How To Guides

Earlier this week I delivered some (free) furniture to my friend. It was late (11:30) but it is difficult for me to get a truck and Kerry's dad volunteered at the last minute.
My friends roommate took objection to the hour yelled at us a bit. I left hoping that would be the end of it.
In the morning, however, Kerry and I received this email (cc'd to my friend).

I'm not sure how to respond (if at all). Your thoughts are appreciated.

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So, I'm tidying up the house (and enjoying having it to myself, a rare event) when I walk passed Rachel's door and I see not one but *two* cat paws fully extended underneath the door just sitting there. I can just imagine her head smushed up against the other side with a 'please god let him see me' thought bubble above her head. She was *very* happy to be set free from that particular oubliette.

Questions From Your Girlfriend That Aren't Really Questions

“How do I look?”
What it really means: “Tell me I am attractive. Now.”

“Do you think she’s pretty?”
What it really means: “Prove to me you aren’t attracted to other women.”

“Where do you want to go tonight?”
What it really means: “Read my mind.”

“What are you thinking?”
What it really means: “Give me an excuse to yell at you.”

“How was your day?”
What it really means: “Ask me how my day was.”

“Don’t our married friends seem happy?”
What it really means: “I want to get married.”

“Do you love me?”
What it really means: “Lavish me with compliments or I’m leaving you.” OR “I am a clingy psychopath, please dump me.”

“Do you want to try new things?”
What it really means: “I want to know exactly how much of a pervert you are.”

“How come we don’t ________ anymore?”
What it really means: “You’re getting boring, and I am going to cheat on you next week if you don’t do something interesting soon.”

Full Explainations at :

Five Techniques of Surviving a Police Interrogation (Without Confessing)

Taken from freeBEAGLES' recommendations for animal rights' activists (and others) on how to make it through a police interrogation without incriminating themselves or their peers:

  • Remain silent.
  • Remain silent.
  • Imagine the words "I invoke my right to remain silent" painted on the wall, and stare at them throughout the interrogation.
  • Momentarily break your silence to ask for counsel.
  • Cultivate hatred for your interrogator so you don't fall into his traps and start talking.