At first, **** refused to drink our pop, so we made his computer operate intermittently.
Next, **** refused to by our pizza, so we gave him a slate and piece of chalk and took his computer entirely away.
Finally, **** complained about the resolution of his chalk and slate, so we took those away and gave him stone and a chisel….
…but the chisel was dull and **** was forced to craft his own paper with papyrus reeds and use his own blood as ink.
The advice here…eat the pizza, even if you don’t like it. Your computer will love you for it.