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Jessica Renee Pennington

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(no subject) [Jun. 27th, 2006|06:46 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
What is your full name:: Jessica Renee Pennington
Spell your first name backwards:: acissej
Date of birth:: 04/03/91
Male or female::  female
Astrological sign::  aries
Occupation:: student
Height:: 5'4
Hair color:: brown
Eyecolor:: green
Where were you born:: norton 
Where do you reside now:: Bold Camp
Age:: 15
Screen names:: 
What does your screen name stand for:: 
what is your livejournal name::_jesslove_
What does your livejournal name stand for:: me
Pets:: cats and dogs
Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake:: 15
Piercings:: ears
Shoe size:: 8
Righty or lefty::righty
Hearing:: tv
Feeling:: good
Eating/drinking: milk

- - When was the last time you..
cried: a couple of days ago
played a sport: yesterday
laughed: today
hugged someone:today
kissed someone: 3 days ago
felt depressed: yesterday
felt overworked: During School
faked sick:  school
lied: school

- -What was the last..
words you said: what!!!
thing you ate: ham and cheese sandwhich
song you listened to: pump it
thing you drank: milk
place you went to: School
movie you saw: idk
movie you rented:  idk
concert you attended: hoobastank

-Who was the last person you..
hugged: mamaw
cried over: ryan
kissed: ryan
shared a secret with: ryan
had a sleepover:@ 2 days ago
went to a movie with: Katelan and Rachel
were angry with: Ryan
couldn't take your eyes off of: Ryan
obsessed over: Ryan

- -Have You Ever....
Mooned anyone::  Yes
Been to a foreign country:: no 
Broken a bone::  no
Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling:: no
Swear at a teacher:: no
Talked to an lj member via emails or instant messages::  Yes

Got in a fight::  Yes
Dated a teacher:: no
Laughed so hard you peed your pants:: Yes
Thought about killing your enemy::  Yes
gone skinny dipping:: Yes
Met another lj member in the flesh:: Yes
Told a little white lie:: Yes
Told a secret you swore not to tell:: Yes
Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid:: Yes
Been on TV:: no
Been on the radio:: no
Been in a mosh pit:: Yes
Been to a concert::  Yes
Dated one of your best friends:: no
Loved someone so much it makes you cry:: Yes
Been to a rodeo:: no
Been on a talk show::  no
Been on a game show:: no
Been on an airplane::Yes
Got to ride on a firetruck:: Yes
Came close to dying:: Yes
Slow danced with someone you love: Yes
Participated in an orgy:: no
Asked a friend for relationship advice:: Yes
Had a friend steal your bf/gf:: Yes
Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love:: no
Gotten a speeding ticket:: no
Done jail time:: no
Had to wear a uniform to work:: no
Won a trophy:: no
PITCHED a perfect game:: no
Failed/got held back:: no
Got perfect attendance in grade school::Yes
Roasted pumpkin seeds:Yes
Taken ballet/karate lessons::no
atempted suicide:: no
Cut Yourself:: Yes

- -Love Life
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:Yes
If so, who are they:: Ryan Branham
Do you love them?: Yes
How long have you been dating?: 2 years
Do you have a crush?: No
Would you rather be single or taken right now?:  Taken
How many people have you dated this past year?: 1
How many people have you kissed in your life?: 4
How many people have you said "I love you too" and meant it: 2
Have you ever had a hard time getting over someone?: Yes
Have you ever been cheated on?:Yes

- -What Did You Do...
Last weekend?:  Sleepover
Yesterday?:  Sit
Your last birthday?: Eat
New Years Eve?: Sleep
Valentines Day?: Spend the day w/ ryan
Easter?: Church
4th of July?: Ryans house
Halloweeen?: Hand out candy
Thanksgiving?:  Eat
Christmas Eve?: Eat
Christmas Day?: Open Presents

I copied you haven!
Sorry! I didnt know what to do about an up date!
Love ya
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(no subject) [Jun. 24th, 2006|08:57 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
Wow.. surprisingly thursday was really fun. After we all ate, we all played 'look around the house' lol. just touring...the we pondered on what to do..so we went inside and played chubby bunny...really fun must I add.
If you dont gag yourself to death.

