|I don't lie; I misappropriate my time. (December Recap)
||[May. 17th, 2011|02:38 am]
.,-=/^' 片想い '^\=-,.
December was weirder. My birthday "show" from Dean was soon to come and I had my birthday off (yes, they were on the same night). I went to the bar and got my Guinness and called my roomie from college, who lived close by, to see if she wanted to come out and have a drink. She came soon enough and turns out, her mom knew the owners, so they got in free and got me a drink for my birthday. A shot of 100 proof peppermint schnapps. Very nice.
And I had consumed a Guinness draft.
And another friend had bought me a birthday drink; yes, a 100 proof peppermint schnapps shot.
Yep. Bad tolerance = wasted in seconds, lol. I was texting with Aaron a little before it but mainly, I was talking to Dean, or trying to, when I had a chance, or his best friend, the drummer. Alissa had even brought her mom to the bar, too, so we all chilled out and talked about the crappy band that was opening for SIXandTWENTY. They left soon after, missing them play, but I was enjoying it. I had to start sobering up for the drive home in two hours, so I started to eat every thing Alissa had put in my birthday goodie bag.
Dean took me outside at one point and wanted to tell me how he was sorry that he didn't have anything but the show to give me on my birthday. He pecked me on the cheek and we went back inside. I didn't get lucky on my birthday, which was good. But now I was 25 years old.
Feeling like a loser.
But more on that later.
A few days before, and I made the "call to prayer" for his grandma. I called him once and got in touch with him a week later for just a couple minutes, but apart from that, subsequent calls and messages, once a week afterward, went unanswered, and he seemed to cut all ties with me. Why, I didn't know, but I was deeply hurt. How could he be so cruel, when I wanted to be his friend if nothing else, when his cousin who told me what he knew/could about him to help me date him? I didn't understand, but Aaron was supportive.
Christmas Eve, I was talking to Aaron about Miyavi and great acoustic guitarists after the oddly-awkward exchange at the Stahl's Christmas Eve get-together. My "aunt" whom I never see, bought me a size 20/24 blouse. "Oh, shoot. I'll exchange it and get you a smaller size" was the excuse she gave me as she took it back. No one, who had asked, believed the clothing sizes I gave them in response to my attire. But there I was, in the flesh, 60lbs lighter than last year. Let's say, I was relieved when none of the awful clothes picked out for me fit.
Christmas Day, Paul and I (The Brayden like uranus_sama had endured) were trying to get back on better terms. Jeanna and I had talked about Aaron, whom she had the fling with a month prior, but even so, I felt the distance I kept with him was better. I didn't want Jeanna's sloppy seconds (even though I was attached to Paul in a Stockholm Syndrome kinda way). That night, before work, Aaron called me, and I stood, standing by my open door, watching the miracle snow fall outside, telling him I was hoping he was having a good Christmas, all the while wishing I was standing there watching it with him. It had been 48 years since the last time it snowed here, on Christmas day.
I went to work that night, stuck texting Paul, but wishing I had Aaron to talk to when I got off in the morning.
I'll write about New Year's Eve later in the week. It was a rough, weird night, and I'd rather not type about it right now. But Aaron was there, supportive in my romantic endeavors, despite how he longed for me to come to him.