Title: you can breathe now
Word Count: 12,000
Warnings: Schmoop. No, seriously. This is not the angst you’re looking for.
Disclaimer: This is all a figment of my overactive imagination. I don't own anyone, no matter how much I may want to.
Note: This is a sequel to we must reinvent love. It’s probably best to read that first. More notes at the end of the fic.
Summary: When Jared decides to come out, it isn’t exactly a huge ordeal. Jensen is supportive and everyone else is an asshole. Which, come to think of it, isn’t really any different from normal. But hey, at least he’s getting laid.
Truth is, Jared was pretty damn good at Guitar Hero until he started dating Jensen. The pair of them used to be able to waste hours sitting in Jensen’s room, hitting buttons and pretending to be rock stars. But again, that was before they started fucking.
Now that Jared has had the time to fully explore Jensen’s rocking little body, there really isn’t anything about the guy that doesn’t turn him on. And now he can barely get through Heart Shaped Box without getting distracted because Jensen is just sitting right there, being gorgeous and completely fucking up Jared’s concentration.
After a few screeches of missed notes, Jared gives up on the pretense of playing and turns his head to look at Jensen. The older boy is unfazed; a pair of black rimmed sunglasses perched on his freckled nose even though they’re inside. He’s wearing a black wifebeater and a pair of green pajama bottoms, bare feet tucked underneath his thighs as he sits cross-legged on the other side of the bed. His hair is sleep mussed, sticking up like he spent an hour in the mirror getting it to stay that way even though it’s just how he rolled out of bed.
The main distraction is Jensen’s fucking mouth, lips all bitten red in concentration. Jared has learned all the things that mouth can do, knows what those pretty lips look like stretched around his dick, and he was quick to realize that Jensen’s mouth is like a drug. One hit and you’re hooked for life. Seriously.
Jared drops his wireless guitar and crawls over to Jensen, leaning in to kiss his jaw, sliding his lips down the bone to feel the slight burn of stubble against his sensitive skin. He can feel Jensen’s cheek twitch as he smirks, but the bastard doesn’t even miss a note.
“Are you trying to distract me from the fact that you fucking suck at this game?” Jensen asks, but tilts his head back slightly to give Jared access to the gorgeous curve of his neck all the same. Jared doesn’t answer, sinking his teeth into the offered flesh instead. Jensen shivers and Jared places his hand on Jensen’s thigh, fingertips digging into the muscle.
“Trying to get you to make out with me, actually,” Jared murmurs into Jensen’s ear before sucking the fleshy lobe into his mouth. He smiles wolfishly when he hears the telltale screech of missed notes. He takes the guitar from Jensen’s hands and sets it on the bed, sliding his hand between Jensen’s legs and tugging on his thigh until he turns towards him.
“I can do that,” Jensen breathes, and their lips meet hungrily as the song fails, a chorus of boos sounding from the television as Jared sucks Jensen’s tongue into his mouth. Jared pushes Jensen down onto the bed, blanketing the smaller body with his own. He pulls the ridiculous sunglasses off of Jensen’s face and tosses them aside before sliding one hand into Jensen’s loose pants, cupping the rounded curve of his ass as they kiss.
It didn’t take long for Jared to discover that he loves pretty much everything about fucking boys. Okay, maybe not all boys, but certainly this boy. He loves the way Jensen’s stubble feels scraping against his skin. He loves that instead of tits and a soft stomach, Jensen’s body is hard against his own, loves tracing the lines of muscle with his tongue. He loves the way Jensen isn’t that much smaller than him, the way they wrestle in bed the way he never could with a girl.
Jensen’s dick fits perfectly in his hand and he loves the taste of it, loves getting it in his mouth while Jensen keens and tugs on his hair, forcing it deeper down his throat. He loves preparing Jensen, stretching him open with his fingers and he even loves pressing his mouth to that tiny hole, all pink and glistening. And shit, he loves fucking him. Pressing into Jensen feels so fucking right, every god damn time.
Jensen hasn’t fucked him yet, but it’s more because neither of them has thought to ask for it than Jared not wanting it. Jared can admit to being nervous about it, but then he sees Jensen’s face when Jared is buried inside him, like it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him every single time, so he knows that it can’t be too bad. Soon, he thinks.
But for now, he just hooks his hand under Jensen’s knee, pulling his thighs apart so Jared can slip between them and grind against Jensen. That’s another thing he loves, the feeling of Jensen’s dick, hot and hard against his belly while they rut against each other like animals, growling into each other’s mouths.
Jared slides his hand up from Jensen’s ass to the small of his back, pulling away from the kiss. His eyes catch on Jensen’s lips for a moment, all puffy red and slick with their spit.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Jared pants, his free hand coming up to press against Jensen’s neck to feel his pulse flutter beneath his fingertips. Jensen lets out a soft, broken moan and Jared doesn’t know whether it’s from the compliment or the way he’s moving his hips.
