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oh you drive me crazy .. (( 001. [26 Jul 2004|12:36pm]
[ mood | rushed ]

Everything underneath this entry, will be deleted soon enough. I'm starting over. And I really love this user name. And it will be public.

I remember when I hung out with those cute little boys with the shaggy greasy hair, and the tight jeans, and track-jackets. Haha, I kind of miss having those boys as friends. Just like I miss going to shows, and hanging out with Cherise, Cait and Stacy every day of my summer. But, we grow up. Grow apart, and then grow right back together. Right now, the four of us are somewhere in the middle of growing back together, I think.

Adam and Chad have been alternating between taking Taleya and myself to dinner. Renting movies. Paying for/ seeing movies. It's been interesting. But, Adam left us yesterday to go to the Trans Am show in North Carolina. We should have gone with him, but I really, really need the money.

Tomorrow, I really want to go see The Cinderella story, all over agin. With Jennikins, because we need to hang out. So maybe we'll do that. It's been so friggin' cold out lately, and I don't ever feel like sitting outside in the cold. So we'll just have to see.


mon - work, 1 - 9
tues - work 5 -9 ((with jennikins during the day))
wed - off
thurs - work 8:45 - 5:30/6
fri - off
sat - work 1 - 9
sun - off
mon - on call for work @ 3
tue - 8:45 - 5:30/6

Which means, right now I need to leave for work. I wish I had my camera so I could take pictures of my new hair cut and color. It's brown still, with blonde, and lighter brown all over. And it's short again.

If someone can find me a white studded belt, that's sort of big, I would love you for ever.
3 freaking out

[10 Jun 2004|05:38pm]
graduation is in 12 days. 12. that's one of the only things i'm seriously looking forward to.

i think that i will be attending brookdale community college in the fall for fashion merchandising, before transfering to f.i.t in the city. it will be the biggest adventure of my life.

yesterday was the senior class picnic. it's amazing to see how much everyone has grown up, and how close everyone has gotten. i saw so many faces i haven't seen in forever. (and after losing god knows how much weight to bring myself to 113 pounds, i've never recieved so many compliments on my body in a bathing suit :[ ) i cant wait to get the pictures developed, to add to the books full of memories. these last four years have been the biggest roller coaster ride, finally slowing down and almost ready to come to a complete stop.

i don't think i could have ever asked for anything better then everything i've got. my best friends, my family, my boyfriend & his family, an awesome job, my own car, and.. peace.

it's times like these i regret the petty arguments, the "you stole my boyfriend" bull shit, the "i hate you" attitude with everyone who i used to think did me wrong - relationships in the past were never anything compared to this. they were just the introduction to a book just waiting to be read, cover to cover. and somewhere now in the first chapter, i've honestly fallen inlove.

so, now, i'll use this more. fix it up some. change icons to be actual recent pictures of me, and make it pretty. but, for right now, lord of the rings, and chad .. are waiting for me.
2 freaking out

[19 Apr 2004|08:17am]
[ mood | rushed ]

baby i love you, and i need you to do me a favor right now..

so yesterday had it's ups and downs, but it was one of those days that makes you realize everything that's ever happened to you, has happened for a reason.

i used to think i'd always regret fighting with people, being friends with people, dating the people i dated. but i don't. every single thing i've ever experienced helped me grow into the person i am now. the person that was blessed with one of the kindest, gentlest, amazing human beings to ever walk on this earth.

things were rough yesterday. but communication, strength, promise, and dedication were the things that pushed us through it. it wasn't scarey at first, it just felt typical. but it was far from typical. i'm glad that we worked everything out though.

the beach with our friends. hot tub party. smores made over his fire place, and some stupid haunted disney movie followed. it was an okay nite afterwards.
1 freaking out

[07 Apr 2004|09:11am]
[ mood | bored ]

i like writing in public journals, i think. it's confusing keeping two journals, but i will do it anyway.

spring break. apparently, that means nothing to me. i've worked every day since it's started, for atleast 8 hours. sunday i slept at chad's, and monday i drove him to school, then went to work. repeat process all the way up until today.

i have different work hours today. 11am, till 7:30. i think i'll like these hours a lot better then my normal ones. working 3 till close is kind of crappy but chad comes in every night at 8:50 and waits around for me. so it's not as bad as i make it out to be sometimes.

my brand spankin' new eclipse was waxed and buffed yesterday by my boyfriend, as a surprise. it's so shiney and pretty. i think it needs to be driven up to PHILLY to see Bridget one night. Maybe soon. Skate and Surf on Saturday, too bad Chad and I don't have tickets for it, and neither one of us are that excited to go. I've got the new Senses Fail cd, and they're the only reason I want to go. besides My Chem & ASL. Whatev.

Now I need to go get ready for work, and leave at 10, so I can get to Chad's before 10:40 when he comes home for lunch so I can see him for a little bit before I leave.

Hanging out with Jenn & Rob tonite, watching Gone in 60 Seconds because that movie rocks. We'll probably end up being really dumb but who cares, we're allowed to. 18 makes you silly.

