Locke (_locke) wrote,

How To Guides

Earlier this week I delivered some (free) furniture to my friend. It was late (11:30) but it is difficult for me to get a truck and Kerry's dad volunteered at the last minute.
My friends roommate took objection to the hour yelled at us a bit. I left hoping that would be the end of it.
In the morning, however, Kerry and I received this email (cc'd to my friend).

I'm not sure how to respond (if at all). Your thoughts are appreciated.

Judging from last night, your mothers apparently forgot to tech you some basic manners, so here's the run-down:

1) This is not your fucking home. Treat it and the inhabitants with respect.

2) You do not have a standing invitation to visit, you never have and you likely never will.

3) You only come here if you have a fucking *invitation* and only at the *specific times* told to you by the inhabitants.

4) If you randomly call 5 minutes ahead of your arrival, if you don't actually contact one of us, you stay the fuck away, especially if it is fucking 11:30 at night when people fucking sleep.

5) If you are blessed with a fucking invitation, when you arrive you go to the fucking front door, ring the door bell and wait patiently for someone to answer the fucking door. If nobody answers, go away.

6) While we are at it, don't blow the fucking shrill whistle in the fucking house as you did at Xmas.

7) Consider the option of apologizing when your ill-thought actions are revealed to be fucking insensitive, annoying or just generally idiotic.

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