So yeah. It looks like you have lost your money, _m_h_n
, sorry about that!
Thank you, all you lovely people who have rooted for me, but this morning they phoned me up to tell me they have picked someone else. Oh well, now I can continue to enjoy my freedom, for the time being at least.
Some things will have to change, though. I am very dissatisfied with the way I have spent the past 6 weeks. Basically doing nothing at all, except sitting in front of my computer, writing journal entries and comments, catching up on my friends' lj's, and waiting around for updates, often staying up until very late at night/early in the morning, instead of turning off the computer and doing something useful with my time. How silly can you get?
Don't misunderstand me, I bless the day I joined livejournal, but sometimes I curse it too. There are so many other things I want to do, and also things that I have
to do, and they are sadly neglected. I desperately need some structure in my life. Because I go to bed late, I get up late, and then I have breakfast late and when I feel my day is only just beginning, it is practically dark again. The days fly by unused and almost unnoticed. I hate that!
The first 6 months of this year I was unemployed too, but I accomplished so much more. I did a lot of things I hadn't had time for when I was still working, and it felt great. Then, a few days before I went to work again, I discovered lj and the rest is history...
This is really and truly an addiction, I believe. The only addiction I have ever had before was smoking, and after one failed attempt (not counting the feeble ones as a teenager) I quit without any pain. Cigarettes kept popping up in my dreams pretty regularly at first, but never in my waking life have I felt any need to smoke again. (Well, except once. I had moved into this apartment and been working hard at emptying boxes and putting things in their new places, and when I sat down for a rest I thought, completely out of the blue, 'Hmm, a cigarette would be nice!' I was very shocked at this, LOL!)
So, what to do. I have no wish whatsoever to abandon lj, it has given, and still gives, me a lot of pleasure, but I think I may have to start allocating blocks of time to all the things, including lj, I want to do in a particular day. Time management has never been my strong point, but I will just have to train myself. Go to bed no later than 1 or at the most 2 am, and rise at a decent hour (9 am is what it usually was on my pre-livejournal days off). That would make a good start. Reserving the morning for other things and not going near my computer until perhaps 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Then take a break or log off to start cooking at a decent time (and not, like now, type on when I should have started dinner over an hour ago! Isn't that typical?), and in the evening perhaps some more lj, perhaps
. Start cautiously and see how that works out. Hmm.