She Couldn't Be Happier (_iou_one_galaxy) wrote,
She Couldn't Be Happier

Fear my awesomeness!!!

Been going through my files, look what I found:

Honestly, I have to say, we are hands down the two most amazing people ever. And I do mean ever. These are the selected highlights of conversations that took place between January and May. There were several humorous sections about the pervy hobbit journals, but since they were of dubious taste and rather long and repetitive, they’ve been deleted to slim this baby down from 33 pages to a new and improved 8. Also not making the final cut was a lengthy conversation about something eric did to me. Not sure what, because at one point I got sick of bitching via AIM and called you on the phone. It was very heartwarming though. Damn, I should have saved the first mention of the imfamous Scotty. Eitherway, I figured since you have to start school and all that jazz, I’ll give you some entertainment. I also highly recommend photocopying and and forcing drumline to memorize to immortilize our spectacularnessAnd now, without further delay, I present to you, the highlights of our life:

A Lil Starshine: i just had to say the alphabet to figure if N comes before P
AtalantaNyx: does it??
A Lil Starshine: i'm an English major!!
AtalantaNyx: yes, exactly - you're not an Alphabet Major!!
(When I read this I had to say the alphabet to find out the answer!!!! OOOPS!)

A Lil Starshine: i'm taking weightlifting next semester
AtalantaNyx: smart!
A Lil Starshine:yeah i know!! i don't know how i'll concentrate with all the hot guys
AtalantaNyx: you are my hero

A Lil Starshine: you can have my grow a boyfriend if that helps!
AtalantaNyx: what the hell, why not
A Lil Starshine: don't you like my mullet definition? it's a tshirt
AtalantaNyx: i was laughing my ass off!
A Lil Starshine: i try
AtalantaNyx: and you succeeded
AtalantaNyx: like you always do
A Lil Starshine: hell yeah i do
A Lil Starshine: have i ever expressed my fondness for bull riders to you?
AtalantaNyx: hmmm, don't think so
AtalantaNyx: they're nuts
A Lil Starshine: i LOVE bullriders

AtalantaNyx: i say this in all sincerity: you are my hero
A Lil Starshine: you know something?
AtalantaNyx: wha?
A Lil Starshine: i'm my hero too. i never cease to amaze myself
AtalantaNyx: you never cease to amaze me either

A Lil Starshine: i'm taking weightlifting next semester
AtalantaNyx: smart!
A Lil Starshine: i don't know how i'll concentrate with all the hot guys
A Lil Starshine: yeah i know!! i was proud
AtalantaNyx: you are my hero

A Lil Starshine: man it's agood thing we're english majors
AtalantaNyx: i would die if i had to take organic chemistry'
A Lil Starshine: back back you evil creature! don't use those blasphomous words in my presence!!!

A Lil Starshine: "Who do you have to blow to get last bottle of bleach in Middle Earth anyway?"
AtalantaNyx: i thought you'd like it
A Lil Starshine: still the prettiest
AtalantaNyx: v. happy
AtalantaNyx: new diaries by someone else - almost as funny
A Lil Starshine: No longer even remotely pretty. Considering suicide
AtalantaNyx: Gollum: Day Five
Held captive by orcs in Barad-Dur. Have been forced to watch “Flipper” over and over until give in and tell them where Ring is. Damn evil methods of torture refined over millennia. Will not give in. Will remain strong.

Day Six
Orcs have switched to repeat viewings of “The Faculty.” Cannot cope. Have told them where Ring is.
A Lil Starshine: HEY!!! i like the faculty!! thaTS one of my favorite movies
AtalantaNyx: Too bad for Isildur’s Heir, who has no Horn of Gondor (and hobbits have expressed no interest in his stubble collection) since he obviously fancies Frodo. Sam will kill him if he tries anything.

AtalantaNyx: Sam will kill (Faramir, Gollum, Gandalf, Nazgul, Gimli, Boromir, Elrond) if he tries anything
AtalantaNyx: all those pervy hobbit fanciers!
A Lil Starshine: I KNOW!!!!
A Lil Starshine: Have been getting very strange letters from someone calling herself "Stacey" who wants to do obscene things to my elfhood. Fortunately have super-duper elf vision so can run away if I see her coming.

