Я в таких случаях пишу письма президентам и СЕО. И, не поверите, не только все мои проблемы разрешаются как по мановению руки, но мне, как правило дают еще всякие кредиты, купоны, талоны и прочие жесты доброй воли.
Сегодня я сочиняла очередное послание СЕО PayChex, компании, которая вот уже 5 месяцев не может закрыть мой счет, и продолжает снимать с моего бизнес, а теперь уже и персонального счета по 70 баксов в месяц. Разгребая старые письма в надежде найти подходящий экземпляр для затравки, порадовалась своей коллекции за последние 10 лет.
2000, подписка на компьютерные книжки по дешевке. Явно была в задиристом настроении.
…Moreover, I am very unhappy with your customer service. My first books were ordered in January, they appeared at my door on April 6. Four days later a note came that you still had not received a payment from me, and unless I paid right away I would get a late charge. It was rather rude, since every other business in this country gives their customers at least 25 days to pay before they start applying fees or sending intimidating letters.
Nevertheless I did send a check for $25.60 that same day to avoid your fees. To my surprise on May 16 I received yet another letter with the late fee requesting $28.60. Apparently you are as slow in processing payments as in sending shipments; it is only demanding money that you don’t miss a beat in...
2007, медицинская страховка не хочет платить за out-of-network докторов. Их, кстати, буквально через 3 месяца за это прижал Attorney General. Но не потому, что я ему написала. Хотя наверняка так бы и поступила, не верни они мне мои денежки.
...Yet, even after having received these additional documents, UHC still reflects these two claims in “in process” state. It has been more than 45 days for both claims. By holding off on processing the claims, not providing a written explanation of what additional information is required, UHC effectively avoids paying legitimate out-of-network claims. Moreover, lack of response from health insurance, prohibits me from submitting these claims to Flexible Spending account (also held by UHC). If the claims are not considered within the FSA 2007 submission deadlines (by 3/31/2007), UHC also stands to keep my FSA money that would otherwise cover these expenses...
2009, United Water. Письма с годами становятся все более цветистыми, видимо ЖЖ отражается на стиле.
...Replacement of water meter. For the past 3 years United Water has been sending me requests to set an appointment to replace the water meter in my house. I have already set 3 such appointments: one in 2007 and two in 2008. Each time a technician came, and discovered that the street faucet controlling the water into the house is rusted and broken. Without ability to switch the water off, technician could not replace the meter and left.
It has been 3 years, every few months I am receiving threatening letters (the latest one is enclosed) that unless I allow to replace the meter my water service will be terminated, meanwhile United Water not only is not fixing the street faucet, but does not even have any records of the problem, or of the technicians’ prior visits to my house. When I call customer service, they either tell me to schedule appointment anyway or to disregard the letter. Apparently customer service does not have the authority or the knowledge to report the problem to the proper department so that it is fixed. Meanwhile the old mercury water meter (which to my understanding is hazardous and is mandated by the regulators to be changed) is not being replaced.
Overcharging. Perhaps, due to the old meter, or may be independently, I have been consistently overcharged for water (the copies of last 3 bills are enclosed for your review). Since 03/22/2007 until 12/22/2008 I was receiving estimated bills, about $300-$500 per quarter. On 12/17/2008 an actual reading of the meter took place, and it turned out that I was overcharged by $1,727.05. This money was credited to me, only to charge me $1,112.12 on the next bill (billing date 03/17/2009). It was not clear from the bill whether it was actual or estimated. How could I possibly incur more than thousand dollars in one quarter, if my typical bills were always around $400 and even that had turned out to be an overcharging?..
К сожалению жемчужина моей коллекции, письмо Джефу Безосу по поводу 800 баксов Амазон не мог мне вернуть из-за бага в программе, потерян безвозвратно в результате чистки от вирусов. О, это было замечательное письмо. После него мне позвонила тетенька с титулом VP, Executive Customer Relations, и от лица Безоса извинялась за Амазон, вернула мне мои 800 баксов и еще купон на 25% с чего угодно в течении года.
Сегодня же вот сижу и думаю, чем закончить письмо в Paychex – угрозами или просьбами. Опыт показывает, что помогает и то, и другое.
I am writing to you as a last attempt to give Paychex an opportunity to return me the owed money and stop these charges. If you do not rectify the situation within the next two weeks, I will conclude that this is not a mistake by the customer service, but rather a fraudulent business practice Paychex engages in to enrich the company at the expense of the small business owners, who already face hard time due to the economy. I will then take the steps to publicize this fraud by filing complaints to BBB and databases of fraudulent practices, and by reporting it to the office of NY state Attorney General.
I am writing to ask for your help in resolving this issue. Neither I nor my accountant has been able to close the account and stop the charges despite the numerous calls to the Customer Service over the last 5 months. I really hope that you can help me to close the account and get the money back.
По самочувствию пожалуй что пошлю вариант №1...