Kayt (_its_true_) wrote,

It's been a damn long time since I've updated this. I don't think anyone is actually reads these anymore. I know I haven't in a very long time.

Anyway I feel like this is a safe location to make a confession. I have a brain tumour. It's a glioma and I've named him Pierre. He sits in my left temporal and frontal lobe. That's about all I know about him so far. I feel like thats all anyone knows about him.

Honestly I'm scared about what this means for the future. I have a lot of questions I need to ask at my next appointment. I made sure I wrote them all down so I don't forget. Forgetting is something I do a lot of.

I miss my old life. I miss the knucklehead kids I took care of everyday. I miss the little squabbles I used to have to break up. I miss the cuddles and the kisses I got. I miss the adventures we used to go on. I miss everything. I get it though, can't really have a nanny that has a brain tumour. I'm too much of a damn risk. I knew I couldn't be their nanny forever I just didn't think it would end in the way that it did.

I'll be okay though. Pierre isn't going to break me.

  • (no subject)

    I don't know how to explain it. I feel emotionally just drained. I'm not even 6 months into this whole tumour process and I feel just done with it…

  • (no subject)

    Every night before I go to sleep I really wish to wake up in my old life. My pre tumour life. I miss that life. I miss it very much. I hate that I…

  • (no subject)

    I know I'm supposed to have my positive pants on. I am really trying. I know I should be super pleased with what my neuroligist said about me…

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