AtalantaNyx: Arwen: Day Two
Bored and lonely. Regret having sent Aragorn away. So what if he wanted me to dress up in a curly wig and hop around on my knees during intimate moments? Am sure other humans have equally odd hangups. Wish I could be interested in Elf men, but ever since debacle with Glorfindel back in Second Age when he accused me of copying his hairstyle, have given up on my own kind.

A Lil Starshine: lol
AtalantaNyx: Legolas got all shirty when I accused him of trying on my dresses. He says I have impugned his masculinity. What masculinity?
A Lil Starshine: Am quite sure Gimli fancies me. So unfair. He is waist height, so can see advantages there, but chunky braids and big helmet most offputting. Forsee dark times ahead, very dark times
A Lil Starshine: HAHAA
AtalantaNyx: saw ROTK again last night. V. hard to stop myself from laughing. Dratted diaries!
A Lil Starshine: Legolas may be hotter than me.
I wonder if he would like me if I was King?
A Lil Starshine: lol
AtalantaNyx: hee hee hee
A Lil Starshine: Legolas told me that a shadow and a threat had been growing in his mind.

I think Legolas might be kinda gay.

Nope, not King.
AtalantaNyx: HA
A Lil Starshine: My God, is everyone in this movie gay but me?

Not so sure about me either.
AtalantaNyx: In Edoras. King Theoden giving me attitude. He was all, "Are you King here? Last time I checked, I was King here. I'm lookin' around and I don't see anyone else with a crown on his head. Eh? Eh?"

Was forced to admit I am indeed still not King.

In revenge, stole his wallet when he was not looking and used it to open charge account at Gap of Rohan. Have bought matching poke bonnets for Gimli and Legolas.
AtalantaNyx: Unexpectedly victorious in battle of Helm's Deep, but celebration ruined by obnoxious postcard from Faramir, which included picture of himself on beaches of Osgiliath with tiny Ringbearer and fat companion, sharing a pina colada and wearing colorful shorts. Postcard reads:

Dear Aragorn,

Thanks for the Ring and the hobbits. They are small, but v. bendy. Just what I always wanted! Still have fond memories of that night we spent together in Minas Tirith. Love and kisses, Faramir.

God damn Faramir. Might as well just have let Boromir have the Ring and cut out the middleman. At least I know Sam will kill him if he tries anything.

Still not King.
A Lil Starshine: "Boromir, quit trying to cut off Frodo's head while he's asleep so you can get at the Ring."
A Lil Starshine: Hope am not turning into pervy hobbit-fancier like Uncle Windermir. Not after what happened to *him.* Merry and Pippin are cute little things, too...
AtalantaNyx: ring-wraith #5:Got slightly over-frisky with Ringbearer at Weathertop. Aragorn went all wonky and possessive and set me on fire. And indeed, Sam did try to kill me although did not notice had been hit in knees with frying pan until later on.

A Lil Starshine: haha
A Lil Starshine: Also, Sam gave me fabulous backrub and bubble bath. Platonic, brotherly love so wonderful. Wasn't quite entirely sure why he needed to suck on my toes, but am assured it has something to do with Elf medicine.
A Lil Starshine: Today Legolas began stroking my inner thigh with his bow.

Was stunned. Had no idea Legolas wanted the Ring too.
AtalantaNyx: LMAO
A Lil Starshine: Gandalf showed me very strange trick he can do. Apparently pointy wizard hat not just for show.

