Chiara (_moon_litxheart) wrote,
Chiara
_moon_litxheart

Cheating.



Cheating seems to be a big part of our teenage lives. It happens so much, everywhere... that there have got to be multiple reasons for it. So what theories are there? Theres the "Oh he/she is just a pig/slut". Theres the "He/she wasn't getting it in the relationship, hence went and looked for it somewhere else". .Theres the "He/she fucked me over, so I decided to fuck him/her over back". Oh and of course "I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing". ... Now that I think about it.. there are plenty of reasons people cheat, that's why it happens so much.
Then, after the actual cheating occurs.. the other in the relationship has to decide whether to take the cheater back.. or just end it. (That is, of course, assuming the "cheater" wants to come back after his/ her little adventure).
Why does cheating hurt so much? I've known girls (Sorry boys, girls are the only real examples I have right now since its a little more known to happen to girls than to guys)... I've known girls that claim they are mostly hurt by the issue of honesty. After the sinful act happens.. their boyfriends either don't tell the girl.. or when the girl comes to find out through other sources, they deny it. So in this case, "I was just hurt he wasn't honest with me". Then, theres the other group. Theres the... "I cant believe he'd prefer her over me, I thought he loved me". On and on and on...
Heres my thought.
I've gone through my share of being cheated on. And I've cheated on a boyfriend before. When I did it... it was because I had strong feelings for an ex of mine that i hadn't seen in a long time. And when we hung out after like, a year of not having seen each other.. he leaned over... and a tear dropped from my eye ... and there.. I cheated on my boyfriend. What can I say, shit happens.
I can't sit and butcher cheaters alive. True. Its not a good thing. Its unhealthy, its dishonest.. and in most cases its quite disgusting..If you are going to be in a committed relationship, you need to do just that... commit. If you choose to have sex with another person... have the decency to pick up the phone & break up with ur significant other ahead of time. Because although he or she will be hurt... he or she wont feel betrayed.
Betrayal is a horrible feeling. Sometimes its even more sufficating than jealousy.
But lets face it.
If he/ she cheats, they obviosuly aren't happy in the relationship. So if you decide to take them back (assuming maybe they told u right away and apologized and are really trying to make you believe that they want to change...)... if you decide to take them back... you've gotta do some thinking too. The relationship starts again.. and you think because they fucked up you can sit back and relax. not true. I did some cheating. It was Emotional cheating.... no, i didn't orgasm from it.. i didn't get off. But I did it.. and it hurt the person I was with. When he took me back, I tried hard every day to be a better person.
If you don't tolarate cheating and think, ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER... then dont hesitate to throw his bastard ass or her slut ass out on the front porch.
You can look at relationships at this age either as life growth... self improvement... practice... etc.. or u can think every boy/ girl ur with is "the one" (Which is perfectly fine) But I know that I see them as a part of growing up and learning.. and sometimes... working on ur relationship together can bring you closer because i KNOW, we all fuck up.
and its part of life.
But there are those situations where its more than a "one time, i fucked up.. im sorry". Like (Im sorry, u know who u are)... Like for example he had a gf behind ur back, WHILE you were dating him. Or he's done it 5 times. Or he's constantly hurting u. Because the fact of the matter is that you have to regain trust. You have to be able to trust that person again to be genuinely happy. and that takes a lot of work. If the trust band is not only shaken and bended but perhaps broken in more places the once.. it is just that much harder to fix.
In these fucked up occasions ... you cant take him back. Because in the end, its just going to kill you.. because so much was taken away from the relationship that you HAVE to put more in from yourself... to the point where u feel uv got nothing left. Having faith in people that continue to betray you only creates more cuts in ur heart.. more scars that are going to have to heal.. more pain. So think. think hard. think very hard... whats at stake. who u are... think about what ud b missing out on, and think.. are u better with or without them, in the end... is the effort worth it?
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    Hey guys/// I have a new LJ, its friends only..... i wont be using this one anymore... so comment on there and ill add u stichedxup_kiss

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