“You don’t have to butter me up, Padalecki. You already know I’m a sure thing,” Jensen replies, but he can’t help the way his lips twitch into a smile or the way his eyes light up at the words. Jared chuckles, sliding his hand down from Jensen’s neck to tangle in his shirt.
“You’re my sure thing,” Jared says with just a hint of a playful growl. Jensen laughs and wraps his arms around Jared’s neck, rolling his hips obscenely.
“Rawr,” Jensen teases, tilting his head up to kiss Jared deeply. He pulls away after a minute, fingers tangled in Jared’s unruly hair and eyes serious. “Yours,” he breathes, skin flushed red. He has sort of an awed look on his face, almost like he still can’t believe that’s true, like he doesn’t know that he’s Jared’s entire fucking world.
Jared feels an intense surge of affection for the boy underneath him. His throat tightens and his heart threatens to beat its way out of his chest. It never fails to amaze Jared how intense these feelings are. He’s done looking for good. He’s fallen in love with his best friend and no one else could ever compare. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, to confess his undying love for Jensen or to ask him if they can fuck now, he isn’t sure what.
The doorknob rattles then and their eyes widen. Jared moves to scramble off of his boyfriend and ends up rolling off of the bed, landing on top of the forgotten guitar controller on the floor. It digs painfully into his spine and he lets out a squeak of pain. Jensen scrambles into a sitting position, managing to pull a pillow into his lap before his mom walks into the room.
“Hey boys,” Donna says fondly as Jared pulls himself into a sitting position on the floor, wincing at the bruising ache in his back. “What are you up to?”
Jared grabs the guitar controller and thrusts it into the air before he pulls it into his lap and starts a new game. The plastic brushes his hard on through the denim of his jeans and his hips jerk involuntary. The flush of his cheeks now has little to do with arousal and a lot to do with the fact he’s hard as a rock in front of Donna and was nearly caught getting hot and heavy with her son.
“I’m just schooling Jay in Guitar Hero,” Jensen says, sounding way too fucking composed. “He’s still not ready to admit that I’m better than him in every single way.”
“Not everyone can be perfect,” she replies, equal parts amused and exasperated. She tosses Jared a wink and he smiles at her, feeling slightly guilty. “I just came up to see if you guys wanted lunch.”
“Lunch!” Jensen parrots, rolling off of the bed and snatching his glasses off of his dresser. He never put his contacts in this morning and the thought strikes Jared that he was probably wearing his sunglasses because they were closer. Lazy bastard. He’s slightly surprised to see that Jensen isn’t visibly hard anymore, but he supposes talking to your mother will do that to you. “I could eat.”
“Yeah,” Jared says, hoisting himself up into a standing position once his own erection wilts. Nothing kills the mood like a mother. “Me too. Do you need any help?”
“That’s okay,” she replies. “I’ll call you two down when it’s ready. Jen, let Jared win a game, huh?”
“Never!” Jensen shouts, and she rolls her eyes and smiles as she leaves the room. Jensen turns to shrug at Jared, running his hand through his hair and smiling apologetically. Something twists in Jared’s belly, guilt and nerves, and the thought settles itself at the forefront of Jared’s mind.
He wants to kiss Jensen without feeling guilty, without worrying that they’re going to be caught. He doesn’t want to have to explain himself. He just wants to be with Jensen. He’s going to want to be with Jensen forever, if the intense feelings he has for his friend now after only six weeks of being official are any indication.
They’re going to have to tell their parents. Soon.
Jensen knows Jared better than any other person on the planet. He’s had nearly eighteen years to learn everything there is to know about Jared. He knows all his ticks, quirks, and tells. He knows about all his hopes, desires, and dreams. He’s aware of Jared’s deepest fears. And now he knows just how Jared likes it in bed (long and drawn out or fast and a bit rough, depending on the mood), which is just a bonus in itself.
But now, as he sits on Chris and Steve’s couch, slurping at a milkshake Steve made him and watching Jared attempt to wear a hole in the carpet with all his pacing, Jensen knows Jared is a few minutes away from a panic attack.
Jeff looks from Jared to Jensen, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. Jensen just shrugs. He has no idea what’s up with Jared but he’s been twitchy all day, ever since his mom almost walked in on them, which, okay yeah, sucked, but it’s happened before. They’ll just have to be more careful. Easier said than done, though, since Jensen can’t seem to stop touching Jared now that he’s actually allowed to, now that Jared is his.
“Jay,” Jensen says, and Jared stops pacing immediately. He faces Jensen with a concerned expression on his face. “What’s wrong, dude?” Jared’s eyes shift to everyone in the room – the usual gang of Chris, Steve, Josh, Jeff, Mike, and Tom (and more recently, Chad) – and then back to Jensen again.
“Just – um, thinking,” Jared says, and then promptly drops into the giant beanbag shoved into one corner.
“That’s never a good sign,” Jeff laughs, nudging Jensen with his elbow. Jensen forces a smile even as fear twists in his belly. Foolish as it is, Jensen can’t help but entertain the thought that maybe Jared is thinking about them. He can’t help but be afraid that one day this is going to blow up in his face because it just seems too good to be true. Everything is so perfect and he’s so fucking in love that he can’t help but wonder when his good luck is going to run out.
