Quod me nutrit me destruit (_marauder_) wrote,
Quod me nutrit me destruit

Middle East Peace Plan

1) Israel relocates to Cyprus
2) Cypriots sent back to Greece & Turkey respectively - as collective punishment to all three countries for 30+ years of bad eurovision entries
3) Two boring conflicts resolved in one go
4) Number of bad eurovision entries permanently reduced by 1
5) 3,000 UN peacekeepers redeployed to more up-to-date troublespots - e.g:
i) Patrolling limit of Iranian maritime claims on The Serpentine in Hyde Park
ii) Maintaining floating demarkation of Iraqi waters at mouth of Shatt-al-Arab waterway, on blue lieloes - for avoidance of future "confusion"
iii) Patrolling UN buffer zone between HMS Cornwall and BBC journalists
iv) Enforcing the DMZ between Rev. Ian Paisley and Gerry Adams at future meetings of Northern Ireland's devolved government
v) Behind the bar at Quinns during busy periods


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