May 12th, 2004

beck

Wishful Thinking.

Nooo.. I have a lot of homework to do. Teachers.. Pfft. I swearrrr man.

Friday is the 8th grade dance. Damn I hope no one has a good time. My school it so corrupt right now with all the damned rules. I wish I could bring a freaking gun to school and kill them all. Then like.. flee to Mexico. Haha.
I was just kidding about that comment.. ehh.

Today was weird. No one talked much except for like at P.E. and I'm not a big fan of that class. Erin isn't going to be at school tomorrow or Friday. WTF?? I'm going to have no one.. technically I'll have someone, but no one with the name Erin, to endanger.

I need a day off. And a doctor's appointment. I feel like crap! Not litterally, haha. I still have my cold from last week DAMMIT! WTF??!!

I have to finish my homework or my teacher swill go all kung-fu on my ass.
  • Current Music
    Free Fall Without A Parachute // Sense Fail
beck

No where to go..

I don't feel the love.

No one in this household respects me. God dammit, if my own family doesn't, I don't expect my friends to at all. I feel so useless/miserable right now. Everything was fine until now. I guess I might just be moody... I don't know, but I'm sick of everyone acting like I'm invisible.

I wish I could go on a roadtrip now. Like.. right at this moment. Go to some small town in Ohio or something. If I left right at this moment no one would notice. Someone.. anyone. Come pick me up and take me to a town in Ohio. That would be grand.

Thoughts of actually going to P.A. to visit my aunt this summer have been growing stronger. I probably wouldn't enjoy it, but at least I'd get to leave Florida for a little while.

The thought that this year should have been the bomb, and it wasn't really just hit me. All this drama at school and at home is getting to me.

Can you believe it that my MOM and DAD and SISTER actually blame ME for giving them my cold? They were asking for it. How am I just going to blow my germs into the other direction when they're talking to me and about 5 inches away from my face?

To add onto my problems, I have to listen to everyone else talk about their problems then help them pick at it until it's gone. Forget becoming a damned psychologist, I'd break on the first day probably (or to be more realistic, the first minute on the job).

Most people know me as the loud, hyper, talkative girl. I just want some serenity. I'm really not that loud.. or hyper. Maybe someones, but I've never been hyper after eating candy/drinking pepsi products. I might be a tad talkative, but it's not to the point I'd make someone's ear bleed from talking too much... I think.


I'm going to go attempt to kill myself with a pillow now.

uggh.
  • Current Music
    Serenity // Godsmack