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04:19pm 16/12/2003
     (1 X your toxic)

09:05pm 11/12/2003
mood: cynical
yea so people were complaining about how upsetting my 2nd entry ago was upsetting, im sorry so i am making some happier ones.. i got a new s/n its JwiLLY sTyLE099 add it.

p.s. you can comment now smitty
     (your toxic)

08:09pm 11/12/2003
mood: bored
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     (1 X your toxic)

im really upset..   
08:16pm 10/12/2003
mood: depressed
i hate feeling like this. as much as i hate to say this.. im depressed like badly. i guess my dad lost his job now we are gonna have to move, i bet my dad will get thrown out. o well i really dont care about that anymore. whatever happens happens. i went to see sherry today, i cried its normal. she was so.. pretty in that casket but then i thought.. shes never comming back and i started crying again. my parents said some pretty rude things to me today but im not gonna mention them cause it hurts to think about them. i never eat, i make myself sick when i do. i dont get wahts going on with my body. its just, not going with me. i always have feelings about when things are going to happen. and when me and my sister took the dogs for a walk i told her.. we have somthing bad comming. and now my mom is on the phone iwth my grandma saying "were probably going to sell the house and get a doublde trailor" no im happy with my 2 story house in a nice subdivision. just cause my dad is incredibly stupid, its his works fault taht he fell, they should give him a job, shit if i was him i'd sue. my mom is always the one that has to earn things. i give her respect for it. when we went to the gym today i wouldnt talk to her. now i think im ready to talk, so i guess i'll go do that. and cry some more casue thats all i can do now adays.. i hope i can get through this.
     (1 X your toxic)

07:23pm 09/12/2003
mood: crushed
bad news, cancer got the best of sherry. i love you. im glad your no longer in pain love cause it made me sick. my mom says its somthing i ate, but katie didn't get sick. i know why i got sick. im not a stranger to my own body. i dont deal with the dead very well so i take it out in sickness. i vomited all last night and had a fever today. im so far behind in school that htis really put me back. i have her funeral tomorrow then i have to be tooken out thursday for an ortho appointment. im just really in a big mess. its like one thing after another and yea i know that its my journal and im complaining and i hate complaining but yea and im always leaving my bookbag in my moms van. so she dont come home till ten so i dont have time to do it. all day long i sleep i dont know whats goin on. i really miss my mom. i really miss my grandma. i hate the fact she lives upnorth. its no fair. when she comes down to see me i get so happy. we always talk. i remember when i was 11 and i told her i wanted to die cause i was in a car accident. and she was the only person i told. we both started crying, i dont know what to do. im usually so happy this time around with all the holidays and shit. im not suicidal or anything ive just been sick. i mean my family decorated for christmas and like i didnt even help i just sat there watching them. who knows maybe i just wasnt in the mood but.. its just my mom keeps running from my sickness she keeps on saying its from the pill or she'll say its somthing i ate. i know my body and i know it well. i am not vomiting for nothing. i got up at 3 and didnt stop till 4 then i couldn't sleep for an hour cause of my fucking head was bursting. i never eat. i got an hour to sleep after that, my dad came in to wake me up and hejust looked at me and was like "are u getting up today?" and i was like "no, i cant." and hes like "have a rough night?" and i was just like yeeah dad. it sucks. i cant keep nothing down yet im not hungry but i have to eat, i've been sick since last friday. i could have pneammonia. i did last year around this time. i dont know. im just sick and im able to get back up. my mom thinks it has somthing to do with school and it has nothing. i mean sure i hate it but thats not the reason why i mean i keep up my grades pretty well. i dont know what to do. im scared. i have a feeling somthing bad is going to happen and i am gonna be in trouble. what ever comes, comes i guess..

rip sherry- i love you man. matt im here for you.

baby our love is like a bridge, were connected heart to heart <3
     (your toxic)

08:29pm 08/12/2003
mood: aggravated
well well... not is new. i got in an arguement with my sister cause i was putting circles on the paint thing for a mind map that i was supposed to do and i was all busy caught up in shit that we both got pissed cause she wanted to changer her away message and i was like fuck no you can wait 5 minutes. so we were just screaming at eachotteher and i dont like it when we fight, cause we fight over stupid shit. honestly shes so stupid i never fight with anyone excpet her and its when she screams at me is when i beat her up. end of story.
     (2 X your toxic)

friends only, biach!11   
09:14pm 24/11/2003
mood: creative

friends only banner and image hosting by rainbow_gossip. you rock, hokuto. thanks!
     (your toxic)