“Dude, what’s wrong with your boyfriend?” Chad asks, whispering to Jensen conspiratorially. Jensen stares on in horror as Jared curls up on the beanbag and stares despondently at the wall. “Are you waiting for him to fucking cry or something? Get over there.”
Jensen gets up off of the couch immediately, crossing the room to the beanbag chair. “Jay?” He asks softly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Jared looks up at him, a crinkle in his brow, and lifts his arm. Jensen immediately crawls under it, the vinyl of the beanbag chair catching uncomfortably on the bare skin of his arms as he settles himself. Jared presses his face into Jensen’s neck and Jensen lets his hand tangle in Jared’s hair, the other rubbing at the small of his back.
“What’s wrong, baby?” He whispers into Jared’s ear, smoothing Jared’s hair back and internally wincing at the pet name he let slip out. Jared waits a beat, and then shrugs. It does nothing to calm Jensen’s nerves. He plays with Jared’s hair, curling it around his fingers as Jared breathes hot and damp against his neck.
“Do you want me to sing to you?” Jensen asks, and he’s mostly joking. But he’d get up and dance a fucking jig in front of everyone if it would make Jared smile. The fact that the guys aren’t shouting out the usual catcalls is freaking him out enough. They wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to fuck with them unless something was wrong.
Jared chuckles and burrows closer to Jensen, making the older boy smile a little. He brushes the hair away from Jared’s ear and starts to sing in a soft whisper.
“And you can tell everybody this is your song. It may be quite simple but, now that it’s done,” he starts, and he feels Jared start to laugh into his neck, tickling his skin. Jensen smiles wider and continues. “I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words how wonderful life is while you’re in the world.”
Jared pulls back then, reaching up to cup Jensen’s cheek in his giant hand. “You are such a fag,” he laughs, pressing their foreheads together. Jensen laughs and presses a soft kiss between Jared’s eyes.
“I can’t help that yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen,” Jensen says solemnly. Jared stares at him, and Jensen’s eyes cross at the close proximity. They both crack up at the same time, their noses brushing together.
“Love lifts us up where we belong!” Chris sings suddenly from the couch, really belting it out. “Where eagles fly, on a mountain high!”
“Love makes us act like we are fools!” Steve adds in a high pitched falsetto. “Throw our lives away for one happy day!”
“We could be heroes, just for one day!” The entire group sings in unison and Jared and Jensen slowly turn their heads. They can all randomly break into a song from Moulin Rouge, but they’re the fags. Whatever.
“This night is officially fucked up past the point of return,” Jensen says, and then presses his lips to Jared’s ear again. “Do you want to go outside and talk?” He asks softly, and Jared’s soft hair brushes his lips as he nods.
Jensen stands up and grabs Jared’s hands, tugging him up into a standing position. He takes Jared’s hand in his and leads him through the kitchen towards the back door. The air is still thick and warm when they step outside, the moon bright enough to cast a glow over the entire backyard. A hammock hangs between two gnarled trees on one side of the yard, and they head for it. It almost tips them out onto the ground when Jared climbs on too quickly, but Jensen’s flailing manages to keep them upright.
They lie there in silence for a few minutes, listening to each other breathe. Jared rests his head on Jensen’s shoulder and plays with the hem of Jensen’s shirt, opening and closing his mouth like he’s gearing up to say something.
“What is it, Jared?” Jensen asks, staring up at the sky. Even though they’re in the suburbs, they’re still close enough to LA that the big city sucks up all the stars, leaving the sky an endless sea of dark blue. “You’re sort of freaking me out.”
“Sorry,” Jared says instantly, surging up to kiss the corner of Jensen’s mouth softly. “Don’t freak out.” He settles back on Jensen’s shoulder, sliding his hand under Jensen’s shirt to rest low on his belly. “It’s just – well, do you remember how when you decided to come out, you went out onto my roof and smoked so many cigarettes in one sitting that you threw up?”
Jensen chuckles, instantly recalling his mindset when he decided it was time to come clean with his parents. He was sixteen and a complete fucking mess, but he was sure. Like, really sure. He even made out with Tracy Dessen behind the gym, got to second base and everything, and yeah, he was sure. He was so fucking scared that he just wanted to hide in his closet (and not the metaphorical one, his actual closet) for the rest of his life. That was until Jared had found him on the roof, chain smoking cigarettes and told him to man the fuck up and tell them. Jensen had nodded and then puked his guts up into the rain gutter while Jared rubbed his back. That’s a sign of true friendship. Not many people would stick by you through anxiety induced projectile vomiting.
But why was Jared talking about that now, two years later? Unless… oh. Oh.
“You want to come out,” Jensen says flatly, eyes trained on the empty sky. He knew this would be coming up eventually. It was always his plan to let Jared bring it up at his pace, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before Jared wanted to fess up, because Jared is just a sweet, honest boy that thinks a lie of omission is just as bad as lying to someone’s face.
