(no subject)

Today is September 11, 2007 - six years to the day from what will almost surely be the biggest news event in my life time... and so much more.

It's funny, because the aftermath was largely an NYC/DC phenomenon, but I can tell you that at my home in Pierrepont/Colton that day, far above the little hamlets in the valley on top of a small mountain, ashes darkened the sky for a bit. There must have been some serious up winds to blow those little specks of sorrow six and a half hours north from where they came, but there they were, blowing in the sky with the breeze. I may be upstate, but my taxes and license still say I’m a New Yorker. And on that day, I was more of a New Yorker than I’d ever been.

That day was only a few days into my senior year of high school at good ole’ CPCS. What a place that was... I loved it there- the purple and gold lockers that were my idea, the teachers and the friends I’d known since second grade (few of which I’ve kept in touch with). Keeping score for soccer in the fall. Cheering for basketball during the harshly cold upstate winter. Playing (or benching) softball in the spring. All of this, I loved. I remember my 3 or 4 study halls every day senior year that were mostly spent in the library goofing off. This day was not unlike any of the others that I had come to love.

I was in the library during one of the aforementioned study halls... second period, I believe. I had French IV next, third period. Only, I left the library with my posse when the bell rang, and everyone was congregated in classrooms with TVs in them, so we joined in. And that’s when it all began for me on that fateful day during my everyday, ordinary, seventeen-year-old life.

This day completely changed how my senior year would turn out. Many of my schoolmates had relatives living in NYC, and were worried sick about them. Some didn’t hear back for weeks, and it was a time of nervous waiting and knuckle-crunching. This air of negativity and hostility toward whoever had constructed and later followed through with this sour idea changed the way I saw the world. I had no family or friends in Manhattan at the time, thankfully. I was not worried about anyone in particular, more for the well-being of the rescue workers and the military men and women who would undoubtedly be going to war over this. I was fortunate compared to a lot of people.

Still, it took away a good deal of my optimism. I quit believing in what most American people would say is God. I formed my own political ideas that were decidedly left-wing and pacifist. I found myself disagreeing with policies and politicians and bureaucracy and a lot about American politics in general. I could not tolerate the thought of war to react to an act of violence such as this. I visited Washington, DC in March, 2002 and saw the destruction at the Pentagon. I saw and admired demonstrators outside the White House. I protested against said war and voted against it in the next (and my first) presidential election in 2004. I formed my own opinions. I shaped who I am today. I realized how thankful I was that I was able to do this without punishment, and I felt lucky to live here, but knew the government was going about guaranteeing our rights the wrong ways. I finally had a sense of what America is about and should be about- freedom. I felt pride for all the people who did so much to help and sorrow for the loved ones they and others lost. That initial blow to my optimism was half-bettered by a strengthened belief in mankind. I grew up largely because of this.

And I don’t know if I will ever be quite the same person I was on September 10.

(no subject)

so at my placeholder job until i get an awesome in TV somewhere, i basically edit the resumes of IT people all day.

and let me tell you, they can't spell for SHIT.

(no subject)

on november 26, 2005, i wrote:
"sometimes i wish i had a crystal ball so i could see where i'd be a year from now, five years from now, ten years from now."

i still think that way, even though my life is completely different now than it was then. now, i'd like to see where i am in a month, that'd be enough for me.

what a lame entry to mark my re-re-re-re-entry into LJ!

(no subject)

you're right jennie, this is QUITE bandwagon-esque :)

Four jobs I have had in my lifetime:

1. Student Ambassador
2. babysitter
3. if internships count, Public Affairs
4. research and copy editing intern

Four movies I would watch over and over:

1. Slackers
2. Rent
3. CKY Extreme 4
4. Shawshank Redemption

Four places I have lived:

1. Pierrepont, NY
2. Potsdam, NY
3. Wilmington/Carry Beach, NC
4. Syracuse in July!

Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. Prison Break
2. American Idol
3. Smallville
4. House

Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Washington, DC
2. Sumter/Columbia, SC
3. Biloxi, MS/New Orleans, LA
4. Wilmington, NC

Four of my favorite foods:

1. BocaBurgers (original chik'n and flame grilled)
2. cottage cheese
3. rice
4. green peppers

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. i wouldn't rather be anywhere :)
2. in Biloxi or New Orleans
3. Paris
4. California

(no subject)

yes, yes, i know i never update anymore, but i think i'm going to start doing so more often (again). there are pivotal life points coming up, and i want to have a place to remember them. it'll also be a good way to keep in touch/let people know what i'm doing when i FINALLY move on.

this is my last week of classes as an undergrad, and it's... weird. my last final is next friday at 3:30 (the last possible time spot, wtf?), and i'm going to be walking out with one of the best friends i've made here- jennie. i love her, and i'm glad we'll be together for such a momentous occasion.

i actually don't have an insane amount of work to do- just finish my magazine journals and portfolio, do all the bibliography citations for dr. whelehan, finish the rough and final drafts of my comp301 paper, a stats test and some homework, and put the finishing touches on my public affairs portfolio. nothing i can't handle :)

(no subject)

sometimes all i want to do is call my mom and thank her for everything she's ever done for me, then tell her i'd be nothing without her.

(no subject)

can i just tell you how glad i am that i'm no longer with heath?


he IMed me today... he and his girlfriend got married on january 24 because she was pregnant and they didn't want to have a baby out of wedlock, to which my (albeit internal) response was, so what, she was already knocked up, you idiot! their baby was 7 weeks premature which is horrible, but i guess she's doing alright now which is good. he showed me their myspace with all the pictures of the baby and stuff.

then, he proceeded to tell me how much he hated his life and that it was too hard. my thoughts were, a), that is a really shitty attitude to have with a baby in the hospital and b), HAHAHAHAHAHA! my life is great and yours SUCKS! and that second thought made me feel really good and i don't feel guilty about it at all.

he said congrats on grad school and graduation and all that stuff, i said thanks and told him how awesome my life was- that everything was great and really simple and i was just trying to have a good time right now. we parted electronic ways amicably, and he promised to keep in touch.

and i kinda hope he doesn't make good on this promise just like all the others he broke!

(no subject)

sometimes it amazes me just how incredibly short life really is.

yesterday, rob's best friend (since gradeschool), tank, passed away. he was in a high speed car accident- not sure yet whether there was alcohol involved- at around 5 am yesterday morning. the car was ripped in half and he and the drive were ejected. it's just... unbelievable.

this is a guy i hung out with quite a bit last year, when the boys lived on the other side of our house. i guess he hasn't really hung out much this year, which made rob really upset, like he could have done something to change it.

i've never seen him cry before- i mean, rob is a really really good guy, and a great friend to me and the rest of us. he really tries to take care of all three of us girls in the house and be the "man of the house," or whatever. it breaks my heart to see him like this... so sad.

today is mackenzie's birthday and we're going to celebrate without robbie and have a bigger celebration next weekend, i guess. tonight we're going to grill some chicken and have a few drinks, maybe see a band our friend ben is in play at the rugby house.

yesterday's events just really make you open your eyes and see that you really have to take life for everything it's worth.


(no subject)

so now that i've gotten into grad school and intend on depositing at SU, i'm in a bit of a pickle-

where should i do my culminating internship- prison break or smallville? i'm interested in hour-long network dramas, and those are the best two (besides lost, which, while it's critically acclaimed, i don't have much feeling for).