms. Jared’s eyes are dark, full of wicked promises. He shudders just at the thought of Jared’s hands on him and wonders when he’ll be bold enough to allow Jared to go further than fumbling handjobs through their clothing. The thought is becoming less nerve-wracking and more intriguing by the day.
“And they say public displays of affection are overrated,” comes a voice from behind Jensen. He tenses slightly, an unfortunate habit he can’t yet shake, and looks up at Jared.
“Hey Danny,” Jared says, and Jensen looks over his shoulder at her. Danneel is insanely gorgeous and a little crazy. She’s an out and proud bisexual and longstanding member of the GSA. Jared starts a little and squeezes Jensen once before letting go. “Shit, I’m supposed to go help Misha set up the snack table.”
“There’s a snack table today?” Adam asks as he walks over to them. “I swear, Padalecki. You are trying to ruin my figure.”
“He’s not shoving the cookies down your throat, babe,” Danneel says, and Adam glares at her. Adam is flamboyant enough to make even Chad look like the butchest guy alive. He wears skin tight clothes and his jet black hair is cut into some sort of trendy asymmetrical style. His eyebrows are waxed and he often wears eyeliner. Jensen was sort of horribly awkward around him the first time they met, but the shock has worn off by now.
“Ugh, you whore,” Adam says to Danneel. “As my wife you’re supposed to support me.”
“I really gotta run, guys,” Jared says with a chuckle. “Jen, are you coming or will I see you in there?”
Jensen opens his mouth to answer but snaps it shut when Danneel wraps her arm around his waist. Jensen tenses a little, same as he always does when he’s touched by someone that isn’t Jared, Sherri, or one of his close friends. But he’s rapidly growing accustomed to just how touchy-feely this group of people he’s now a part of is. The moment of panic quickly subsides and he lets out a breath, even going as far to drape his arm loosely over Danneel’s shoulders.
“We’ll take care of your boy, Jared,” she says, and Jared raises an eyebrow. He looks over to Jensen to make sure he’s okay and Jensen just nods in return. “Oh, come on. You’ll be fine without each other for ten minutes. Stop making the gooey doe eyes at each other and go set up our snacks!”
Jared rolls his eyes and steps forward, kissing the tip of Jensen’s nose and flicking the end of Danneel’s. She gives him a swift kick in the ass as he turns around and Jared cackles as he enters the Tech building.
“So Jensen, honey. Baby,” Adam says. He comes around to the other side of Jensen and slips his arm around his waist. “Now that you’re all out and proud, you have to let us take you shopping.”
“Have to,” Danneel echoes. “It’s crucial.”
“Why?” Jensen asks. He furrows his brow when Adam tugs at the hem of his plain blue tee.
“Your wardrobe is so… nondescript,” Adam says as he reaches up to pull off his glasses. Jensen blinks against the sudden change in his vision and waits for the world to come back into slightly blurry focus. “You’re far too gorgeous to hide.”
“I’m not hiding,” Jensen mumbles, feeling his cheeks heat up. He takes his glasses back from Adam and puts them back on. “There’s nothing wrong with nondescript.”
“Fine,” Danneel replies airily. “But you’re still going shopping with us.”
“At least your boy knows how to dress himself. Sort of,” Adam says, scrunching up his nose like he’s thinking. “Actually, no. You better bring him too.”
“Sounds… awesome,” Jensen chuckles. “But we better get inside.”
“Ah yes!” Adam shouts. He and Danneel link arms with Jensen and skip him into the building. Jensen can do little more than laugh and try to keep up. They drop into seats down front and Jared looks over at him and gives him a thumbs up and then a thumbs down, eyes playful and questioning. Jensen puts his hand out flat and wobbles it back and forth.
Adam and Danneel let out matching fake offended gasps and Jared’s laughter is loud enough to echo around the room.
Jared is moments from sleep, all nestled in his bed, when there’s a knock on his slightly open door. It opens slowly and Jared smiles at the now familiar sight of Jensen silhouetted in the doorway.
Jared gestures him in with a head nod and feels a now even more familiar flash of heat in his belly at the sight of Jensen in black boxer briefs and a threadbare gray tee shirt.
Jensen slowly walks over to the bed after he closes the door, barely illuminated in the darkness. He stands in front of it with his body pitched forward like he’s waiting for permission.
