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21 April 2009 @ 11:09 pm
fic: underneath the weight of it all (j2, adult.) master post.  
And, here it is! The fastest I have ever written and posted a fic, ever. Inspired by this post that I made ten days ago (massive spoilers for fic!). I'm like a machine.

Title: underneath the weight of it all
Author: _mournthewicked
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: Adult.
Warnings: Angst, mentions of graphic violence, dub-con. And also schmoop?
Word Count: ~ 31,000
Disclaimer: This is not real. Fiction, people.
Summary: Jared stopped trying to fit all the broken pieces of himself back together a long time ago. But then he meets Jensen, and he thinks it might be time to try again.
Notes: First off, massive thanks to my beta kamikaze_redux. It really came in handy that she just happens to be a psych major. On that note, even though I did lots of research, I am not a psychologist. So all of the details of Jared's condition may not be textbook, but I tried! Also, much love to my cheerleaders: twofourteen, finn21, and ifyouweremine. I love you bunches and it's very possible I stole funny things from all of you. Title taken with much love from Matt Nathanson. Enjoy!

Art by the amazing finn21.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4
pdf version
enable l♥ve: Jared Padalecki: WOOT! [fist pump]enablelove on April 22nd, 2009 02:04 pm (UTC)
\0/ \0/

psst. what did DID!Jared mean?
miss california.: [boys] ackles - the learning curve._mournthewicked on April 22nd, 2009 04:15 pm (UTC)

DID = Dissociative Identity Disorder.
enable l♥ve: MISC: facepalmenablelove on April 22nd, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC)
DUH. *sighs*
(Deleted comment)
miss california._mournthewicked on April 22nd, 2009 04:15 pm (UTC)
withthedawnwiththedawn on April 22nd, 2009 05:26 pm (UTC)

b r i t t a n ybrittwinchester on April 22nd, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)


Jaynejayniebop on April 22nd, 2009 06:15 pm (UTC)
wooo I'm so glad this has been posted

...off to read now :D
Flannery: J2: YES!merely_anger on April 22nd, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm so excited to read this. :)
Kate: [RPS] Soapbox Lovemarenzi on April 22nd, 2009 10:05 pm (UTC)
asdkjfldas ALREADY? ILY. :D
Batman McGheebatman_mcghee on April 23rd, 2009 03:53 am (UTC)
this is one of the best j2 au fics i have ever read. really, enjoyed it!
biancathecookie: Medium Sized Evilbiancathecookie on April 23rd, 2009 05:59 am (UTC)
Jessicataynney on April 26th, 2009 01:28 am (UTC)
I really don't read J2 that often. I don't like the way Jared and Jensen are portrayed usually. Saying that, I absolutely loved this fic.

Good job!!
Nemesinanemesina77 on April 26th, 2009 04:24 am (UTC)
Am about to read the fic, and I'm not expecting a response, since I know you're finishing up the Big Bang draft (OMG, SO EXCITED), but just wanted to say that, since United States of Tara is one of my favorite shows, and I've always been fascinated with DID (I read/watched Sybil in my early teens and it drew me into abnormal psych), that I'm VERY excited to read this! And now I'm going to! YAY!
Lauramountingsnow on April 28th, 2009 02:28 am (UTC)
This was just so ... wow. I LOVE THIS
myjadedhavok: [SPN] Jared Bicepmyjadedhavok on April 28th, 2009 06:07 am (UTC)
*pokes head out of hiding*


So, um. I just read every SPN fic you've written (Wincest to j2) and, yah, can I just freaking say I'm fucking in love with your characterization and writing and fuck yah give me more!


*ducks head bashfully*

Could I please, like, totally add you? I wanna stalk your journal in the most awesome un-creepy way possible.
miss california._mournthewicked on April 28th, 2009 03:25 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you so much! Wow, I had completely forgotten about those little wincest stories!

Of course you can add me! Go ahead, be creepy. ;)
formerly keeping the cheez: Celebs :: Jared/Jensen :: 13 & 14strippedpink on May 6th, 2009 07:46 pm (UTC)
So, I AM SO SORRY it took me so long to get back to you on this! I was recovering from being a DOOFUS, but man...lemme tell you what.

THIS WAS SO KICKASS. Now. I haven't read EVERYTHING in fandom, but I've read a LOT, and I can straight up say without a doubt that this was one of the most original, COOLEST ideas I've seen come out of J2AURPS! You just executed it so well! I was along for the ride, on the edge of my SEAT wondering how you'd FIX it all! The ENTIRE TIME.

You just keep getting better and better, honey, and considering you started OUT FUCKING AWESOME... \o/ Thank you so much for sharing this with us!!

MOUNTESS HEAVEN: j2: pink heartscountess7 on September 9th, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
ok, i love this SO HARD. you don't even know.

that first scene with sam, and that line about ...bounce? yeah, i might have spontaneously combusted.

but then in the bookstore! and everything else! and jared is so earnest, but scared, and ADORABLE and jensen likes him so much and OHHHHH. i need to stop.

just, srsly. its SO AWESOME.
(Anonymous) on February 24th, 2010 02:39 am (UTC)
Just read this through a rec from a friend. Absolutely wonderful!! I'm not usually a J2AU fan, but this... this was magnificent. Lovely!
autumn2525autumn2525 on February 24th, 2010 02:41 am (UTC)
Sorry!! Did not mean to post anon... *facepalm*
KimberlyFDR: Everything Else Blurskimberlyfdr on February 27th, 2010 03:48 am (UTC)
This is an amazing fic! You did a superb job with the characterizations and just everything. WONDERFUL! I've already recced it and gotten another fan hooked ;)
danielslilsisdanielslilsis on May 15th, 2010 12:04 pm (UTC)
This is seriously one of the most amazing things of yours that I have ever read (besides the reinventing love verse). It's so beautiful...and true to the disorder. I've read it five times since yesterday and the sequel? *is dead from the awesome*
Davidacethekid on December 23rd, 2010 02:00 am (UTC)
Oh My God! Just the Idea of this! So excited to read!
reckless_thingreckless_thing on March 18th, 2011 05:27 pm (UTC)
I'm actually writing a D.I.D!Jared story and after seeing this I'm too afraid to read your's because I know that your's is gonna be amazing! AH! The conflict!
I love psychology, isn't just fascinating!?
junkerin: J2 + mejunkerin on October 2nd, 2013 12:39 pm (UTC)
Wow I loved you fic. That was just great. The diffrent personalities and how they protected Jared (I loved Sam he was soooo hot). Great work Thank YOU