“I want to tell them,” Jared says hesitantly, his hand making slow circles on Jensen’s stomach. “But only if you want to tell them. Do you not want to tell them?”
“I don’t not want to tell them.” Jensen bites his lip and turns his head so his lips brush Jared’s temple. “We can tell them if you want to.”
“I’m so – I’m just really happy,” Jared says, and Jensen relaxes a little. “You make me happy, and I want my mom and dad to know that I found someone. I don’t want to hide it.”
“Fucking sap,” Jensen admonishes, glad Jared can’t see the pleased flush of his cheeks. He squeezes the back of Jared’s neck softly. “We’ll tell them. You have the hard part. My parents already know I like dick. Now I just have to tell them I’m fucking the neighbor boy.”
Jensen squeaks when Jared pinches his side, and then they both settle into silence for awhile. Jared lets out a deep breath suddenly, propping his chin on Jensen’s chest to look up at him.
“I think they’ll be happy for me,” he says softly, and Jensen nods thoughtfully. He rolls them so they are side by side, facing each other. He tangles his fingers in Jared’s hair again, slipping one of his legs between Jared’s.
“Probably,” Jensen replies. “They were really supportive when I came out to them. They didn’t even really seem surprised.”
“Jensen, no one was surprised when you came out.” Jensen scoffs and flicks Jared’s ear, making the taller boy squirm.
“Oh, I see how it is,” Jensen laughs. “Here I am trying to be a sweet, caring boyfriend and I have to put up with this shit. My heart, it aches.”
“Okay, okay,” Jared relents, grinning widely. “I was very surprised when you came out. Shocked, really.”
“Because you’re so very manly.”
“Fuck off.” Jared laughs and rolls over so he’s half on top of Jensen, the hammock swaying slightly as they settle.
“Thanks,” Jared says seriously, the intensity of his eyes a sudden change from their teasing. “I’m going to tell them soon.”
“I’ll be there if you need me,” Jensen says as he tucks a wayward strand of hair behind Jared’s ear.
“When I need you,” Jared corrects, chewing on his lip. Jensen smoothes his thumb along Jared’s mouth, tugging the abused flesh free.
“I don’t like to see you all tense,” Jensen says, smoothing out Jared’s crinkled brow with his fingertips. “I’d offer to blow you but with everyone inside I’m half afraid it’d be on YouTube by the morning.” He smirks, letting Jared know he’s just kidding to try and make him feel better.
“No,” Jared says, settling himself and tucking his head under Jensen’s chin. “Just – sing for me, kay?”
Jensen smiles, tangling all their limbs together as he kisses the top of Jared’s head. Jared presses a damp kiss to the juncture of Jensen’s neck and shoulder and Jensen smiles.
“Happy to lay here, just happy to be here. I’m happy to know you. Play me a song, your newest one. Please leave your taste on my tongue. Paperweight on my back, cover me like a blanket,” he sings slowly, sliding his hand down Jared’s back. Jared lets out a soft hum of approval at the familiar, quiet melody.
“Mess up my bed with me. Kick off the covers, I’m waiting. Every word you say, I think I should write down. Don’t wanna forget come daylight. And no need to worry, that’s wasting time. And no need to wonder what’s been on my mind. It’s you, it’s you.”
By the time Jensen has finished the song, Jared is fast asleep, breathing evenly against Jensen’s collarbone. Jensen stays awake for awhile, letting his hand trail up and down Jared’s back as he stares up at the sky. It’s not long before the sound of Jared’s soft breathing lulls him to sleep as well.
It’s all very nice and peaceful for a few hours, until the big brothers come out and flip them out of the hammock and into the dirt because they’re fucking douchebags like that.
The Ackles and Padalecki families get together for dinner every other Sunday. It’s been like that for as long as Jensen can remember, and it’s kind of ridiculous because it’s not like they don’t see each other everyday anyway, but whatever.
Josh and Jeff even make the trip down from school for it. And by trip, Jensen means the thirty to forty minute drive from their apartment near campus. They wanted to live on their own close to school to be independent or whatever, but they’re at Chris and Steve’s place more than they are in their own apartment, anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.
It’s Sunday, two days since the coming out discussion on the hammock, and Jensen is wondering whether his mom is going to make pot roast for dinner, or if Sherri is going to make her amazing chicken enchiladas when Jared speaks.
“I want to tell them tonight,” he says suddenly, looking up from his laptop. Jensen nearly chokes on the gum in his mouth and whirls to face Jared.
“Tonight?” He squeaks, and then clears his throat. They were having a perfectly boring, lazy Sunday afternoon and Jared has to spring this on him now? But still, he did promise it could be when and where Jared wanted. He remembers how hard it was to come out to his parents. It was one of the most difficult things he’s ever had to do.
Jensen doesn’t have any doubt that everything will be fine. Sherri and Gerry are amazing people. They were ready to join PFLAG when Jensen came out to them, but he kindly asked them not to. He appreciated the gesture, but while he had decided to come out to his family and close friends, he wasn’t quite prepared to come out to the world.