Afterwards...we came up w/ a great idea to spend the night w/ everyone...well that didnt work out so well. Though Emily and Tiffany and Ciara did stay...I wish that everyone could have stayed.

That tree sure did come in handy.

Wait...how does that cheer go again.

I'm hungry. Arn't we all.

What are those? Oranges.. Oh..I dont like oranges.

Are there people sleeping in here?

Who all wants eggs?...You..You...Just Tiff?

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(no subject) [Jun. 21st, 2006|07:44 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
I am so excited that I am going to have a cookout tomorrow....and Iam so happy.
So..everyone has to come!
If you dont I will bash your brains out with a skillet!

I love you all.

Well..I love Ryan branham.

In the past I havent given my friends any credit...so
If I forgot anyone..just mention and I'll add..unless I dont like you.

No names are numbered as to one person is greater than others.

I guess..that is it. lol.
I feel really bad about not going to church today. I really miss going.

well thast it for now.
love ya
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(no subject) [Jun. 13th, 2006|10:20 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
shew...dont you wish sometimes you didnt feel so selfish..well..I dont act selfish...but I know that I do feel selfish sometimes.

like now...
I wish I wansnt so chunky...
I wish that people could tell me the truth.
I wish that someone would take me to the movies...
I wish someone would take me out to eat.
I wish that I had a good tan.

Now...I feel better.

I am really sad b/c I wanted to go to abingdon thrusday...and I was going to be able to...but the hours during cheerleading changed and now I cant.
I am excited to get our uniforms.

I am just glad that I have friends to talk to.
OK> If you are my friend pleaase comment.
now...what will be really pitiful is if only like 2 ppl reply. haha.

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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2006|10:27 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
Today was sorta intresting.

I went at 3 to get a physical. It was very different..at least they didnt make me pee in a cup. I hate that. Just in case though...I did drink like a gallon of water just incase...because last time when I had a physical..I had to pee really bad at school..and I couldnt hold it..so when I got to the doctor...I couldnt go...it was so embarrassing.

This summer has been so boring. It feels like I have no friends. I want to do something with somebody...but every friend that I have is busy...
So which concludes that I have no friends this summer...except my boyfriend...and that is sad.......

So please someone make plans with me so I wont feel so depressed...LETS GO SWIMMING...SOAK IN THE HOT TUB...WATCH MOVIES...HAVE FUN!


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(no subject) [Jun. 4th, 2006|04:56 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
this summer so far has been so boring.
I have tried to clear my schedule for katelan and rachel, but I can either notget a hold of them, or they are busy.
This sucks. If someone really wants to make my summer come stay a few days with me...PLEASE!.

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just a little up date [May. 29th, 2006|01:22 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
This summer sure has been great.
Ryan and I are a strong as ever and heading on strong. I know that the rest of this summer is going to be awesome, b/c I will be spending it with my friends, as well as family.
I think that cheerleading this year is going very good. I am just loving it. We are really strong when it comes to cheers. All we need to do is work on stunts. I really want a good stunt group at least out of the 3. And I am CAPTIAN. I am so happy.......the power. lol. j/k. I just cant wait until our next practice..we need all of the practice we can get. I have also noticed that this year's group has a lot of differences. We all are not totally use to eachother yet...we really need a day to get to know eachother more. Well, I guess camp will come in handy with that.
Hope everyone has a good summer this year!
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(no subject) [Apr. 22nd, 2006|10:24 am]
Jessica Renee Pennington
This will be my last entry.
I am tired of getting comments from people that I really dont want commenting me. And I feel that is neccessary that I quit up dating on my behalf and others as well.
I will not delete my journal, b/c I will continue to read other people's journal.

Love you all.
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(no subject) [Apr. 8th, 2006|01:48 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
You love me.
I love you.
linkpost comment

I give up once and for all [Apr. 6th, 2006|09:18 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
Who the hell does he think he is.

I have tried for the past 2 months to keep this relationship together, making every kind gesture and showing my effection. Well tonight was the last draw. After all of this time of me trying to tell him that we need to change, and start loving eachother like we used to, he still stays the same. He doesnt even listen to me. I SWARE TO GO i AM GURNING UP IN SIDE! Why wont he listen to me. I just want to take a gun to my brains and shoot the everlasting drop of matter out of my stupid head. What even made me think that I alone could keep this relation ship together?
Now he calls up tonight and tells me that I am the one that needs to change....that I have not tried to do anything abou this complication. That I am starting every arguement. I am the one that is not showing love twards the other. I feel so close up...I feel sick and I just wanna puke my guts out.

