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Date:2004-10-02 01:40
Subject:New Job
Mood: accomplished

Hezzay! New job is CRAAAAAZY -

Very cool - these people mean BUSINESS!!! "oh, we're giving you a dual Xeon 3.2 with 3Gs of Ram and a $1,500 video card - and did we mention that your 24" monitor is too small? - so the dual flat-screen 42" will be here tomorrow along with the 14" Sony NTSC Pro Monitor. Any thing else you need? Oh - and your render farm consists of 200 machines in an air conditioned room lit with blue lights. We call it, 'S.A.M.'"

All I heard today was "Anything else you need just tell us."

It's very different from what I'm used to - I'm afraid of becoming spoiled! But I shan't let that happen. for now - I will enjoy all the neat stuff! :-)

Last two weeks I had off - it was nice - time to recover - regroup - recoup - and clean my apartment, of course. The best time was spent with mah girlie - Red Rock - Hiking - Photographing - studying - just enjoying time together.

Yes - so this is a new chapter for me - a new branch - a very new beginning. And so far - it's been a very exciting one!

Luv u guys! g'night!

// jayse

(2 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-12-30 10:25
Mood: bouncy

Oooh la la this morning at 8:30am

rest at http://pix.jayse.us


Stay safe and warm everyone!!

// jayse

(5 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-09-25 20:44
Subject:Guess who I miss...
Mood: loved

This is long for my kind of journl entry. But I hope you'll read it anyway. :-)

Today held an important lesson for me... and I thought you might get something out of it as well.

I was at my local Einsteins Bagels, getting in some prework and writing on my laptop. I was a little down on myself. I've not accomplished anything big and great. Yet. I've not saved any countries, fed the hungry, launched a political career or anything of the sort.

So... I sat there - thinking - "What is going to be MY big contribution to this world?"

And I heard, and recorded word for word - the following conversation as it happened in the bagel shop.

It changed me...

Maybe sometimes... in this life... the smaller things are the biggest things you'll ever need.

// Begin Story >

“I’m eighty-eight years old.” Marty called across the room to another old man sipping coffee and a bagel. The other man smiled and nodded silently. Marty was a man I'd never spoken to - but each time I go to the bagel shop he is there - talking to whomever will listen.

“I bet…" he continued. "I bet I could be your father!”

His words were long and drawn out. Like a Jewish grandfather, I thought. Large silver rimmed glasses framed his round, balding head. His gold watch sparked as he sipped his coffee. “Remember when a cup of coffee and a bagel cost 15 cents? Remember that? That was a long time ago tho…”

“I’m not far behind you…” the other man piped in quietly.

“What’s that?” Marty asked.

“I’m eighty-two. I’m not too far behind you.”

“Ah” Marty Nodded. “Yep… well, eighty-eight. One step and I’ll be ninety!” he continued with a new vigor. His voice was rough but youthful, proud, accomplished. “I was married fifty-seven years… Married nearly sixty years and guess who I miss?”

The old man didn’t answer… just nodded in empathy.

“Guess who I miss…” he asked again. His lips moved together… not waiting for an answer. “Yep…” he looked away, “My wife.”

“She was eighteen! I was thirty-four.” He took a sip. “I married a baby! Yeah… Didn’t matter tho… I out-lived her anyway.”

The old man nodded with a sympathetic smile.

“I can’t believe it… I’m alone eighteen years now. I stopped working at 70. My wife got sick… I gave up a eighty thousand-dollar-a-year job – and I took care of her. Yep. Nothing more important.” He shrugged, taking another long sip. “So? What are ya gonna do…”

“Would you believe it? I got nobody left? Everybody’s gone.” He smiles again… “Yeah… So what are ya gonna do…”

Marty adjusted his glasses and swiftly moved his hand over his eyebrow. “Married nearly sixty years,” he repeated sadly.

“Guess who I miss…”

(1 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-09-11 21:45
Subject:My latest work
Mood: creative

My latest site design -

Clean and corporate for my company - Cytek Studios:
Be sure to click on Development (pure HTML/Java design) and the arts (flash)
I did the complete concepting and design and art direction on this one. They loved it. Check out the portfolio section for other work. :-)

In the Works today:
Salone Raji Flash site (still VERY rough!)


I shared design credit with a great guy named Osiris - and all Flash programming/interactivity etc. is mine all mine. :-)

So! Tell me what you think!

Back to work!


// jayse

(4 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-09-10 00:16
Mood: anxious

it's been so long since my last update...

I've been working non-stop - and have had no time whatsoever it seems for personal fun stuff - even journal updates. That's not healthy.

Tonight I'm cleaning out my closet. (literally)

It's been too long - and this clutter is REALLY getting to me. You know when you start yelling at your stuff, "Why are you hiding from me!!!??" that it's time for a little spring-cleanliness.

I miss you all - and I see from your journal entries that you are all busy as well. Never too busy for thoughts of each other tho.


// jayse

(3 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-08-28 23:37
Mood: melancholy

I'm glad you called last night. It was a really nice convo.

I'm glad to have you as a friend. You always made Porsha and me laugh hysterically when we'd hang out or when you'd come over to my place - and you were always great to be around. I know you've been through some tough stuff - ups and downs and arounds - but... I'm thinking about it now and I'll really miss you -

I always was happy to see you at parties and such. Always a welcome friend to see and chill with.

