"Seriously, I'm going to have to apologize to Carson when we get home, because what he does is marginally science. What you're doing is voodoo. How do you expect to find the Colonel with his stupid toy airplane and a bunch of brown glop?"
"And a crystal. Don't forget the crystal, it's important."
"Oh, yes, the crystal makes it all much more scientific."
"As a matter of fact, it does. Aha, got it. You coming?"
"On a giant wild goose chase? Not without some Marines. There's no telling what kind of trouble he's gotten himself into. It's a talent."
"We don't need Marines. I've got this. Come on."
"A hockey stick? Right. Never thought I'd say this but over the last couple of years I've come to appreciate the value of guns in these situations."
"If I'm right about where your friend is, the hockey stick's going to be way more useful than a gun."
"I'll believe that when I see it, and where do you think he is?"
"Let's hope you don't have to see it, and let's just say I think we're going to talk to a vampire about a Colonel."
"When did this become my life? The blood-sucking kind, that's what you're telling me?"
"Yep. Lady named Bianca."
"Oh, that just figures."
"He never sees it coming."