Once this AA school crap is over I'm gonna take a trip.
I'm gonna go to Iceland and have a grand time. I need to re-evaluate some shit. I have so many questions, so few answers and leaving the country sounds like a good plan. I can decide everything later.
My brain doesn't like me. It's totally official. I'm pretty sure my brain is commandeering my body and using it against me. I'm either really laid back, calm, relaxed, pain-free... OR stressed, thinking about everything (and i mean everything. good, bad, horrible, or great), anxious, and in pain/uncomfortable. It sucks... a lot. I have doctors telling me what's wrong and what's going on but then I have others that are saying that is wrong. Can they just get their shit together and maybe I don't know compromise before I give up on them all.
The doctor's aren't my issue. My brain is. It's an evil vengeful monster that must be stopped! I want a new one, a better one. One that will I don't know help me make SMART decisions. Like that whole "move back to Milwaukee thing" was the WORST idea I could have ever made. Yes, I made pretty okay new friends but it was not worth the weight gain, the loss of the best boyfriend I ever had, and amazing group of friends I had, or the mental distress, and drop in GPA.
I want to go back in time and re-write that part of my life. I wish I had never gone back to that place. It was stupid. I'm 21 years old and I have screwed up hard. People say, "don't worry you'll figure it out it will be okay" and I want those people to shut the fuck up for like a minute. Yes, It'll get figured out eventually and things eventually will be "okay"... maybe. But for right now I hate everything. I have no friends, I don't like meeting new people, i'm at "school" that I hate with a horrible passion, I can't stand the way I look, and nothing makes me happier than sleeping. Let's all get out our DSM IV 's and have fun. And what's funny, is I haven't developed a drinking problem or a drug problem.
I'm done... for now. I was told once I had anger problems, yes they are right. I wish I was someone better than me.
I have no friends... this sucks.
SO Today I decided to watch the SyFy channel. It's a lovely lovely place especially when they have 3 movies in a row! yay! This is what happened.
In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)
This movie is SO bad. Like REALLY bad haha. It's got Orc things, Mages, Burt Reynolds(Who is the King), Wood-Fairy-Nymph things, A hottie, and weather pattern's that don't make sense. This movie has everything a random sword fight movie needs... except dragons and Jeremy Irons lol.
Alright, I shouldn't like this movie but I really enjoyed it. Enough that I want to watch Firefly. I've heard about 10 million arguments about Joss Whedon (writer and director) and how awesome or horrible he is. I can't say he's either but I did enjoy the movie for the most part. Some cheesy moments, but also some bitchin' violence (and if you know me, you know I love my bloody nasty violence). I like the characters for the most part, some more than others. This movie redeemed the SyFy channel for the day haha.
Battlestar Galactica: The Plan (2010) - watching it as i type.
Okay, so i've never watched BSG ever! So, to say i'm a little confused would be quite true. It's interesting but I could sum up the entire plot in about ten seconds:
"HOLY FRAK CYLON! I think think they are a Cylon! FRAK! But my feelings for... shoot stuff! Oh Gods! Frakking Frak! CYLON!"
Yes. that would be about right I think. Well, I'll keep watching who knows, maybe i'll turn out to love it. I am rooting for the Cylons though.... is that wrong? OH OH GOD I'M A CYLON!
BTW: I'm back in the WP.
Has anyone ever had oops sex? Like the wrong guy/girl/situation/whatever? But if it was like less than 2 minutes does that count as sex? It got interrupted and I really don't want to count this guy.
Uhk. I feel like a Ho. I'm not a Ho... but I totally feel like I am.
I'm in Florida - I'm not excited about the New Year (whatever) - Sherlock Holmes rocked - I'm cranky - And all of you should listen to Talk Nerdy To Me on WPRK 91.5 on Wednesday night 9 pm(eastern) I'm on the show.
Also just a reminder - you know you love me... never deny it.