January 6th, 2011

[boys] ackles - you crack me up.

(no subject)

I work with two very hilarious dudes and this morning we were talking about 2012. Our conversation went something like this:

Carly: I sort of can't wait to ring in 2013 and be like HA! TOLD YOU!
Damion: I'm so over it, man. Nothing is going to happen.
Carly: Dude, seriously. END OF DAYS. Pfft.
Damion: But I am going to use it to pick up chicks until then. Really work the whole "you're gonna die!" angle.
Carly: 'You're gonna die in two years maybe but probably not, so you should sleep with me tonight'?
Damion: Exactly. Like fish in a barrel. Ryan totally buys this shit. HEY RYAN.
Ryan: [wanders over] You rang?
Damion: You buy into this 2012 shit, right?
Ryan: December 12, 2012. End of days. I'm ready.
Carly: What do you mean, you're ready?
Ryan: [deadpan] Well I'm going to get a lot of canned goods and right before the world ends I'm going to cook a lot of bacon so I'll have that handy. Bacon and jerky.
Damion: All you're taking into the apocalypse is bacon?
Ryan: Bacon and jerky. It's got lots of calories to give me energy if I'm the last human on earth and I need to repopulate the species.
Carly: ..... What.
Damion: How are you going to repopulate the species? Last I checked, you didn't have a vagina.
Carly: Wait, you've checked?
Ryan: I'll breed with some sort of animal. One that likes bacon.
Carly: So you're telling me 2012 is going to wipe out everyone on the planet except for you and your bacon surplus and you're going to repopulate that world with some sort of Ryan/dog hybrid creature?
Ryan: Yes, exactly. I'll have my shelter, my bacon, and my doglady.
Damion: So the world is going to be overrun with tall, skinny bipedal dog creatures with spiky hair?
Carly: Okay well, now I'm scared.
Ryan: Whatever. I just know that on December 11th, 2012, I'm cooking a shitload of bacon.

ETA: The further adventures of my boy co-workers.

Carly: So, Ryan thinks that bacon is going to save him from the upcoming apocalypse.
Doug: Oh, fried pig is going to keep away all that fire and brimstone, huh?
Ryan: Whoa, wait. WHOA. I never said that bacon would save me. I said that I'm going to fry a shitload of bacon.
Doug: But why, if you're going to die anyway?
Ryan: Because if I die eating bacon, I die happy.