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To my friends [Monday
September, 28th, 2015
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. The kind which just creates a multitude of questions upon questions. I think I'm the same person I've always been; I still never say half of what I'm really thinking, I care too much about what I probably shouldn't, and there is that constant nagging feeling in the back of mind that there will always be more to do, even when you are done.

On occasion I find myself looking back on my old post and sometimes yours. I like to see how far we have come. How we have changed so drastically and yet stayed the same. We were kids, who are now just older versions of ourselves muddling our ways through this thing called adulthood. I often wonder if anyone else does the same in reading their post and others. I like to think you do. Though I'm not quite sure why. Everyone has seemed to go their separate ways, which is a beautiful thing really. I suppose that is just what happens when your childhood bubble grows beyond the town you grew up in.

But I will always be thankful for those memories we made. The stupid things we did just because, and the way we all loved each other. I would never want to change any of it, because it was imperfectly perfect. I hope if ever have children they have friends as amazing as you...because then I know they will be alright.

hah. [Tuesday
November, 9th, 2010
[ mood | ecstatic ]

I just read through a condensed version of the past 4-5 years. Its amazing how much people can grown and stress a person can withstand.

If I had known my freshman year of high school where I would be now I would have laughed and said that only happens in fairy tales.

I have a college degree, the man of my dreams (literally right down to the birthplace)who loves me and I'm crazy about him. I moving up north with seasons and we have our dream dog. Sometimes I still feel like I'm dreaming.

I'm wise enough to know that people change and things may change, but for right now I'm ecstatic.
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Blah... [Thursday
January, 21st, 2010
I miss pop punk music.
What ever happened to the Atari's, NOFX, the movielife... I hate this new electric crap.

Where I want to be in 10 years. [Tuesday
July, 28th, 2009
[ mood | nervous ]

I was in the shower and I started thinking: "Wow! I graduate college most likely next summer." Then I thought: "Well, FUCK! What the hell am I going to do?"
I know my dad has pull with his job to help me get a job as a probation officer after I graduate; which is wonderful to know I have that security and even if it doesn't work out I have a job to fall back on at Starbucks. It also brought about feelings of: "what if I fail" or "I hate it and it makes me miserable" or "I'm terrible at it and do it all wrong." Overall I'm scared shitless.

Then I thought about what I want in 10 years. Here it goes.

-Masters in Psychology
-Teaching psychology courses at a community college.
-To be married and possibly children (okay, I do really want kids some day) and a dog.
-A home
-To be happy

I'm curious to know what you guys want 10 years from now.

Edit: Sept. 28th 2015
-I would settle for published author.
-I am married and we have a wonderful crazy dog.
-Colorado is where I now call home.
-I feel pretty happy.

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Happy Post! [Thursday
June, 25th, 2009
My last post have seemed depressing and angry so guess what....great guess! This is a happy post.

:) <------ Oh, it just looks ever so happy!
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People are assholes [Sunday
May, 31st, 2009
Today was my day off...or supposed to be. I'm already to go out with my boyfriend, we had plans to go to the beach and then my work calls to tell me I was supposed to be there 10 min. ago. There was no notice of me to work, nothing written on any schedules. She called an left me a message asking me to work a couple days ago but I never responded thinking she would find somebody else; I guess she just took that as a yes.

I just decided to go into work...I have no idea why. Breaking plan with my boyfriend who stayed at my house because we were supposed to go to a water park today. Anywayyyys I should have just said I couldn't work.

So I'm walking into work and some guy in his 50's is walking out with his wife and says (very rudely): "Next time why don't you try being ontime!"

Fucking Douche bag.

I feel so shitty for breaking plans with Chris; we had today planned for two weeks.
I need to learn how to say no.
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:( [Tuesday
May, 26th, 2009
My sisters husband told her he doesn't love her anymore and wants a divorce.
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I want to quit my job [Friday
March, 20th, 2009
I thought Starbucks would be my dream job, but since I have moved to this new store all I find are that the people are rude, cynical and most the time just shitty. I think today just set me over the edge.

I've been having problems with one of my managers, it mainly started when he tried to tell me I have no life experience because I still live at home. well...I'm sorry I chose to get an education as opposed to partying every night at some stupid club downtown. It got worse when closing with him seems like I end up doing most of the work while he is on multiple 10's smoking or standing in the back leaving me to handle all the customers while he talks on his phone.

