July 31st, 2004

(no subject)

+All the people I care most about are gone 2 camp for a week 2 b camp counselours... Bummer. Im here alone w/out em... I hope Im alive when they come back.. if I'm not, tell them I love them, each and everyone of them.+

Dear Advice Abby,
___________Hi. My name is Marissa & I am 18 years old. I'm a good looking girl, I get good grades, and I have a wonderful social life. Yeah, everyone invites me to their parties. And at school, all the younger boys leave notes in my locker.
About 2 years ago, I met a boy. His name is Brad. He's the captain of the football team and captain of the debate team as well. I guess you can say he's one of the most populat guys in his school. (We don't go to the same school). He's kind of an asshole though, but thats how he gets peeople to respect him. He's very very very charming, very good looking, very smart, and extremely romantic.
We dated for about a year and a half. It was a wonderful relationship. Despite my obsession with him, emotionally... and his infidelity, of course. See, we were the perfect couple. BRAD AND MARISSA... we were always envied. But like I mentioned, Advice Abby, it was tough. I got really emotinally attached. I was scared that a boy this popular, this wanted would cheat on me. He did. Twice. And after the second time, he vowed to be loyal, but my feelings didn't change.. I was just as scared... just as insecure.
We got into an argument in January, before his birthday. And I broke up with him. Everything just, mounted. Abby, I couldn't trust him, but I was so in love with him. He was the man I wanted to marry... if only he could learn to be loyal, if only he could learn to love me just a little more. But you said it best in the book you wrote, you can't force someone to love you. So i broke up with him. As much as it hurt.
The next 3 months were hell, of course. He got with another girl and gave her all his love. I had no right to complain, because I had walked away.. but I was so hurt & I wasn't allowed to show it. 4 months after that... Some drama happened, which forced the 2 of us to talk again. It was hard. It was cold. It was everything we had hid for 7 months. He was still with his girlfriend though. But I waited. Cause, I loved him. Abby, why do they say that true love waits?
Anyway, some more drama happened... & he and his girlfriend broke up. He and I got closer. And one thing led to the other, and of course, we are in bed together again. Everything's amazing. Comfortable like we used to be when we started dating. The right kisses, the right love making. Calling each other baby. But we aren't a couple anymore, and we wont be again. Because I'm leaving for San Diego in 2 months.
Do you think it's meant to be? I consider him one of my best friends sometimes.. And we have so much fun together. And I'm not attaching myself... at all actually. Just patiently waiting.... I know the way things are now. He is seeing other girls and im seeing other guys.
Im just glad he's back in my life._______________________

....Thanks for listening Abby.....
True Love Waits.