Friday I'm going to get my hair styled to see how I can do it at the prom. Both pictures I'm bringing are Jessica Simpson hair styles, which will be funny. She is my girlfriend after all.

Okay, bye.

2 freaking out

[14 Mar 2004|10:18am]
[ mood | bored ]

hot damn, i forgot i had a public journal.

what to say, what to say...

chad♥ .. he's in texas right now, visiting some family. i'm chillin' with my girls now, tanning and what have you.

school .. it's going normal. high 80's / 90's grades, and only like 97 more days to go or something. graduation is the only thing to really really look forward to in june. we may or may not be going to the dominican republic so, graduation is the only special june thing. (and possibly florida with kaite bryan and chad, but that's a graduation gift)

work .. brave new world. it is the best place to work, the end. i get discounts and i have fun new friends and tons of awesome money coming my way soon.

that's all i can really update on while i'm munching away on the monkey bread my friend jenn brought me over. it's good to be 18, taken, and have the best friends in the world. i'm seriously the happiest person ever, the end.

oh and my friends only journal _ontheside. add it.

1 freaking out

[26 Dec 2003|04:59pm]
Christmas wasn't anything special. Christmas Eve I slept, from being sick. Talked to Chad a lot. Ate dinner with my dad, and slept again.

Christmas day I went to my sisters, and watched my nephew play with his toys. We took a little nap while watching one of his new dvd's, and ate dinner together. At about 9 Chad came over. He gave me a braclet with a heart on it. It's really cute. We were supposed to go see Peter Pan, but we were too lazy, and far too comfortable laying in my bed for that. We watched movies, and layed around for a few hours before we both fell asleep. It was a nice, cozy Christmas.

I had work at 11:45, and it was pretty dead so they sent me home at 4:30. I called Chad, of course. Tonight Jenell and I are going to the mall, (Chad's probably not wanting to come with us) and then Jenelle, Chad, Cait and I are going to see Peter Pan because we're cool like that.

falling so hard, so fast this time.. - it's lyrics like that, that freak me out about being in a relationship. oh well.

annnnnnnnnnnnnndd now i need to shower.

merry christmas, or whatever else you celebrate.
1 freaking out

[22 Dec 2003|02:50pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

i forgot about this thing.

um, this whole brick hates no milk records thing is pretty fucking gay. and if i hear one more 'brick mosh verse no milk records', i'm going to scream. what, do we think we're north brick now? jesus.

i wish people weren't so fucking stupid when it comes to who they like and dislike. who can't wait to graduate? laurie, for sure.

imagining your death is almost a sentimental feeling.
giving a massage with a knife blade.
writing a love song with a loaded gun.
breaking concrete with your face is what dreaming disaster is like.
5 freaking out

[06 Dec 2003|10:07pm]
christmas list.Collapse )
freaking out

[23 Nov 2003|09:20pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

oh it's hurts to be this good.

bringherastarX: woo, me and you we are so both pathetic I love it.

Me too. I love this journal for being public. Especially because all of the good stuff is in lara_core still. Anyway. It's so funny how people can be so hypocritical about things. I, myself, know when to get out of a relationship that isn't going to work out. I obviously wasn't meant to be with someone younger then me, so I got myself out. Just because someone else has him, doesn't mean I'm jealous. If I was jealous, I would be saying 'oh please be back with me' ... and I am not, and would never ever say something like that to him, or anyone else for that matter.

your boyfriend over the summer lived over an hour away. you must remember, considering how you had me drive him down to see you whenever we were supposed to hang out. .. and he did, oh and we still communicate with eachother, big accomplishment, eh? who cares. that was me using you. How's it feel? I'm sure it feels awesome to be used, you sure as hell should be used to it by now.

seems like everything you dislike about zalina is something you have/had issues with. interesting.

the issues i have with zalina, hardly reflect on the issues i have with myself, thank you for your pathetic attempt at insulting me.

+ weight issues. what girl doesn't have weight issues?
+ ... what other issue do i have with myself? i'm pretty damn happy with myself, thank you.
+ my mom's a physcopath. .. i totally have control over that one, i swear. /end sarcasim for those of you who don't understand that.

oh, and "blondie" is 20x the person you or cait ever could be ... except i don't try to kiss the boy i know my so called best friend has been so to say, 'in love with' for.. months. thanks for putting your nose in buisness you know nothing of.

except maybe in your sheltered world where wakefield and kill hannah or whatever are god's gifts to music
WAKEFIELD .. [insert the long squeal like a teeny bopper] and KILL HANNAH [reminds self to mention to them that i for one am claiming them to be god's gift to music, especially for just LIKING their band. Wow.]

and you are so 'fashionxcore' it hurts ... rofl. i wish you understood our inside jokes before you made an attempt at ripping them apart.

neither of you are anything to be jealous of ... really? wow. i'm sure you guys are completely our competition.. last i checked, i got the boy i wanted, and hardly had to try .. that's something to be jealous of. something else to be jealous of, is the fact that we're two beautiful teenage girls who respect ourselves a lot more then we respect you, because we do not have our self commenting to people we haven't talked to in MONTHS unless they comment to us first. NOR do we put our noses inbusiness that does not involve us directly. We ARE something to be jealous of. Conceited? Incredibly.