“I, uh – I can’t sleep,” he says, and Jared moves over to make room for him. Jensen climbs onto the bed, molds himself against Jared’s side, and tucks his head shyly under Jared’s chin. Jared can feel the hot length of Jensen’s dick through his boxers and he smiles sleepily.
Jared thinks of how Jensen was this afternoon, so feisty and flirty, heat in his eyes when Jared held him close. He presses his lips to Jensen’s temple and decides to take a chance. His heart starts thumping a little harder but he’s too tired to actually be worried that it’ll go badly. He doesn’t think it will.
“Mm, you’re hard,” Jared whispers roughly, and he swears he can feel Jensen’s cheek heat up with blood. “That why you can’t sleep?”
Jensen nods and his mouth opens against Jared’s neck in a wet kiss. He sucks softly at the spot as his hips push against Jared’s thigh almost absently.
“You want me to help?” Jared breathes a little deeper just at the thought of getting his hands on Jensen again. This whole situation feels sleepy and unreal, almost like a dream.
“Yeah,” Jensen whispers. He bites down on Jared’s neck just hard enough to prove that there’s no way he’s imagining this. Jared turns his head to meet Jensen’s mouth and licks his way inside. Jared’s hand slides down Jensen’s stomach to slip into his briefs in slow, easy movements. He’s surprised to feel Jensen’s fingers around his wrist, stilling him. This isn’t anything new. “No, Jared, I – I want more. It shouldn’t be like this every time.”
“Okay, Jen,” Jared whispers. He bites his lip and presses a soft kiss to Jensen’s mouth. “Yeah, we can do that.”
His hands go to the hem of Jensen’s shirt and tug, and he breaks the kiss only to throw the offending garment on the ground. He pushes Jensen gently onto his back before sitting up and hooking his thumbs in the waistband of Jensen’s briefs.
“Can I see you this time?” He asks softly in a tone that says it’s perfectly okay if Jensen declines. “I wanna see all of you.”
Jensen swallows hard, eyes glinting in the moonlight as he nods. Jared starts to pull his underwear down but Jensen grabs his wrist.
“Only if I get to see all of you too,” Jensen pants out as he lets go. Jared nods and pulls Jensen’s shorts down his legs, dropping them on the floor. He doesn’t look at Jensen until he gets up on his knees to take off his own underwear. Once they’re both naked, Jared lets his eyes travel hungrily up the length of Jensen’s body.
“You’re so beautiful, Jen,” Jared says reverently. His hand trails down Jensen’s flank and over the curve of his hip and down his thigh, all that uninterrupted skin warm under his palm. Jensen makes a soft noise, something needy and barely audible.
Jensen’s dick is thick and hard, curving up towards his navel. There’s a patch of dark golden curls at the base and it’s all so pretty. Jared wants that dick so bad, but he’s not free to touch – not yet.
He straddles Jensen’s hips and tilts his ass up in the air as he leans down to suck at Jensen’s collarbone. Jensen grips the backs of his thighs, fingernails digging in as Jared bites down softly. His hands travel up Jared’s thighs and over the swell of his ass before settling on his hips, and Jared nearly moans at the touch.
He surges up to kiss Jensen’s mouth with one hand placed tenderly on his cheek as he presses their foreheads together.
“I wanna make you feel so good,” Jared breathes, and Jensen arches up slightly. “But promise you’ll stop me if I do something you don’t want me to.”
Jensen nods, kissing Jared again and squeezing his hips. Jared closes his eyes and swallows hard – he has no idea what to do first. He sits up and looks over Jensen’s body, lips curving up into a smirk when he picks his target.
He reaches over Jensen to grab a pillow and then lifts Jensen’s head to place it underneath, propping him up slightly.
“I want you to watch me,” Jared breathes. His dick twitches slightly when Jensen licks his lips and nods. “I want you to see what I’m doing to you.”
He slides his hands across Jensen’s chest and fits his long fingers in the dips between his ribs. His finger travels across Jensen’s chest to one pink nipple and traces a small circle around it. Jensen watches Jared’s hand with rapt attention, swollen lips parted slightly as his breath comes quicker.
Jared rubs his finger across his nipple and feels it peak at the attention. He pinches it just barely between his thumb and forefinger and Jensen gasps audibly.