God strike me dead. Please.
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(no subject) [Apr. 3rd, 2006|11:10 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
It is my birthday today. I am glad b/c I am 15 going on what it seems like 38, and I keep getting older. Well I am not glad about that part.

I have had a lousy (sp) birthday. Well I did have a good time w/ ryan this weekend...well not exactly with him, because all was annoy me and he couldnt do anything b/c of his ankel.(sp)

Ryan and I are having some problems. You know I really do try to do everything that he wants me to do and more, but it seems like here lately he has forgotten who I am. I show him I love him everyday by taking his books back and fworth for class and making he has everything, holding the door for him, and stuff like that, (b/c of his foot) and he allows it, along with everything else. He ignores me anyother time. I am not his girl anymore. I am just me these days. And I want to be someones somebody. Why has he forgotten me?

I hate the new time change. I cant go to sleep.!

I am out for now I think. I dont know if I am going to go to school tomorrow or not, I am just so upset.

Thanks to everyone who told me happy birthday.
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(no subject) [Mar. 27th, 2006|07:32 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
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(no subject) [Mar. 24th, 2006|09:49 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
If you are here to be with me,
I was meant to be lonely.
If you are here to guide me,
I was meant to be a lost.
If you are here to love me,
I was meant to be loathed.
If you are here to help me,
I was meant to be useless.
If you are here to soothe me,
I was meant to cry.
If you are here to remember me,
I was meant to be forgotten.
If you are here to live,
I was meant to die.

My accommodations over-whelm me.
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(no subject) [Mar. 19th, 2006|07:41 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
[mood |blah]

I close me eyes.
I see your face.
I pictured you,
Being here today.

You would have loved it.
You would have laughed.
You would have been so proud,
To know you left me happy.

Why did you have to go.
Did you want to go.
Did you have the life,
You wanted.
Does it hurt.
To know you left me.
Without much love.
Knowing it wouldnt be the same.
Did You even care.
When you left.

I'm sitting here.
With streams of tears.
Your memories,
I hold so dear.

Would You have cherished it.
Would You have had fun.
Would You have known,
That I am in love.

Why did you have to go.
Did you want to go.
Did you have the life,
You wanted.
Does it hurt.
To know you left me.
Without much love.
Knowing it wouldnt be the same.
Did You even care.
When you left.

I'm older now.
I've come closer to finding you.
In someone else's eyes,
I now know you. I hope.

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(no subject) [Mar. 6th, 2006|04:51 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
School today was easy and I had a good day and goodnight last night.
Had cheerleading meeting today. I guess I am still sticking w/ jv!
And tryouts are soon so I cant waite!

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I promised [Mar. 5th, 2006|12:42 am]
Jessica Renee Pennington
Ok. now I promised that I was not going to up date in this thing again...but this is the only exception. I am tired, cant go to sleep and I feel like I wanna cry.

It is 12:30 right now..and I am very sleepy.
I cant sleep because I am so depressed over some matters between ryan and me. I just feel so lonely these days. I walk with him and talk with him and dine with him, but I just feel so spaced from him. It is hard to even keep a conversation with him w/ trying to keep his attention. Am I boring? Or just embarrassing to be around?

I feel so seperated from everybody these days. I havent spent time w/ katelan and rachel since like last year almost. I talk to people in gym like erik and o/ people, but it is not the same. For one night I want to go out to eat with my best friends and eat and talk and have a good time. I miss those old days.

Ryan and I have only been out to eat formally once. At appleB's when we were in pikeville w/ his parents. That was probably the most fun I have ever had with him. Not to mention the family get to gathers his moms family always has. I love those things. I love you see the young chilren and I love talking to other people. I feel like on of the family. But now I can even hardly look his parents in the eye with out feeling coldness. I also remember the after partys at restraunts after football and basketball games. I loved those..but they dont aply to me anymore. They dont treat me as one of the family...which I guess I am just expecting too much...but they are treating me like his girlfriend. That is just one thing I really dont need right now.