That’ll all change at school, though. Now that he’s with Jared, he’s ready to shout it from the proverbial rooftops. He’s in love with a gorgeous, wonderful boy who loves him back, and anyone who doesn’t like it can kiss his ass. This is LA, anyway. Who the fuck even cares?
“C’mere,” Jensen says, patting the bed next to him. Jared gets up from the desk and comes over, curling up against Jensen’s side. He wraps his arm around Jared, tangling his fingers in his shaggy hair. “Do you want to tell them together? Like at dinner?”
“No,” Jared sighs, resting his hand on Jensen’s chest. “I don’t want a huge audience. I’ll just tell my parents before, and you tell your parents before, and then we’ll meet up at dinner and watch the fireworks go off.”
“Okay,” Jensen says, and then looks over at the clock. Roughly four hours doesn’t seem like nearly enough time to figure out how to tell his parents that he’s dating Jared. But it’ll be okay, because he knows his parents. He knows that anything that makes him this happy can’t be bad.
“You know that I’m stupidly in love with you, right?” Jensen asks, the words spoken softly against Jared’s temple. He can feel the curve of Jared’s answering smile against his jaw.
“I love you, too.” Jared kisses the corner of his mouth, soft and sweet, before resting his head on Jensen’s shoulder.
Jensen bites back his silly grin. It’s the first time they’ve said that to each other since that first time six weeks ago, when Jensen yelled it on a street corner and Jared alluded to it in his dark bedroom. It’s the first time they’ve said it when neither of them had something to prove.
Jensen tilts Jared’s head up to give him a proper kiss, soft and open mouthed, and he pulls back to look Jared in the eye, to let him see the emotion there. Jared smiles, reaching up to touch Jensen’s cheek as he kisses him again.
They’re in love, and whatever happens tonight isn’t going to change that.
Jared fucks him before he leaves, slow and face to face, keeping his eyes locked on Jensen the entire time. Jensen clings tightly, murmuring encouraging words to Jared between breathy moans.
Jared has to leave right after they’re done if he wants to shower and have time to talk to his parents before dinner. Jensen kisses him soundly and wishes him luck, keeping on a brave face until the door clicks shut.
Then he collapses into his desk chair and grabs his phone because if there is one thing he needs right now, it’s his big brother. Asshole or not, Josh is usually the best person to talk to when you’re worried about something. It could be that Josh just doesn’t give a shit about anything and he can make even the biggest problems seem like no big deal, but hey, whatever works.
Jensen holds down the 3 key on his cell phone. Josh picks up on the third ring, something crunching in his ear before he gets around to speaking.
“Josh, it’s me,” Jensen starts, “look, I need to talk to you.”
“Whoa, kid. This is Jeff.”
“Oh, hey. I did call Josh’s phone, right?”
“Yeah. Why do you sound all out of breath and – oh. Oh. …Ew.” Jensen flushes beet red and smacks his forehead with the phone a few times. It probably would have been a good idea to catch his breath before calling the two people who seemed determined to make his life a living hell. “Dude!” He hears Jeff scream. “Your little brother is on the phone and he was totally just getting banged out by my little brother. He’s all breathless and shit. It’s sort of awkward.”
“I hate you.”
“Uh, that’s a fucking lie and you know it, dickbreath.” He pauses. “Ugh. That insult is perfectly logical and probably true now. You’ve ruined it for me.”
“If you must know, it was your brother begging me to let him suck my – “
“JOSH! Phone. Now! I’m enduring emotional trauma over here. Your brother is a sick fuck!” A pause, and his voice returns to normal volume. “You’re a sick fuck and we’re no longer friends.”
“You’re the one who fucking brought it up. What the hell is he doing anyway?”
“Dropping the kids off at the pool, I think. JOSH!”
“What! Jesus, can’t a man take a dump in peace? Goddamn.” Josh sounds far away and Jensen is past the point of thinking this was a good idea.
“Never mind,” Jensen mumbles. “This is what I get for needing my brother.”
“Whoa, dude. Hold on.” Jeff clears his throat and pulls the phone away from his mouth, his voice suddenly more serious. “He says he needs you.”
“Oh shit, alright.” There’s the sound of the phone shuffling from hand to hand. “What do ya need, Jennybean?”
“First off, fuck you. Secondly, put it on speaker if Jeff is still around.”
“This is a two brother problem? Okay, hold on. Hey Jeff, get back – hey! What the fuck? That is not my last yogurt in your hand. I’m obviously seeing things.”
“Uh, I don’t see your name on it.”
“It’s on the bottom, you thieving asshole! And we’re going to leave for dinner in like an hour, you fat fuck!”
“Who the fuck looks at the bottom of a yogurt before they eat it?”
“Guys! Shut the fuck up. I am having a fucking crisis and I actually need your fucking help. God only knows why. Fucking morons, the both of you.”
“Alright, alright. Shit. Hold on.” There’s a tiny beep, and then Josh and Jeff’s voices come through tinny and echoed. “Alright. What’s up?”
