Anya (_lovegood) wrote,

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Just some ramblings...

Here I am's 01h30 A.M. and I can get myself to sleep. Must be the excitation of the Harry Potter Premiere I watched some hours ago. You know, the adrenaline, the pression you have, being a webmaster and wanting to post the very first and exclusive photos of the event. And you stay online, wait for someone to comment the event with you. How was Emma Watson's dress (awful), how come Daniel always manages to be so attractive, even in your less favourite color suit (green...but deep green so I guess that's ok), etc... And you watch this live stream video from AOL, you hear the screams of the fans, the lights that are flashing everywhere, and you tell yourself that you could have been there, too. It was planned to be you, on the other side of the camera, you weren't supposed to be the one sitted at home who can simply watch. You should have been living this, like many other people. But...well *sighs* I still tell myself my parents were right about not letting me go. It didn't keep me from shedding a tear when I saw this huge sign at the top of the Oden Cinema, on the screen of my computer : "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire : The World Premiere".
I know it may sound childish, and I still don't know why I cried at this moment, because I was resigned to the fact that I wasn't allowed to go to London... well I guess I wasn't so resigned than that.

Lately, I've had an irreprescible urge to write. But I didn't know what I could write about, so I didn't do it. Instead I focused on making designs on Photoshop. But the urge is still there, and I guess that's why I'm here tonight instead of sleeping. I've got something on my mind that's been bothering me for some days now. I can place a feeling on it, though I'm not sure why I feel it...Well, not really. In fact I exactly know what it's all's just that I don't want to write it down, in fear to make it real to the eyes of the world. To my eyes, too. For the moment, it's easy to deny it because it's only a thought, and it can't hurt anyone. But once it has been written down...Force knows it can hurt more than it was intended to. For I perfectly know that many of my thoughts haven't the same meaning once they are words. That's why I still keep this one for me...Perharps I can get not to remember it...and no one will be hurt.

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