ps. you talked 'mad shit from tons of miles away' on plenty of people. KTHNXBYE. ... It's true, but at least I don't randomly im people out of the blue to tell them they're pathetic. Or else certain people would get an im every week saying 'you're pathetic, kthnxbye'

It's true, I am everything you say I am. Conceited, a bitch, a liar, a backstabber, unloyal, a slut, a groupie, obsessed, a teenybopper ... whatever else you want to throw my way, i'm sure I'll agree with it. But atleast I've gotten past the stage of denying it, and started to accept it, because honestly.. who else would be this good at this? Thank you so incredibly much for boosting mine, and my bestfriends ego tonight. It makes us feel awesome that you would take the time out to sit at your computer and think of all of these insults... just to prove your pathetic little point. It shows we meant a little more then you'll let on. If we were so pathetic, and .. not worth talking to, why bother to fight with us? we're just going to laugh at you anyway, and maybe put up a fake fight while we're at it.. But other then that, you're just making us laugh. Thank you though, we really needed to laugh tonight.

God, it's good to be me.

ps; Cait if we go down, we go down together.
19 freaking out

[22 Nov 2003|10:05pm]
[ mood | bored ]

^ 11/19 * Kill Hannah | The Stone Pony
^ 11/28 * Mike's Birthday ?
^ 11/21 * The Bank Robbers | Krome
^ 11/30 * Throne | The Saint
^ 12/03 * Kill Hannah | Knitting Factory
^ 12/12 * Alex's Birthday
^ 12/19 * No Milk Records - No Hollywood Ending |Krome
^ 12/20 * Mindless Self Indulgence - My Chemical Romance | Cricket Club
^ 12/30 * The Used - Senses Fail - Don't Look Down | Starland Ballroom
^ 01/23 * Jordan Knight | The Green Room, Seaside.

damn straight. Jordan Knight. that's all.

freaking out

[22 Nov 2003|11:05am]

Saturday 12/20/03 7:00 PM
, Tubring
Cricket Club - Irvington, NJ
freaking out

[22 Nov 2003|11:02am]

The Used
with Senses Fail and Don't Look Down
An all-ages, 21 to drink show.
Starland Ballroom on Tuesday, December 30th.
Doors 7:00PM

the end.
freaking out

[21 Nov 2003|08:41pm]
and she said:

i am completely against the idiots that run our country, and assholes who take advantage of little girls who have just gotten into their first car accident. rot in hell you piece of shit.

the kill hannah show rocked times ten. they are the nicest boysmen i have ever met. mat devine, ktnxbye.
2 freaking out

[18 Nov 2003|05:03pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

you remind me of the times when i knew who i was.
freaking out

they can't save us now. [16 Nov 2003|09:37pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

1. taking back sunday vs. brand new
brand new

2. anatomy of a ghost vs. coheed and cambria
coheed and cambria

3. the used vs. thrice
thrice duh.

4. thursday vs. my chemical romance
my chemical romance duh!

5. the movielife vs. fairweather
the movielife :'(

6. fall out boy vs. the starting line
the starting line

7. atreyu vs. shai hulud

8. the mars volta vs. sparta
the mars volta

9. count the stars vs. the ataris
count the stars

10. spitalfield vs. the rocket summer
the rocket summer

11. saves the day vs. mae
saves the day

12. something corporate vs. straylight run

13. chris carrabba vs. conor oberst
conor oberst

14. CT BATTLE: doozer vs. grover dill
grover dill

15. hidden in plain view vs. the early November
hidden in plainview

16. saosin vs. alexisonfire

17. alkaline trio vs. vendetta red
alkaline trio

18. glassjaw vs. from autumn to ashes

19. the anniversary vs. the reunion show
the reunion show

20. yellowcard vs. silverstein

I should make my own quiz. question numver one. Wakefield vs Good Charlotte lmao :')

2 freaking out

[16 Nov 2003|06:30pm]
[ mood | content ]

promise don't let me miss it.

^ 11/19 * Kill Hannah | The Stone Pony
^ 12/28 * Mike's Birthday ♥
^ 11/21 * The Bank Robbers | Krome
^ 11/30 * Throne | The Saint
^ 12/03 * Kill Hannah | Knitting Factory
^ 12/13 * Alex's Birthday
^ 12/19 * No Milk Records - No Hollywood Ending |Krome
^ 12/20 * Mindless Self Indulgence - My Chemical Romance | Cricket Club

Time to start going to more shows, since I kind of stopped. But then again, we did go to two Drive Thru Invasions, strictly for Senses Fail, and My Chemical Romance's Halloween Extravaganza. Yet again, more Senses Fail. Kill Hannah is coming up THIS WEEK, which is the most exciting thing ever. And Throne will be next weekend, which will rock.

Work x ten all week. I think Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday are my days off. We get paid on Friday, too, so I think everything will be chill. Good deal.

Um. I'm moving in with Grace in 7 months, kthnxbye.
2 freaking out

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