September 3rd, 2004

Break free from this fight.

P.s. Catherine part 3 coming soon//

... I am now an auntie. My sister gave birth to a beautiful baby boy September 3rd, 5:00 a.m...Congratulations Fri :) My big sis is a mommy.
...(the following is not about my lil nephew)

In hopes of being someone better- he will never love you. Fighting for his survival, his words will never hug you. Kissing him to sleep will not make him dream about you. He will never see you as the girl he'll love again- because he's already seen you, as the girl he once loved. Get over it; whisper it to yourself with some rhythmic repetition that it becomes inevitable for you to ignore it. He will never love you. Your touch remains cold. his is warm. When you hold hands it warms u, but it just gives him the chills. He will never want to warm you. You can write a best seller, and he wont buy it, because he wont ever love you again. If you buy him a gift, he will love the gift but wont sit to think about the fact you bought him something. Why? Because he wont ever, he will never, love you. again.
You don;t make love. You make sex. How can you make love with someone not putting his share of the ingredients? I want to make love. If you dress up, he wont notice. He wont notice because he's not looking for the beauty youd like him to look for. Because thats the beauty you look for when your in love. But he will never love you again. So he can;t see it. If he;s sick and you take off work to go take care of him, he wont be grateful that you did it. He wont see the actual act. He will only see that someone is there to help him. Not to say he isn't grateful, because he is. For everything. But not to the point where he stops to think, wow, she must really care about me. Because he will never love you. You have gone from "you" to "Someone". I need you. Never to be said again, because he wont ever love you again. I need someone, and you happen to be the only person around, willing to care.
Its not his fault, but he will never love you.

/// dont ...
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