Sorry all, but I'm going to be leaving for awhile. I need to sort my life out.
Hugs to all
I have so much fun all by myself sometimes...
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Me: Elli, let's go to Olive Garden tonight.
Elli: OMG! I was just thinking about how I wanted Olive Garden! I neeeeeed the breadsticks!!! Today is my cousins birthday, maybe we'll go!
From the moment I knew we were going to Olive Garden I knew that I must not eat a thing until we get there. I want to make sure my stomach is as empty as possible so I can fill it up with those scrrrrrrumptious breadsticks and savory salad.
Me: Hi! Table for 4 please, first available.
Host: That'll be about an hour and 30 to an hour and 45 minutes wait.
Me: ::blink blink::...ok, thanks.
I walk outside and yell...What the fuuuuuuuuuuck?!?!?! Almost 2 hours to waaaaaaaaaait!!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaah!!!
Elli: Get a hold of yourself Trixi, it'll be ok! It'll be well worth the wait.
So we go on inside and have a seat in the waiting area. Elli and I are passing the time as best we know how in sucha situation...make fun or make some sort of comment about every person that passes.
Me: That girl over there sho is stacked in tha back!!!
Elli: Holy Shit! That is a dyke and a half, too bad the guy she's with doesn't know it!
Me: That asian girl over there is very pretty.
Elli: That man over there is the shortest man I've ever seen who isn't a midget or a dwarf!
I decide that I need to apply some chapstick to my parched lips and as I rumage through my bag to find it, my hand hits something. I immediately remember what it is and pull it out of my bag like it was the fuckin' heart of the ocean from Titanic...a York peppermint pattie. Sherene and I both look at eachother like....YUMMMY FOOOODD!!! I open the wrapper to see that the chocolate looks a tad spotty (a lil too much time in the purse if you ask me). Then Ellie says...Shit, I'll still eat it. Then I say...ME TOO! So we split it and savor it like it was the last food we'll ever ge to eat LOL.
After and hour and 30 fucking minutes they call us. YIPPEEEEEEEE! We order our food quicker than you can say PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS and then we start chowing down on our breadsticks...heavenly, hot, drippy breadsticks. Oh, they were wonderful! I lean over to whisper these sweet sweet words into my Elli Bear's ear..."This is the best fucking soda I've ever had in my life." I meant every word of it.
The food arrives, Chicken Breast stuffed with smoked Italian cheeses with pasta and sauce on the side...to die for.
Dessert...Berry Crostada...where have you been all my life? Your flaky crust...tantilizing. Your hot berries...titilating. Your vanilla ice cream topped with sweet sweet syrup...orgasmic. Ohhhh how sweet it is...It's something I'll always remember.
And that ain't the only reason I'll fuckin' remember it!!!
Right after we finished our dessert...
Elli: ::sniff sniff:: SOMEBODY FARTED!!!
Girl at table behind us: IT SMELLS LIKE ROTTEN EGGS!!!
Elli's 26 year old cousin Becka: OH MY GOD!!!
Waiter: I'M GOING BACK IN THE KITCHEN!!!
Becka's 5 year old daughter Cristy: Run away!!!
It was the most ungodly stench I've ever had my nose around. Yet, it smelled oddly familiar...Elli and I both guessed that it was one of those stink bombs that highschool kids drop in school to gross everyone out. Becka insisted that the stink bomb came out of someone's ass. Anyway, it ruined the whole shiznit, we didn't even have a chance to sit for two minutes while our food was settling in our bellies, we had to spring up from the table like jack rabbits to get away from the fumes....whatta waste.
As we're leaving, naturally, I yell..."Elli!!! Why the hell did you fart like that?!?!"
And naturally she charges at me like a bull. Eh, it was worth the laugh. lol
Despite the shit stank, it was a nice trip to the O.G. for dinner...hope to go again soon.
_jinx_in_pink_ aka Trixi (blame my parents)
It's the summer of 1957 and Harold goes to pick up his date,
Peggy Sue. Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a
duck tail hairdo.
When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers
and invites him in. "Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you
have a seat?" she says. That's cool. Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold
what they're planning to do.
Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the
malt shop or to a drive-in movie.
Peggy Sue's mother responds, "Why don't you kids go out and
screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."
Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says
"Yeah," says Peggy Sue's mother, "We know Peggy Sue really
likes to screw; why, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear.
Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening. A few
minutes later,Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt
with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go.
Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date
out the front door while Mom is saying, "Have a good evening kids,"
with a small wink for Harold.
About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue
rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and
screams at her
Dammit, Mom! The Twist! The Twist! It's called The Twist!"
So, it's official... I'm sick! I can't breathe, speak, taste or live. Work gave me off... let me go rope myself a flying pig. Anna (new boss)was actually nice about it too when I called this afternoon to make sure that I had the next 3 days off. Yowza. I wish I knew that I already had those days off sooner, not that I would have gone to work anyway. I stayed up all night yesterday watching season one of the Golden Girls and am only on the second disc of three. Before that I watched all the Harry Potter movies.. I should get to that homework I have to get done, but I'm already uncomfortable. Who needs it? What I do need is some really good strong drugs that'll knock me out until I am good again. Send 'em over here please.
What the fucking fuck?!
I worked 2.5 days last week and that equals 128 pounds. Plus the 11 pounds they owe me. Yay a whole 139 pounds for me and my broke ass. So, just now I went to get my pay and what do I find? Not a God damned thing! It wasn't there! Now I have to go and see my ex-Boss tomorrow and get my dough. Basterd.
Anyway... I used my 55 pound Blockbuster Giftcard and got Shaun of the Dead, Margaret Cho's Revolution and The Ten Commandments. I am happy with my buy. I wanted to get a few other things, but I was already 5 pounds over the limit. But yeah.
My father called me before and I never remember to save the message. They are the funniest things ever that need to be shared with everyone. " 'Allo! This is Victor, I am your faaaather!" I don't need reminding, Darth. Thank you very much
Okay, so I am back from vacation. Hooray--I mean boo. I would have liked to stay for the rest of the summer, but of course that couldn't be. I need myself a sugar daddy. Anyway, HBP!!! Finally the 6th book is in my hands.. the pages betwixt my fingers. Glorious. The last night of vacation and where was I? In a fucking book store getting my Harry Potter like every person should. I know who dies and I am only on chapter 2. How sad. It's even sadder that I fineshed the book... the last book I wasn't done by Augest, but I had to drive home and do a bunch of crap. When I came home though.. I found my computer not working. What. The. FUCK!? All week with no internet and now this? I am on my Aunt's computer right now and it won't let me check my mail. Again.. WTF!? Dell better get with the program and get some stores for people that need their computer fixed.. I need to go to Computerworld and do this shit.
So for now.. I don't know when I'll be online or anything and that is a sad thing to think about. Luckily, I'll have my HBP to take the pain away.