Jensen takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “We’re going to tell them tonight. The ‘rents, I mean. About us.”
“Shit, dude.” Josh says. “You and Jared talked about it?”
“Yeah,” Jensen replies, pinching the bridge of his nose. “That’s what he was all upset about on Friday.”
“Well, I think mom’s gonna be totally psyched,” Jeff says.
“Really?” Jensen asks, the knot in his stomach unfurling a little already.
“In case you haven’t noticed, she’s pretty fond of you, kid. I actually think she’s been secretly wishing for Jared to switch teams ever since you confessed your love of the cock.”
And well, if Jensen does a little happy dance at that, there’s no one around to prove it.
“Awesome. I just wanted to let you guys know before you showed up for dinner,” Jensen replies, grabbing some clean clothes out of his dresser in preparation for a shower. “I’m about to go tell mom and dad now.”
“Good luck,” Josh says. “We’re going to head out soon, if Jeff ever gets his fat ass in the god damn shower.”
“I am NOT fat! Stop saying that!” Jeff shrieks, and Josh and Jensen both crack up on either end of the line.
“Go tell our parents of your epic gay love,” Josh tells him. “It’ll be fine.”
“Thanks. I gotta go,” Jensen tells them. “See you soon.”
“Bye!” They shout in unison, and Jensen smiles as he hangs up. He shoots off a quick text to Jared and then heads for the shower.
Jared’s cell phone buzzes as he slowly makes his way down the stairs. His parents are in the kitchen making Jensen’s favorite chicken enchiladas, and Jared sort of wants to puke, he’s so nervous. He pushes his damp bangs out of his face and pulls his phone from his pocket.
Don’t worry your pretty little ass over this. It’ll be okay. <3 reads the text from Jensen and Jared smiles, feeling a little better about the situation as he looks at Jensen’s stupid sideways heart. He takes a deep breath and steps into the kitchen. The tile is cold against his bare feet and he shuffles a little, inhaling the spicy scent in the air.
“Can I talk to you guys?” Jared says slowly, steeling himself as he sits on a stool at the bar. His dad is rolling the enchiladas while his mom fixes the rice, and they both look up at him at the same time.
“What’s up?” His mom says, and his dad stops rolling and rests his hands on the counter to look over at him. Their expressions are kind and expectant, and Jared swallows hard and decides to just come out with it. No beating around the bush. So to speak.
“I’m seeing Jensen,” he says quickly, the words coming out quick and jumbled together. He can hear his blood pulsing in his ears and his face burns. His stomach rolls unpleasantly and he stares at them, unblinking.
“You’re seeing Jensen do what, baby?” His mom asks absently, licking sauce from her thumb. Jared resists the urge to slam his head into the countertop.
“No,” Jared says, taking another deep breath. “Like, I’m seeing Jensen. As in we’re like, together.” He emphasizes his point by raising his hands and slotting all his fingers together. He folds his palms together and rests them under his chin, biting his lip at his parents’ blank expressions.
“Oh,” Sherri says. “You’re… oh.” She looks over at Gerri, who merely blinks at her before turning his gaze back to Jared.
“Since when are you gay?” Gerry asks, but his tone isn’t harsh or accusatory, merely curious. Jared squeezes his eyes shut for a moment and takes a calming breath.
“I’m not gay,” Jared replies, and then shakes his head. “Well, not exactly.”
“So you still like girls?” His dad replies, in a tone that implies it’s okay for him to be fucking Jensen as long as he still has a healthy appreciation for a nice set of tits. Jared furrows his brow and looks at the countertop, unsure as to how to answer the question. He hasn’t so much as looked at anyone else since he and Jensen have been together, girl or boy.
“I like Jensen,” Jared replies unwaveringly, lifting his head to meet his father’s gaze. “Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Hm,” Gerry replies, eyeing Jared for a moment. Jared feels his face heat up under the scrutiny, sitting up a little straighter until his father finally gives him an indulgent smile. “Well good for you, Jared.”
“Can I just say that I am thrilled?” Sherri cries out suddenly, thrusting a wooden spoon into the air. Jared starts at that, nearly falling off of the damn stool at his shock of his mother’s sudden shout.
“Figured you would be,” Gerry says calmly, and then picks up another corn tortilla. Jared blinks a few times and turns towards his mom.
“You are?” He asks, and Sherri nods.
“I’ve seen the way Jensen looks at you,” she replies. “The way he talks about you. I think he’s been in love longer than either of you realize.”
Jared’s chest tightens a little at that. Not for the first time, he curses his own ignorance for not seeing it sooner, Jensen for not telling him sooner. He mourns the time wasted, time they could have spent together.
“You’re perfect for each other,” his mother says, breaking him from his dreary thoughts. “And as long as you’re happy, we’re happy.”
“You are happy, right?” Gerry asks, and Jared nods adamantly. “Well, that’s what matters.”
“Of course,” Sherri replies, and Jared blinks in disbelief. Is he delusional or is this really going this well?