Still - I'm glad you're getting away from all this drama here. (a much needed thing!)
Have great fun in RI - but don't forget some of us here that will still be thinking fondly of ya.


// jayse

(4 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-08-19 00:38
Subject:My most recent purchase

My new computer:

Just released... The Tezro from sgi. 8 gigs of RAM, 128mb texture RAM, 4 R16000 processors, 4 terrabytes of hd

I'm running *inferno on it, a steal at only $520,000



so i'm dreaming...


// jayse

(2 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-08-18 13:05

nother test.


Date:2003-08-18 02:15

test -

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<span [...] verdana">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

test - <div><span style="font-family: "verdana">testing123</span></div>

<span class="num">testing 123 in verdana</span> hey 123 back in georgia

Got it! Chels - I finally figured it out for ya!

This LJ thing is goofie!

// jayse

(4 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-08-11 11:50
Subject:Blender Search Continues
Mood: nerdy

The search continues...

In response to comments,

Ozone - HELLA~ And SkyBlue Smoothies! I can't WAIT to see the mess!

And Molly - yes - I will photograph the mess for ya!

And well - *I* wanted the get the blender that had a little pouring spout and was all cute-like and had lines on where to fill the fruit up precisely etc.

but... uhm...

... mah hunnie was not impressed.


She says, "They only do that for newbies like you. We need a REAL blender." LoL

The search continues!

// jayse

(5 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-08-09 16:24
Mood: creative

Today is THE day!

It is...


We are going to go and get a BLENDER!

We are going to make smooooooothies galore!

We are going to make messes in my kitchen!

We are going to have FUN!

If any of ya all have blender tips - please post 'em up! I have no idea what makes a good blender!

Ames already told me NOT to put soda in it... it will explode! Which is a good thing because I wanted to make a Smirnoff Smoothie but yea... that would NOT have been good! ;-)

Love ya's!

// jayse

(3 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-08-08 23:30
Mood: sad

Requiem for a loved one...

My beloved goldfish... 'goldie'... has sadly, let the little bright life-force out of his little orange body yesterday... :-(

I really, really, really loved him. He was too cute...

And you know - sometimes you think about all those times you could have had together, but didn't. All those things you meant to say... That little plastic castle I always wanted to get for him but never did...

He never had things to play with. I was a terrible goldfish owner. I keep thinking that.

It's all too late now.

Goldie: You were a great fish.

I'll miss the way you used to love the green flecks.

// jayse

PS: Chelsea... thank you for taking care of him for so long. He loved it at your house.


Date:2003-08-08 14:12
Subject:She is...
Mood: melancholy



Date:2003-08-07 19:35
Subject:You'd think by now...
Mood: hungry

You'd think by now I'd know...

In all my years. (no jokes please!;-)

But I don't still.

I don't know how to properly eat blueberries. They are sitting in my fridge, and they look at me every time I open it. I don't know how to tell them, "It's not your fault little guys. I'd love to eat you. But what do I do? Do I 'de-seed' you? How? Do you even HAVE seeds? Do I take those little green things off you? What ARE those little green things? Do I wash you? With soap? I'm sorry little guys. You will have to wait. I don’t know how to eat you."

Come back soon hun... I'm starving without ya! ;-)


// jayse


Date:2003-08-06 01:17
Mood: grateful

for her
Feel desire deep inside,
burning stronger you can't hide
join the elements tonight
and see the light

When the darkness comes too strong
don't forget you're not alone
join the elements tonight
and feel ALIVE

~Neo Cortex

(5 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-08-05 23:56
Subject:These little things...
Mood: thankful

If you like my poems, let them

walk in the evening, a little

Behind you

then people will say

"along this road i saw a

princess pass on her way to

meet her lover (it was

towards nightfall) with tall

and ignorant servants"

~ee cummings

She was beautiful tonight, and all I wanted was for her to know it. A red rose, gloss-candy lips, an old-fashioned dinner-and-a-movie and she was radiant with happiness. It made me smile. Sometimes the smile was worn on my lips, sometimes it russled like butterfly-wings in my stomach - sometimes it was both.

These simple things make her so happy. Sometimes while I'm off planning my grand let's-be-oh-so-rich plans, she is just happy that I complemented the way her hair falls straight down and then slightly inward to frame her face so gracefully. And that sweater fits you sooooo perfectly!

...These little things.

For the next few days these little things will be missing. No late-night phone calls, no daylight radiance and smiles. I will be missing her.

- - And all those little, beautiful things.

// jayse


Date:2003-08-04 20:28

So I'm adding in some friends here and getting comfy... and I'm noticing that many people are very selective with their friends list... I think I'm too new at this LJ for that tho - becuase I just want to add everyone I know on here! :-)

You're all my friends - how simple is that?

I just like this way of keeping up with everyone. :-)

Back to stuff.

// jayse

(3 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-08-04 14:54
Subject:My new LJ-book!
Mood: chipper

It's finally here! My very own LJ. *picks it up and hugs it tightly*

I'm sure I will fill it with lots of good nonsense, pix and dusty words I haven't used in a long time.

This is just a test for layout purposes... must make it look nice asap. :-)

Luv to you all - 'specially muh gurl! :x

// jayse

(4 k-mnt | drop{ur}mezzm's-on+me)

Date:2003-07-29 20:40
Mood: crazy

this took place before everything else!


my journal