Jared grins and lowers his head to open his mouth around that nipple, lavishing it with flicks of his tongue before sucking softly. Jensen gasps again and Jared just barely lets his teeth scrape across it to make Jensen moan. Jared spends a little more time sucking on it, too caught up in the breathy noises Jensen is making to stop.
When he finally pulls away the tiny nub has gone from soft pink to dark red, and Jared knows it’ll be sore tomorrow. He bites his lip and repeats the entire process on the other nipple.
“Oh god,” Jensen breathes. His hands slide up Jared’s sides to curl around his shoulders.
“I wanna kiss you everywhere,” Jared admits breathlessly against Jensen’s skin. “Wanna take my time and make sure I don’t miss a single spot.”
“Please,” Jensen gasps out. Jared grins as he trails sloppy kisses across Jensen’s torso, pausing to tongue just a bit at Jensen’s nipples once more. He kisses down Jensen’s arm, sucking a small bruise into the bend of his elbow and then his wrist before kissing the tip of each finger. He licks them and gets them wet before sucking his middle finger into his mouth. “Oh – oh.”
Jared takes Jensen’s hand and places it against his chest, damp fingertips brushing Jared’s oversensitive nipple.
“Don’t ever think you can’t touch me.” Jared lets his hand fall free and smiles when Jensen doesn’t move his. “Don’t think I don’t want your hands on me all the time.”
Jensen meets Jared’s eyes and squeezes his nipple. Jared moans softly and his hips jerk when Jensen squeezes harder at the reaction.
“Can I – “ Jensen tries to sit up, mouth falling open, but Jared pushes him back down gently.
“Later,” Jared promises. “Use your hands on me, and I’ll use my mouth on you.”
Jensen shudders and pinches Jared’s nipple again, pulling on it softly when he realizes how worked up Jared gets. Jared hasn’t found the spot on Jensen’s body that has the same reaction yet, but he’s got all night.
He kisses his way down Jensen’s stomach and scoots backwards to make more room the farther he goes. He fixes his mouth to Jensen’s hipbones and sucks bruises into them as Jensen pants and whines above him. His mouth trails lower, tongue laving across the spot where smooth skin meets coarse hair. Jensen’s dick bumps under his jaw, leaving slick little trails on his skin and making Jared so fucking hungry.
He brings his hand up and wraps it gently around Jensen’s cock. It’s so thick, bigger than Misha’s – and Jared’s mouth waters. He wants to suck it so bad; he’s been thinking about it ever since he first laid eyes on it. He spreads Jensen’s thighs and lies down, breathing in deep and licking his lips.
He settles in, making himself comfortable and breathing hot against the head of Jensen’s dick.
“Can I use my mouth on you, Jen?” Jared asks softly. His eyes flick upwards to look at Jensen’s face. His gaze is locked on Jared’s mouth and he looks awed – and so fucking turned on.
“Y-yeah,” he gasps out, and Jared nearly weeps in relief. He wraps his hand firmly around the base of Jensen’s dick and brings it towards his watering mouth.
“Watch me,” Jared commands, making sure Jensen’s listening before lapping softly at the leaking tip of Jensen’s dick. It’s like his tongue is an electric shock for all that Jensen jerks up. Jared chuckles and lays his other arm across Jensen’s hips to hold him down. “I’m new at this, so no bucking.”
Jensen whines and Jared takes pity on him, sucking the head of Jensen’s dick into his mouth. Jensen moans and then slaps a hand over his mouth because the last thing they need is to make a lot of noise.
Jared whimpers as bitter flavor bursts across his tongue. He gets too eager, sucking too hard and taking too much in at once. The head of Jensen’s dick hits the back of his throat and he makes a soft choking noise. He pulls off and sucks in a deep breath, cheeks flushing as he glances up at Jensen. He puts his free hand on Jared’s cheek and slides it up into his hair.
Jared sucks Jensen back into his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks as he bobs up and down. Jensen arches his back and lets his knees fall open, resting his feet on the small of Jared’s back. He pushes up against Jared’s arm but he holds him still, tonguing at the slit before dropping down again. It’s messy and wet, spit slipping down Jensen’s shaft and coating Jared’s hand.