It makes it worse however how he tells all of the other managers I am difficult to close with, or he's glad he does not have to close with me. At least to one of his comments Tiffany said the only reason I'm difficult to close with is because he makes me do all the work. At least everyone in the store knows his closing capabilities.

Then tonight after my manager was "so tired and needed a break" took her 30; she was only there an hour longer than me. Now during my entire shift I was wondering when I was going to get my break, now after I busted my ass doing my pre-close she tells me the person who came in two hours and thirty minutes after me needed a 10 minute break before I left. I mentioned that I never had my break and she said I didn't get a break because she forgot about me. Wonderful.

I miss my old job at donatos.
I think instead of worrying about this shitty job I'm just going to bust my ass and graduate, I'm fucking tired of this shit.

Sorry for the rant.
Love you all.
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February, 10th, 2009
My parents told me they didn't want me to take out loans and be in debt after school like they were....So I'm thank-full for them paying for my school thus far (not so much for the fights every time tuition is due).
Now that I have to take out student loans...again I am thankful that it is only 2,000 per semester as opposed to about 10,000 for a full college career.
Yelling at me every night, telling me I am a terrible child; I'm going to be the cause of you going into debt, I'm selfish, and telling me to drop out because you don't want to pay the amount when its due even though it will be given back to you, and fuck school, does not seem fair. Adding that I don't work hard also does not seem fair. I'm trying! I go to work and I make good grades in school....I just want a college education. I don't want to have a fight every night about it or feel as if I'm scum for wanting an education.

I can't sleep... [Friday
February, 6th, 2009
so...I woke up from a nightmare around 2am.
here it goes:
My parents went out of town and I was left home alone for a few days. Then I decided I wanted to eat dinner but not alone so I tried calling Adrianne but she was busy; then Katie but she was going out to eat with Gregg and for some reason that made me upset.

Then I was sleeping and I heard a noise...my dog told me to lock my bedroom door and she was going to see what was going on. Then somehow I realized somebody was in my house with a knife trying to kill me so I went out the window (which somehow didn't have a screen?...I love how my nightmares want me to live.) I saw my dog and my cat in the front yard so I was happy to see they were okay. I woke up when I was at my neighbors front door and a news report on tv about what happened.

Freaked me out!

I checked my last exam grades online:

History and systems of psych: I did awful on the first part 14/30 :(
However the second part was a 29/30 :)
Leaving me with a 71% which is bad...but I can deal in hopes I do better on all the others.

Stat methods in Psych
I got a 40/50 on my quiz today (which are basically exams)
I stayed up until 4am studying last night so I'm not too happy with an 80%...but again I can deal.
The midterm is coming up...she put a practice one online so I should get on that.

I have a Clinical Psych exam on Monday. I have all weekend and 4 hours at school on Monday to study...so I'm not freaking out.

I guess school is okay...I mean after my parents telling me to drop my classes AGAIN and they went paying AGAIN. My dad still isn't speaking to me, if somebody could inform as to when I became an ungrateful child who doesn't do any work please tell me.

Work is alright now that they stopped scheduling me when I had class. I also made it so I could incorporate study time as to not be so stressed.

Chris and I were thinking about going to see snow this weekend....but we realized it wasn't possible. Yeah...we are bummed too.


He hasn't met the parents, nor have I met his. We keep putting it off...I don't really care as long as we are happy right now and we can meet the parents when we are ready.
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February, 2nd, 2009
I think my father cant stand to see me happy.
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January, 2nd, 2009
:) times a trillion.
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December, 27th, 2008
I passed out and slept through playing games with Adrianne.

November, 26th, 2008
Oh no.
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November, 9th, 2008
I want to travel.
To a place with golden leaves and high rocks;
just so I can sit and stare for hours.

November, 6th, 2008
I am appalled by the ugliness this election has brought out in people.

Honestly, statuses thanking everyone for electing a terrorist; the power of stupid people in large groups...these are of friends of yours; why speak so unkindly?
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November, 5th, 2008
Because this is a historical moment I will just write:
I am happy :)
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sigh, [Monday
October, 20th, 2008
Money breeds nothing but stress.
I need a second job, I am scared I wont be able to keep up on my schoolwork (mainly thinking in terns of second semester).
I suppose I will start applying on Wednesday.
I want a serving job that will let me work only on the weekends.

I never realized how much I really made at my old job.

Sometimes we need to be reminded: [Wednesday
October, 15th, 2008


October, 7th, 2008
I think I could fall.
He makes me happy.
I'm scared and excited;
but...for now I'm just going with the flow.
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