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I know I'm supposed to have my positive pants on. I am really trying. I know I should be super pleased with what my neuroligist said about me possibly having decades. The thing is, that's decades living with a giant tumour who may decide to get bigger and take more of me away. I am not okay with that. I don't like this watch and wait bullshit. It may be terrible to say but really I would rather have them try to take it out and fail and I pass away then live with this thing in my head for the rest of my damn life.

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