Jared drops that hand to cup Jensen’s balls and roll them gently in his fingers. They’re so full and tight, and Jared knows he’s close. He lets his fingers drift lower to brush against Jensen’s tightly furled hole. He jerks and Jared’s hand immediately wraps back around his dick and squeezes to distract him from his wandering fingers.
Jared pulls off and takes a deep breath. His lips feel swollen and tingly and he licks them experimentally. He digs his tongue into Jensen’s slit and closes his lips around the tiny hole to suck out the taste of him.
“Ah! Jared, Jared – “ He continues to chant Jared’s name, tugging at his hair as he tries to arch up again. “Jared.”
“Come on,” Jared pleads, stroking Jensen’s cock as he mouths at the head. “I want it.”
Jensen cries out, and the sound is devastatingly muffled behind his hand. He tenses up as his orgasm hits and floods Jared’s mouth with bitter come. Jared moans and swallows it all, sucking softly at the head as Jensen continues to spurt. He never wants to stop sucking, never wants to let Jensen slip from his mouth.
But after awhile Jensen becomes too sensitive, whining and pulling at Jared’s hair again. Jared slowly pulls up, pressing a sticky kiss to the head before letting go of the shaft and looking up. There are tears in Jensen’s eyes and Jared’s heart stops. Maybe he misread Jensen’s whines and hair tugging as encouragement when they were really pleas for him to stop.
“Jensen,” Jared mumbles lovingly, sliding up Jensen’s body and gathering him up in his arms.
“Oh god.” Jensen squeezes his eyes shut as he trembles underneath Jared. “That was awesome.”
Jared chuckles in relief and leans in, stopping at the last moment because he just swallowed a mouthful of come and he doesn’t know if Jensen would want to kiss him. Jensen makes the decision for him by grabbing Jared’s face and kissing him hard, slipping his tongue inside and licking the taste of himself from Jared’s mouth.
Jared moans into the kiss, gripping Jensen’s thighs and wrapping his legs tighter around his waist. He starts to thrust against Jensen, cock slipping through the groove of Jensen’s hip.
“Mm, feels good,” Jensen mumbles against Jared’s overused lips. “Love this.”
Jared grins against Jensen’s jaw and kisses there before bringing their mouths together again. It doesn’t take long for Jared to cry out, tense up, and bite down on Jensen’s jaw as his orgasm hits. He shoots all over Jensen’s stomach, thick come smearing between their bellies.
He collapses on top of Jensen and pants harshly against his neck. Jensen pets his back, hands slipping through sweat.
“Oh god, Jen.” He swallows hard and curls a hand around Jensen’s hip. “Oh fuck.”
They lie there like that for a long time, naked and pressed together as Jensen’s hands trace random patterns along Jared’s back. Jared stays on top of Jensen, head pillowed on Jensen’s chest with Jensen’s arms around him, a mirror image of their usual position.
Jared swallows hard and lifts his head to look at his boyfriend. Jensen’s eyes are closed and there is a pleased smile gracing his swollen mouth. He looks relaxed, peaceful and content and not at all afraid.
Jared is suddenly overcome with emotion, with the desire to spill his guts to this beautiful boy in the hushed darkness of his bedroom. He wants to tell Jensen how happy he makes him – how colors seem brighter when he’s around and how his heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest when he laughs. Jensen has gone and turned him into a walking cliché, mind turned into saccharine mush and he doesn’t even care.
He wants to tell Jensen that he’s in love with him.
The words push against his lips, insistent on getting out, but Jared bites them back. This isn’t the time. He doesn’t want what he has to say to be directly tied to what they just did.
Instead he just stares down at Jensen and tries to say it with his eyes and the curve of his smile. That’ll have to do for now.
“What is it?” Jensen asks in a hushed whisper when he opens his eyes to see Jared staring at him. Jared bites his lip and plants his elbows on the bed just above Jensen’s shoulders, fingers digging into Jensen’s hair. It’s getting long enough that the strands slip slightly through Jared’s fingers.
“I – just,” Jared struggles to find the words. “You’re happy, right?”
“What? Jared,” Jensen says softly, reaching up to cup Jared’s face and look into his eyes. “Of course I’m happy. I’m very happy.”
“Good,” Jared breathes. He leans down and presses their mouths together again; letting the kiss express everything he can’t say out loud.
Not yet, anyway.