“And god knows Jensen is quite the step up from that awful Alexis girl,” his dad says, and even his mother gives him a knowing look and nods. “This is much better. One less name I have to learn.”
Jared cracks up at that. It’s no secret that pretty much everyone hated Alexis. Again, Jared wonders what he saw in her, why he spent half of his junior year with her.
“So you guys are really okay with this?” Jared asks, eyes shining and bright. His mother comes over to give him a hug and Jared clings to her, breathing in the soft vanilla scent of her perfume and letting out a sigh of relief.
“We just want you to be happy, baby,” she says when she pulls away, placing her hand on his cheek. Jared leans into the touch, completely unashamed to be a total mama’s boy. “And I can see that you are. Have been.”
“How long has this been going on, by the way?” Gerry asks, looking up once he places the last enchilada in the pan.
“Um, just before graduation,” Jared replies, running his hand through his hair. “I found out Jensen had feelings for me, and something just clicked. I mean, it wasn’t something I had thought about, but once I did it just felt right, you know? And I know that it hasn’t been that long, but I love him. I really do.”
“Oh Jared,” his mother replies, patting his cheek before hugging him again. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Me too, kid,” Gerry replies. “Do Donna and Alan know?”
“Jen’s supposed to be telling them now,” he replies. “If it goes half as well as this did, then we’re golden.”
“She’s going to be happy,” Sherri says as she returns to her rice. “She didn’t think that boy was ever going to get over you.”
“Okay, did like everyone know that Jensen liked me?” Jared squawks, eyes bugging out as both his parents shrug. “And no one thought to tell me?”
“Wasn’t our place,” Sherri answers dismissively. “But it all worked out, didn’t it? Now go put on a nice shirt for dinner. We have something to celebrate.”
Jared gets up and kisses his mom’s cheek as his dad slaps him on the back. He grins toothily at the pair of them and heads for the stairs, texting Jensen as he goes.
He feels like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. Deep down he knows he could have easily guessed his parents’ reactions, but part of him was still so afraid. It’s nice to know they don’t have to hide anymore. He can’t wait for Jensen to get there so he can kiss him in front of everyone.
Without tongue, of course. He’s pretty sure even his parents have their limits.
Jensen is checking his e-mail (read: procrastinating) when his cell phone vibrates on his desk. It’s Jared’s name on the display, and his stomach clenches briefly as he thumbs the phone open. He relaxes visibly when he reads the message.
Expect my mom to be wearing an I <3 My Gay Son t-shirt any day now. Be prepared for hugs.
Jensen grins and presses call, bringing the phone up to his ear. Jared answers, sounding bright and happy.
“How does it feel to know your mom loves me more than you? Does it hurt real bad?”
“Fuck you. How’d it go?”
“I didn’t tell them yet. If your parents took it badly I was going to deny, deny, deny and then run for the hills,” Jensen replies, scrunching his nose up at Jared’s amused laugh.
“You’re an asshole. I don’t even know why I put up with you.”
“I give amazing head,” Jensen responds surely as he logs off of his laptop. He gets up and stretches, scratching at his bare stomach. He pulls his shirt off of its hanger and switches the phone to his other ear as he slips it onto one arm.
“Oh yeah, that’s right. Now go tell them before I kick your ass.”
“I’m going, I’m going,” Jensen says, quickly doing up the buttons of his shirt. “See you soon.”
“Stop missing me so much. It’s pathetic.”
Jensen hangs up on him with a roll of the eyes and heads downstairs. He finds his mom in the living room watching television and he drops gracelessly into the armchair next to the couch.
“Hey. Where’s Dad?” Jensen asks, tugging on the hem of his shirt. His mom is fixated on an episode of Forensic Files. TruTV is all she watches anymore and it sort of freaks Jensen out. If she starts taking notes he’s fleeing the country.
“In the kitchen making guacamole,” she replies absently. “Sherri’s making enchiladas.”
“Yes!” Jensen shouts, throwing a fist into the air. He shifts around in the chair, trying to find the words. “I, uh, kind of wanted to talk to you guys about something.”
“Are you pregnant?” His mother asks flatly, not taking her eyes off of the screen. Jensen chokes on a laugh.
“You know I’m on the pill,” he replies easily, smiling at his mother’s amused smirk. He picks up the remote and points it at the TV. “Is this TiVo’d? Can I turn it off?”
“Yeah,” she replies, and he clicks off the television. Donna lets her head fall back on the back of the sofa. “Alan! Get out here!”
Alan comes into the kitchen a few minutes later, wiping his hands on a dishrag.
“What’s up?” He asks, looking from his wife to Jensen.
“Jenny wants to talk to us about something,” she replies, sharing a look with Alan that makes Jensen slightly nervous.
“What have I asked you about calling me that?” Jensen says wearily. “Me liking boys does not make me a girl.”
“You came out of me. I can call you whatever I want,” Donna responds. “And don’t go waving your rainbow flag. I’m just messing around with you.”
