August 23rd, 2004

Random News:

1. I met a boy last night, a wonderful... beautiful... funny... sexy... stylish.. (oh oh)... amazing boy--///... Outcome: He's gay.
Note: Am I the unluckiest female in Los Angeles? ... Lucky K & J.

2. Nick Hillman is in the hospital...He was skateboarding, drunk... & he hit his head. Either he's paralyzed, has brain damage or... he might die
All I can say is, All my love, all my prayers.. everything goes out to you Nick... Please stay strong. &get through this.

And :
3. Im disgusted, yet again. In an attempt to make things "better" I was again put down & insulted, with no regards to my feelings. I am not a whore, and fuck you for calling me that because I was dancing & showed SOME skin (I was one of the most covered up girls there, but no... i get called a whore). You think just because I decided to act a certain way my goal to become a better person... (which was exposed in an entry he said had "hope)... I no longer intend to reach it? Fuck you for taking who I am, what I feel & what I do .. to make you feel better about yourself. So you have something to insult me with. I have fought to be who I am today & I am not ashamed. You want to walk away? Have the balls to do it like a man, instead of your bullshit.. childish attempts. You'll be happier without me in your life? You don't want to hurt me? Then quit putting up away messages that you made for me. Quit treating me like Im a ragdoll or am in some shape or form below you. You'd think you'd want to end things maturely with your first love. .. So you can tell your husband or wife, or any future significant other about him or her. So you can brag. So you can say how amazing it was. But instead, you have to create problems that don't exist & you have to confuse me & you have to walk away calling me a whore & telling me to fuck off. Thank you. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the boy I fell in love with.

THe eNd/.