Sunday has rapidly become Jensen’s favorite day of the week, whereas a little over a month ago it was his most loathed.
Now instead of getting up early and suffering through church with his judgmental parents, he can sleep until noon and flop on the couch in his pajamas. Watching cartoons and eating dry cereal right out of the box beats listening to a radical pastor drone on and on about Leviticus any day.
That’s what he is doing as of the current moment. It’s two in the afternoon on a Sunday and he’s sitting on the couch in nothing but a pair of Jared’s ratty sweatpants, watching shitty cartoons as he mainlines Honey Bunches of Oats right from the box.
Jensen has a new life, and that new life is good.
Jared comes in from walking the dogs, panting and a little sweaty as he leads them out into the backyard to work off their leftover energy. He flops down onto the couch and rests his head on Jensen’s lap. He presses a quick kiss to the bare skin underneath Jensen’s navel and it makes his belly jump in a lazy, sort of slow-burning way.
“Hey honey bunches,” Jared coos. Jensen smirks and rolls his eyes.
“Hi Jared,” he replies, and Jared scoffs. “What?”
“I was talking to the cereal.” Jared snatches the box from Jensen’s hand and shakes it. Jensen takes it back and shoves his hand inside. “Greedy.”
Jared grabs Jensen’s other hand, the one that’s currently not sticky with cereal, and slides it under his shirt to rest on his belly. Jensen bites his lip as his fingers slip along the slight dips of his muscles, barely damp with sweat.
His fingers glide across a peaked nipple just as Jared turns his head to look at the television, brushing the soft swell of Jensen’s dick. It’s been days since they got each other off, since Jensen instantly became addicted to the feeling of Jared’s mouth all over his body. He’s thinking about trying to see if he can arrange a repeat of that event, maybe even return the favor, when Jared speaks.
“So there’s this thing coming up,” Jared says. His voice is casual and a little too calm. It makes Jensen rest his hand flat against Jared’s belly and pay close attention. “It’s a dance. Some may even call it a prom.” Jensen raises an eyebrow and Jared clears his throat as he looks away from the TV and up at Jensen’s face. “It’s this thing where you’re supposed to get all dolled up in uncomfortable clothes and flail spastically, or okay, dance with the people you’ve spent the last four years with. Supposedly it’s fun, but more importantly I hear the food is good.”
Jensen’s heart starts beating wildly in his chest and he licks his lips nervously. Is Jared seriously going to –?
“I might be willing to let you come with me,” Jared says, swallowing hard and meeting Jensen’s eyes, “as my date. Maybe.”
“You’re asking me to be your date to the dance?” Jensen asks incredulously, shaking a little with sudden nerves. “Jared, we can’t go to prom together.”
“Well, it’s more of a group thing – “ Jared cuts himself off, clearing his throat and turning his head to the side. “No, you’re right. It’s stupid.”
Jensen pulls his hand out of the cereal box and pinches the bridge of his nose. He didn’t mean to dismiss the idea so quickly, but it shocked him a little. By now pretty much everyone at school knows that Jensen is gay and that Jared is his boyfriend, so that’s not the issue. He just had the image of prom in his brain – boys in tuxes and girls in pink taffeta gowns, and it just didn’t translate into something they could have.
But now he can see that Jared is disappointed. He’s watching cartoons a little too closely to be casual and there’s a slight frown tugging down the corners of his mouth. Jensen knows this is important to him, and he knows Jared wouldn’t force him into any situation he wasn’t comfortable with.
It’s not often Jared outright asks for something, so Jensen thinks he could try to do this for him. Who knows, now that he thinks about it, it might even be fun. Maybe.
“So, this prom,” Jensen starts, drumming his fingertips on Jared’s belly. “I’d get to see you in a tuxedo?”
“I actually had this really pretty pink dress picked out already,” Jared says blandly, not even looking away from the television. Jensen rolls his eyes and pinches the tight skin stretched across Jared’s hipbone. “Ow! Yes, you’d see me in a tux.”
“And we’d dance?” Jensen asks. Jared looks up at him cautiously and nods.
“That’s the general idea,” Jared replies. “I mean, we’re going as a group so we’d all dance with each other. But yeah, I’d like you to save a dance for me.”
