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November 2008

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a revelation and a question

Sometimes, in others' grief, you find a part of yourself that you thought was lost long ago. You think of things you thought you put behind you and you realize...things will not be the same, maybe they will never be the same, but...could it hurt to give it another try? When you realize that your immaturity ended something that could have made you truly happy, something that could have been so good...when you think of where you might be if you hadn't been so stupid...you begin to wonder if you'll ever have another chance...

And when you realize you're ready to try...and there's a freedom to do so...even when your heart has been broken, no matter how many tears were shed in the past...you always wonder...what would happen if he wanted to try again, too?

When you remember the love you held in your heart, for the very first time in your young life, and when you remember when your heart felt as if it would never again be whole...and you know that you no longer feel those things...is trying again a good idea?

Yeah...yeah, I think it is. God, I hope you read this. It's been so many years...I don't know if you'll read this, and I know I'm being a pansy by not asking you directly, but...if you DO read this...do you want to go out with me?

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