Fuck you. Don't have your friends call my cell fone at 2 in the morning threatining me because youre too much of a pussy to deal with ur own shit. You ask me to belive you had absolutely nothing to do with it.. How the fuck am I going to believe you when you act a certain way on the phone and then write a fuckin post the next morning with a completely different attitude. Don't you dare fucking think you are better than me.. giggling on the phone, telling me you knew for a fact your friends didn't call. Funny how this works *** Isn't it?? We are "Neautral"... we are "cool"... with no "drama".... and yet... You are fucking placing limits on peple, telling them they can't hang out with me? Who are you? The fucking cult leader, u freak. And it's funny how the night im at your ex boyfriends house (oh wait, my ex too!!!) with someone who is now my good friend instead of yours.. thats the night I get a phone call from some cunt threatening to kick my head into a curb. Isn't it hilarious? Oh wait, how about the fact I don't have shit with anyone, at all. I didn't think we had shit either until I was informed otherwise. Funny how theres no drama in my life when my life has no connection to you... but when something happens otherwise, the drama rises up from the inferno. Bitch don't threaten me, dont think you're better than I am, dont ever speak to me in some bitch condescending tone.. Don't act like you are over things when you aren't. It takes a big person to admit they have a problem, acting like everythings all fine and dandy cause of your new friends doesn't mean shit. If you were fine and dandy you wouldn't even be thinking about it so much to post it up. You want me out of your life? You wanna be out of mine..? Instead of bullshitting me into believing you miss our friendshuip, when in reality you are talking more shit than a presidential candidate talks about their adversary... (hahah u like that John, don't u!!!) How about you just forget I ever existed? If someone you know wants to hang out with me, dismiss it.. as if you never even met me, because don't worry.. I will never come near you. Im sick of hearing your bullshit memory apologizies and bullshit poetic verses. You want me out, forget me completely... and ill do the same.. to the point where I dont fuckin have some twat cunts calling me.
( I= everyone who writes that sort of stuff, including myself)
I read an entry and it made me think, why do we have to constantly prove to others that we are ok? I used to do it all the time. So yeah, I'm guilty too. Sometimes I still do it. I write about I'm stronger today than I was yesterday. But why? Its not for you to read. I mean, no offense but I shouldn't have to prove myself to anyone but me. Maybe writing it down... so that I can come back to read it. But I never do. I just read all the comments left, praising me.. congratulating me... it makes me feel good.
The entry I read is written by someone who doesn't write anything anymore, nothing worth reading. This person used to write the most amazing stuff, that I completely admired to the fullest extent, even when we were fighting. And now, its all pictures.. Its all inside jokes... (Remember, My journal has alot of this also). I tried to move away from it as much as I could.. and I did. I write stories, poems, and my opinions about everything and anything I can think about...
I know everyone has a right to write about whatever they please... But I guess its human nature to be judgemental. I wonder why this person has to remind his/her readers that he/she is still breathing & getting better by the hour. Every now and then thats fine... but what happens when its all you write about?
Sorry... Just thinking... (?)
P.s. Catherine part 3 coming soon//
... I am now an auntie. My sister gave birth to a beautiful baby boy September 3rd, 5:00 a.m...Congratulations Fri :) My big sis is a mommy.
...(the following is not about my lil nephew)
In hopes of being someone better- he will never love you. Fighting for his survival, his words will never hug you. Kissing him to sleep will not make him dream about you. He will never see you as the girl he'll love again- because he's already seen you, as the girl he once loved. Get over it; whisper it to yourself with some rhythmic repetition that it becomes inevitable for you to ignore it. He will never love you. Your touch remains cold. his is warm. When you hold hands it warms u, but it just gives him the chills. He will never want to warm you. You can write a best seller, and he wont buy it, because he wont ever love you again. If you buy him a gift, he will love the gift but wont sit to think about the fact you bought him something. Why? Because he wont ever, he will never, love you. again.
You don;t make love. You make sex. How can you make love with someone not putting his share of the ingredients? I want to make love. If you dress up, he wont notice. He wont notice because he's not looking for the beauty youd like him to look for. Because thats the beauty you look for when your in love. But he will never love you again. So he can;t see it. If he;s sick and you take off work to go take care of him, he wont be grateful that you did it. He wont see the actual act. He will only see that someone is there to help him. Not to say he isn't grateful, because he is. For everything. But not to the point where he stops to think, wow, she must really care about me. Because he will never love you. You have gone from "you" to "Someone". I need you. Never to be said again, because he wont ever love you again. I need someone, and you happen to be the only person around, willing to care.
Its not his fault, but he will never love you.
/// dont ...