“And the food is going to be good, you say?” Jensen bites back a smile as Jared grins up at him, eyes wide and bright. Jared nods and Jensen makes a big show of sighing. “Okay, I’ll go to prom with you.”
“Really?” Jared grins brightly up at Jensen, and then places the back of his hand on his forehead and slips into full southern belle mode, accent and all. “Oh my, the handsomest boy in school is taking little old me to the big dance!”
“Sure am,” Jensen replies playfully, letting his Texan drawl slip out in full force. His voice had a tiny bit of a southern twang to it when he first moved out to California, but by now it’s mostly gone. Now he puts on an exaggerated drawl to match Jared’s. “We’ll have a grand ol’ time, darlin’.”
“Don’t do that,” Jared says in his normal voice edged with a bit of a predatory growl. “Don’t talk like that unless you want me to pounce on you.”
“Is that so?” Jensen asks amusedly, still in his loose lipped lilt. Jared digs his elbows into the couch cushions, the back of his arms snug against Jensen’s thigh as he sits up slightly, eyes going dark. “Whatcha gonna do, Jay-red?”
“I don’t know,” Jared replies breathily. “Come in my pants?”
“I can probably help out with that,” Jensen replies loosely. His eyes rake over the length of Jared stretched across his lap, his back heavy and warm against Jensen’s thighs. He swallows hard as he slides his hand into Jared’s shorts to wrap loosely around his stirring dick. Jared lets out a soft whimper and bites his lip, eyes locked on Jensen’s face. He hardens quickly in Jensen’s grip and he rubs his thumb in circles around the head, pressing in against the slit like he learned drives Jared crazy.
“Jensen,” Jared pants as he lets his legs fall open wider. “Oh god. I love that when you – ah shit – get right down to it, you’re just another horny teenage boy.”
“Hey, kiss me,” Jensen drawls, leaning down slightly. Jared surges up and fuses their mouths together, tongue slipping between Jensen’s lips eagerly. The angle hurts Jensen’s back and makes him realize how much he wants Jared naked in his bed, just like the other night. But this time he wants their roles reversed; he wants to be the one to have Jared all spread out underneath him and at his mercy. He pulls away from the kiss, slick lips brushing Jared’s as he speaks. The drawl isn’t hard to maintain now. He’s distracted enough that he can’t really concentrate on rudimentary things such as speaking clearly. “I wanna take you to bed, Jared. Wanna do what we did the other night.”
“Yeah,” Jared breathes. He drops down so his head is resting on Jensen’s lap again. “I can definitely do that. I would love to do that.”
Jared turns his head and mouths at the hot line of Jensen’s dick through his threadbare sweats. Jensen hisses and slows his strokes on Jared’s cock as he reaches up with his other hand to turn Jared’s head away.
“No,” he breathes. His fingers smear sticky wetness down Jared’s shaft. “It’s my turn.”
“You – are you sure?” Jared asks breathlessly even as his hips jerk up into Jensen’s loose grasp. Even out of his mind with pleasure, he still puts Jensen’s needs first. Jensen smiles and traces Jared’s full bottom lip with his fingertip.
“I’m sure,” Jensen says, pulling his hand out of Jared’s shorts and pushing at his torso gently. “Just – be patient, okay?”
Jared nods and rolls off of Jensen’s lap, standing up and gripping Jensen’s sticky hand to pull him off of the sofa. They swap playful kisses as they maneuver their way towards Jared’s room, tumbling inside and shutting the door.
If someone would have found Jensen six months ago and told him that by the end of his senior year he’d be tangled up naked with his boyfriend on a Sunday afternoon, kissing and licking down a flat and toned chest and stomach and working his way towards giving his first blowjob, he would have thought they were crazy. He would have locked himself away somewhere and had a quiet little panic attack over the fear of such of a thing happening working against the dread of it never happening at all.
But here he is, clothes in a messy pile on the floor as he mouths at the knob of his boyfriend’s hipbone and sucks bruises into tan skin. There are strong, masculine hands gripping his shoulders, low grunts and harsh breaths ringing in his ears, and he knows this is where he belongs.
And when he finally leans down to lick across the head of Jared’s dick, he smiles at the taste of Jared on his tongue and at how completely not afraid of this he is.
It’s okay for him to want this, to have this. And now that he’s got it? He’s never letting go.
Onto Part 9.