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Sunday, August 29th, 2004
9:12 pm
You know you're from Virginia when...Collapse )

[ 4 petals fell to the ground ] [ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

4:09 pm
Sewer Walking

You and me, we used to talk
Like a river underground, the sewer where we used to walk.
The hole at the end empties out to the pier
Where paperboats disappear

Me, I try to send this note,
Float it like a paper boat,
But paper sinks and words are weak.
I try but I don't speak

Join together in the silent snow
Turn our faces up to see
Not endless night, but day
A pier
And you and me, talking.

[ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Friday, August 27th, 2004
4:20 pm - Mí§éRåBLé
we took bev to college today... we met up with brett and he and i moved the beds around. went to brett's dorm to see it and meet his roommates. both gay. :) one's kinda cute though! poor brett, i wish i could just hug him and make his life so much better... make all of his problems go away. i asked him when would start considering the dorm "home" and when it would stop feeling like camp and he said it already was home. i'm glad brett's with bev at mason. i get to hang out with bev and spend the night whenever but i can't help but feel left behind. i just feel so alone.

[ 2 petals fell to the ground ] [ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
10:24 pm
99 things... true? false?Collapse )

[ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Monday, August 23rd, 2004
11:11 pm
all i want is a boy to walk hand in hand to a gazebo with.
and i want to sit and talk about worldly things.
and i want him to hug me tightly.

[ 4 petals fell to the ground ] [ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

10:16 pm
Happy Birthday, Chris!


it's 10:16 and i'm kinda late, sorry. i hope you have a wonderful birthday! see ya in a couple weeks. =)

[ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Saturday, August 21st, 2004
9:26 pm
AHHHHHH. My dad downloaded this "Spybot" thing and I think it's supposed to get rid of pop ups because we were having like a million pop up at once and they really put people in anger management but anyways he got the thing on the computer and now we can't use AIM. GRRRR. Not that I use it obsessively or talk to people that much but still we can't figure out how to let us use it. We can type in chat rooms on AIM but not in individual boxes. >:|

I lost my cell phone for about 6 hours. Ed found it in the couch because he's spending the night. I was freaking out.

Oh I saw the village with Patrick today and I totally figured out the ending before it happened. The movie was like a 7.5/10. It's not that scary but I did jump twice. The whole reason they did what they did is amazing to me. I think that's what we all really want... our own happy place that we have control over and what we decided we are exposed to is what we are exposed to. It was their "neverland" of sorts because they didn't have to change like the rest of the world. Amazing.

Ha, you know how Elvis has Graceland and Michael Jackson has Neverland? Well I'm going to have Candyland... it's going to be amazing.

I want to go to the exorcist movie tonight because I got invited but I don't think I will since A. I'm not 18 and I would have to organize a lot to get in and B. We've got company and I actually like these people. But I do really want to see it. That and Cellular and Garden State and Wicker Park and Chooch and Vanity Fair and Meet the Fockers (OH YEA, especially that one) and a whole lot more.

I was watching the Olympics today since I haven't watched them at all and everyone thought I was stupid for not caring. So I find one of the billions of channels they're on and it's the woman's (or shall I say SHE-BEAST) weight lifting thing and this huge polish woman comes out with hot pink hair that's braided and shes rockin' J.Lo earrings and spandex -*spandex is a privilage, hun, not a right*- and it was the funniest thing in the world. I think I have a new favorite sport.


Hmm I'd really like to IM someone right now who is feeling like crap BUT I CAN'T.


-aN aNGrY pOtROaSt-




OH A POP UP JUST POPPED UP. NOW I'M GONNA GO MAME SOMETHING. like my dad.

current mood: annoyed

[ 2 petals fell to the ground ] [ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Thursday, August 19th, 2004
7:42 pm
"Last night someone told me about melting down a box of Gummie Bears and making one giant Gummie Bear that is bigger, stronger and faster than any other Gummie Bear that came before."



Oh that made my day. =D

current mood: happy

[ 7 petals fell to the ground ] [ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Wednesday, August 18th, 2004
2:45 pm - nosegay
i'm not moving at all. too lazy.

i just did something kinda mean. but i don't care. people screw me over all the time. >:]

bev leaves on the 27th and i can't go with her because i'm babysitting. eh. i have a made a lot of money this summer. oh i get to watch my neighbors house from the 27th to the 3rd.

i'm going to go find something to do.

[ 4 petals fell to the ground ] [ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
11:02 am
Wow I haven't done anything in a long time. I haven't showered or gone anywhere... just cleaned my room. Now that we have two empty bedrooms upstairs I'm thinking about moving into Bev's old room for the winter. My mom want's to repaint it because the watered-out blue looks really crappy and I'd love to make it a pretty shade of green. :) I'll make a pro/con list.

pros
day light
near the washing machine and computer room
repaint it a pretty color
share a bathroom (yelena gets to clean half)
a locking door

cons
having to move my heavy furniture
share a bathroom (yelena dirties it)
away from the tv and phone in the basement, but there is a phone in the computer room
smaller closet
taking one of the guest rooms

That sort of helped... I don't know.

current mood: dorky

[ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Monday, August 16th, 2004
6:28 pm

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
-- Mother Teresa

[ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Sunday, August 15th, 2004
10:12 pm - She Will Be Loved
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

Yeah
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Try so hard to say goodbye

I love this song. It means so much to me and I don't know why. When I hear it... it's indescribable. I love this song.

[ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Saturday, August 14th, 2004
2:43 pm
i got my schedule for school today.

pd. 1 s1 psychology myers A day
pd. 1 s2 "resource" what happened to study hall?!? A day
pd. 2 FY AP US hist A day Foltz (i want schleg!!!) >:| A day*
pd. 3 s1 "resource" A day
pd. 3 s2 int relations Schelgel A day
pd. 4 FY English 11 H Walker A day
pd. 5 FY Chemistry Murphy B day*
pd. 6 FY Guitar Neibergall Bday*
pd. 7 FY Algebra 2 Scott B day
pd. 8 FY Early Childhood Education Corwine B day

* classes i'm not looking foward to.

current mood: pissed off

[ 8 petals fell to the ground ] [ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Friday, August 13th, 2004
2:22 pm
ah! funny story. bev called me last night and she's like i'm going to spend the night with amanda from work and we're going clubbing so i need you to pack my bag. so she tells me what to put in and i'm supposed to pick out the jewelry (ha like i know what matches. i wear the same crap everyday!) so i finish and she comes by and gets the stuff. well she called me this morning and she's like we went to platinum and there were no white people there and i was getting hit on my some mexicans who weren't very nice so we went to a gay bar. i was like why...? and she explained they were with a gay guy from work. and so she's there and all these gay guys are fawwning over her telling her she's gorgeous and such in the platonic way that only gay guys can. and she sees some guys from our school. dancing. with their shirts off. and she decided that gay guys are wonderful. and i just think it's fabulous that people can be themselves and bev wasn't a hater (not that she was before.) Y

[ 6 petals fell to the ground ] [ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Thursday, August 12th, 2004
4:43 pm - depp = idiot in german
OH OH OH Thunderstorm!! I hope! Or maybe it was a plane. :/

So I've been babysitting all week... hopefully I can make some good money. I recently got back in touch with this awesome guy, Johnny, I met last summer and that makes me really happy. Oh! More thunder! I bought new boots at target. They were like 16.99. Mens. I got some rainbow shoe laces for them, too. I bought the NOW 16 cd. It isn't as cool as I thought it would be because the sound quality is kind of poor... like in "take my breath away" by jessica simpson... her voice goes away. and in some other songs, too. I also got this CD called "the buzz." It has soul asylum and sublime and other stuff, too. It's really hot. I don't think we get to go back to school shopping for clothes this year. My mom says we don't have a lot of money. I think I know why. :/

[ 2 petals fell to the ground ] [ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
6:37 pm
Yay!! An ice cream truck just came down my street BLARING jewelry box music. At first I thought it was my parents. Yelena and I stepped out and there was a parade of kids on scooters going down my street. My first thought: hannah and my scooter days. ::sigh:: remember the song?! Second thought: ICE CREAM!!! So I grabbed some cash and ran along with the scooter kids... feeling like a loooser without a scoooter. Bought ice cream for some kids whose parents were being jerks and wouldn't let them get any and I got a Double Strawberry Ice Cream Sandwich- kinda like strawberry shortcake but in ice cream sandwich form. succulent. That made me week. I've never got ice cream from the truck before!

current mood: excited

[ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Monday, August 9th, 2004
7:35 pm
survey from kellyCollapse )

[ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Saturday, August 7th, 2004
10:28 pm
A is for apple, i only like red ones, and Awesome which i spelled wrong for years
B is for Bev, one of best friends
C is for Candice, my name. and calamari
D is for delectable, a great word
E is for elephants, one of my favorite animals
F is for fun, and fart!
G is for God <>< and goobers-the best candy ever, and green
H is for Hannah my other best friend and her Hot momma
I is for ice cream (peanut butter cup)
J is for jujubes
K is for knitting because i'm very good at it
L is for love <3
M is for mommy who i love
N is for nutella
O is for obnoxious (which i am) and octopus
P is for peanut butter. i love peanut butter.
Q is for quilt which i can also do! haha
R is for rainbow because i love them
S is for skittles and sprite
T is for tickle, and turtle my other favorite animal
U is for uterus and Uranus
V is for voluptuous
W is for wish
X is for xylophone? xbox?
Y is for yak haha
Z is for zoolander

[ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

Friday, August 6th, 2004
6:33 pm
enthralled
captivated
impressed
worried
shocked
sad
excited
happy
touched
depressed
miserable
amazed
blissful
content
shocked
terrified
sick
confused
lifeless

[ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

6:30 pm - flame worthy blame worthy shame worthy
My Thoughts Right Now:

I’m so sick of this. Everything. I hate looking at the same things everyday. Hearing the same complaints from the same people all the time… I want more. I don’t think this place can give me more. Every inch of me wants to be something great, something distinguished and special. I don’t feel special here. In Sneedville I felt like someone. I loved the last three weeks. LOVED. I was around new people who didn’t have expectations for me. I got to impress them. That sounds stupid but whatever I don’t care what you think of me. When I was at Andrew Nelson’s church and in Tennessee I was something fresh and no one new me. No one was sick of me or had other ideas of who I was. I hate being a background to people. I don’t want sit back… I want to be shotgun and have amazing experiences. I lay in bed at night disgusted with this place and everything it doesn’t have to offer me. I was telling this to Bev last night and she asked me if I wanted to be president. I was like hell no… politics suck. Too many people lie and act like things they aren’t. Philosophers should rule the world. But they’re too busy thinking. Some people stay and some people go… I’m gone.

Carly is sick and the vet doesn’t know what she has. Her heart is enlarged and she has a mass about the size of a ping-pong ball in her lung. Her spleen is all disfigured, too. Poor kid.

Andrew and Ashley invited me to go to Andrew’s new cabin in Deep Creek with them and Andrew’s family. I can’t go, though. :(

I babysat 5 kids today. Don’t ever do that.

current mood: cold

[ 2 petals fell to the ground ] [ HE LOVES ME | HE LOVES ME NOT ]

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