I do nothing these days. I cant wait until I get to drive. Then I can finally get to be on the varsity squad, and go to most of the away games and I'll get to go out more with my friends.

I think when I grow up I am going to become a nun. Live a life of god, and forget about all of the complexed worldly things. Not to mention I would own 3 cats and be all alone the rest of my life.

You know I mad a lot of new friends this year during cheerleading. I wish I could spend time with them more. But I have to be friends with everyone that is youger than me. shew.

10 things I really want.

1. Eat out with ryan.
2. Resolve all problems btw me, him, and his family.
3. Be accepted.
4. Fit into a bikini :-)..I wish.
5. Not be able to cry
6. Have a birthday party.
7. Get better grades.
8. Find a family.
9. Move away from here.
10. Die before I am 30.

Dont you just hate being selfish and feeling bad for yourself.
I think I am going to go read the bible now.
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depressed [Feb. 23rd, 2006|04:24 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
Why does everyone have to change?
One day someone who you think is your friend will become someone that you have never known before. I hate this becuase It kills my soul with the audacity to suffer. Being in highschool can deffentally change someone for the good or worse than what they use to be. I have made new friends and lost old ones that I used to be really close to. Some of which have decided that they are better than me and the rest of the world, or they just have better things to do.
I currently have 2 friends that I stay really close to. No names mentioned. I wish I had more..but the outside world has sucked them in and they have lost all pride and now just walk around pleasing the selfish peers they are involved with everyday. I could safely say that I would love to move away from here. There are too many RUMORS, too little TRUST, and too much TIME on our hands.
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Shew ya'll [Jan. 18th, 2006|05:13 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
Shew Ya'll.

Today has gone by so fast since we had a snow day. Not to mentiont that nothing has gone my way today.
1. I wanted to so badly go to youth tonight...sorry to say that i am not going to get to because I have no way there. I want to go so badly. I havent been in like the past 2 weeks because of cheerleading, and I just feel really bad about not going and I want to go and I cant.
Somebody please come get me!
2. It didnt snow as much as I wanted it to.
3. I dont get to go to church.
4. I wanted my cat to get pregnant.
5. I wanted to go to church.

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(no subject) [Jan. 10th, 2006|09:26 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
I'm sorry.

I just need to talk to someone.
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(no subject) [Jan. 6th, 2006|11:23 pm]
Jessica Renee Pennington
Today has been so sore. The girls and I havent practiced in a while now...and yesterday we had a double game..and I swear..I am so beat! Not to mention..well...sore! I just cant wait intil I get to coach cheerleading in the years to come. sounds fun hu?

This semester I believe is going to be a whole lot more fun that It was last semester...except for geometry...HELL!...I swear that is the worst class I have ever been in! I recommend to anyone that is looking to persue a career in the future...like I am...I would stick to phychology...that way you could talk people into giving you their money.

You know..I have been dating ryan for a long time now. Well it hasnt been a long time at all, just a little over a year. You really get to know somebody in a years time. But over that time you just dont realize..I dont know.
When I look at him, it is just like looking at him for the first time. I learn something new about him everyday. I look forward to seeing him more and more. And I feel as if his family is my own...am I weird. Or is it love. Love I know is just an over power of much more than anything else. It's that single feeling of wanting to show someone something, but you just cant. I love ryan and I know he loves me...but, is this more, or less than love?

Well enough thinking for now..You know I get too caught up in thinking sometimes. Have you ever though about what it would be like if you wernt here. It wouldnt even feel like sitting in the dark..You wouldnt feel anything...it would be well...it wouldnt be nothing either because you wouldnt know what nothing is...well there wouldnt be any you. You wouldnt exist. It would be beneath hollowness.
Or have you ever though about how when you die you are rejoined with your family. And I really mean family. Your friends that you meet when you die..they become your brothers and sisters. And you know I just enjoy loving the special people in my life differently than I do my family...and if I die..I will go to loving them differently..I wouldnt be able to feel the passionate jestures of the ones I love dear. And as a christian I know that I shouldnt feel this way..but I dont want to die. I want to stay here and love....love passionately. And I want to be loved. I want to be IN love.
I am afraid to die. Die. I dont want to die. Sad. Happy? Death. Dead. To die. Alone. Confused.
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