“You’re very difficult to love,” Jensen tells her. “I hope you’re aware of that.”
“I try,” she replies, shrugging one shoulder. She and Jensen grin at each other.
“Did I come out here to watch you two exchange jabs?” Alan asks, watching them both fondly. “I was kind of in the middle of something.”
“Yeah,” Jensen says. “I have news.” He looks up to see both parents looking at him expectantly. “I have a boyfriend.”
“That’s great, honey,” his mother says casually, even smirking a little. “Anyone we know?”
“Yes,” Jensen tells them, wondering how long he can draw this out. “You know him.”
“It’s not Chris, is it?” She asks, and Jensen wrinkles his nose. He misses the way she bites her lip to stifle a laugh.
“Ew, what? No.” Jensen clears his throat and lowers his gaze to his lap, picking at a fraying hole in the knee of his jeans. “It’s, uh – it’s Jared, actually.”
When only silence greets him, he looks up at his parents. They’re just looking at him blankly. His mom even yawns. “Well?”
“Oh,” Alan says. “Is this where we’re supposed to act surprised?”
“Yes!” Jensen shouts, and both parents gasp dramatically. It’s totally fake and it doesn’t make Jensen feel any better. “You knew?”
“Subtlety isn’t exactly your forte,” his mother replies, and his dad leans over the arm of the sofa and flicks at his neck.
“You’ve been sporting love bites all summer but you don’t go anywhere,” Alan tells him. “Jared comes over and you two lock yourselves in your room. Which isn’t really any different than normal except you take a lot more showers and you’ve got bruises on your neck, so it wasn’t hard to figure out.”
“Your father and I aren’t slow, dear,” his mother says in a tone that suggests he might be. “We were just waiting for you to tell us.”
Jensen gets up and goes over to the mirror that hangs near the front door. When he tilts his head to the side, he sees a pretty impressive hickey that Jared must have given him fairly recently. He closes his eyes and tries not to die of embarrassment.
“Come here,” Donna commands, and Jensen comes to sit between them. She wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him in. “I’m happy for you,” she says seriously, and presses a soft kiss to his temple.
Alan smiles and pats Jensen’s knee. It took a while for him to get used to the fact that Jensen was gay. It made him slightly uncomfortable at first, but he’s had two years to come to terms with the fact and he doesn’t mind anymore, as long as Jensen is healthy and happy.
“So you two are serious about this, right?” Alan asks. “You’re not just messing around?”
“What? No,” Jensen replies, turning to look at him. “We’re very serious. It hasn’t been that long but he told me he loved me the other night and I know that he means it.”
“Of course he does,” Donna says, squeezing his shoulder. “Your father is just worried because Jared has always had girlfriends and he doesn’t understand how any guy can not like boobies.” She punches Alan on the shoulder and he shoots her a mock glare. Jensen furrows his brow and lowers his gaze, chewing on his bottom lip. That’s exactly what he’s afraid of. Every day he worries that Jared is going to decide that he’d rather be with a girl, and now that Jensen has had Jared, he doesn’t think he’d survive losing him.
“Now look what you did,” Donna scolds, hitting Alan’s arm again. Alan looks over at Jensen and sees his expression, thoughtful and sad, and he puts his hand on Jensen’s shoulder.
“That’s not what I meant, Jensen,” he says, and Jensen forces himself to look at him. He tries to smile but it feels tight and forced. “I was just asking, is all.”
“Your father is an idiot,” Donna says, kissing his temple again. “I’ve seen the way Jared acts around you lately. Kid’s over the moon for you.”
“Yeah?” Jensen asks, smiling a little again. Donna grabs him by the shoulders and gives him a little shake.
“Yes! Now go upstairs and get your sister. It’s almost time to go.” Jensen nods and gets up off of the sofa. On his way out of the living room he hears another yelp of pain from his father. He doesn’t even bother trying to stifle his laugh.
He pulls out his phone to text Jared on his way upstairs to Mac’s room. They already knew. We are not good at being sneaky. He sends the message and opens the door to Mac’s room. She’s sprawled across the bed watching Hairspray on DVD. Again.
“You ready for dinner?” He asks, and Mac nods distractedly. “So you know how I’m gay for Jared?”
“Yeah,” she replies, rolling slightly to give him a look that questions his intelligence. He’s getting pretty sick of his family thinking he’s retarded.
“Well, uh. Jared is gay for me too,” he says absently. He pulls out his phone and creates another new message, brows furrowed.
“Duh,” Mac snorts, and Jensen smirks as he leaves the room. He bites his lip as he types out the message, pressing send before he can stop himself.
My dad is worried you’re going to leave me for boobs. You’re not going to leave me for boobs are you?
He sits on the edge of his bed to put on his shoes, and his phone buzzes with a reply before he’s even done.
Good thing we don’t have to be sneaky anymore. And I’m going to pretend you didn’t just ask me that. I love YOUR perky little nipples. *bites them* <3
Jensen can’t keep the grin off of his face after that, not even through the complete circus that is his family trying to go anywhere together.