A Lil Starshine: JHockey301: so you like him
A Lil Starshine: no i like to make out with boys i despise
AtalantaNyx: hee hee
A Lil Starshine: stupid questions
A Lil Starshine: stupid answers
A Lil Starshine: i smell
A Lil Starshine: so i'm doing something about it
AtalantaNyx: i smell popcorn
A Lil Starshine: it ain't me
AtalantaNyx: nope, it's sweetmates'
A Lil Starshine: lol oh ok then
A Lil Starshine: be back in a bit
AtalantaNyx: k

A Lil Starshine: fucking communists
A Lil Starshine: it's all their faults
AtalantaNyx: damn it all!!
A Lil Starshine: them and those damn blue smurfs
A Lil Starshine: it's to early to be this stressed out
AtalantaNyx: smurfs????
A Lil Starshine: yes
A Lil Starshine: the smurfs are communist
AtalantaNyx: you got invaded by smurfs too?
A Lil Starshine: yeah
A Lil Starshine: little bastards
AtalantaNyx: fuckin little blue commies
A Lil Starshine: i know
A Lil Starshine: wanna join the circus with me?
AtalantaNyx: no more school for Frick!
AtalantaNyx: circus all the way!!
A Lil Starshine: no more school for Frack
A Lil Starshine: circus all the way!!
AtalantaNyx: the Frick & Frack act!!!
A Lil Starshine: Yeah!!
A Lil Starshine: gaaahhhhhhhh\
AtalantaNyx: go you
AtalantaNyx: and me

A Lil Starshine: i'm telling you, the chicken isn't squirrel, it's students who pirate music!

AtalantaNyx: does everyone ask "who the hell is Frick?"
A Lil Starshine: you know.... not really
AtalantaNyx: yes i do
A Lil Starshine: wait
A Lil Starshine: what?
A Lil Starshine: color me confused
A Lil Starshine: which is an off white in case you were wondering
AtalantaNyx: i'm having one of those days too

AtalantaNyx: and i have to do more calc
A Lil Starshine: i won't get to start till about 12am
A Lil Starshine: calc is evil
AtalantaNyx: and i have a brit lit paper on BLAKE (BLEH!) for thurs
A Lil Starshine: why don't you listen to me
A Lil Starshine: ewwww BLAKE he has cooties
AtalantaNyx: not list'ning, not list'ning

AtalantaNyx: is misjudgement a real word?
A Lil Starshine: i thought so....
AtalantaNyx: me too, but spell check doesn't think so
A Lil Starshine: hmmmm
A Lil Starshine: spell check=satan??
AtalantaNyx: no, microsoft=satan
AtalantaNyx: spell check=denzien of hell
A Lil Starshine: but spell check is by microsoft
A Lil Starshine: so spell check = spawn of satan?
AtalantaNyx: spell check=fallen angel
A Lil Starshine: either way
A Lil Starshine: damn eric and his horrible distraction of me
AtalantaNyx: EVIL
AtalantaNyx: the spell check, that is
A Lil Starshine: yes
A Lil Starshine: ok time to go be productive
AtalantaNyx: *snort of disbelief*

AtalantaNyx: yes, but some are more so than others
A Lil Starshine: lol
A Lil Starshine: poor richards almanac is a bunch of horrible horrible bullshit that only benefits middle class men
AtalantaNyx: ok
AtalantaNyx: lol
AtalantaNyx: i take it you were force-fed franklin in american lit
A Lil Starshine: whatever gave you that idea?
AtalantaNyx: shot in the dark, really
A Lil Starshine: LOL
A Lil Starshine: yes it's horrible horrible bullshit
A Lil Starshine: he was quite the bastard you know
A Lil Starshine: had multiple illigitamate children
AtalantaNyx: literally AND figuratively
AtalantaNyx: wow
A Lil Starshine: and jefferson slept with his slaves and didn't free them when he died because he was 1 million dollars in debt
A Lil Starshine: THESE GREAT MEN founded our country
A Lil Starshine: and people wonder why bill clinton let monica lewinsky play with his dingaling
AtalantaNyx: WOAH!!!
A Lil Starshine: LOL
AtalantaNyx: LMAO
A Lil Starshine: thought you would enjoy that
A Lil Starshine: atleast i'm learning something
AtalantaNyx: and the funnest shit, too!
A Lil Starshine: lol yeah
A Lil Starshine: my prof goes, and in case you haven't realised yet most english profs aren't to tightly wound
AtalantaNyx: it's true!
AtalantaNyx: and hippie math profs, too
A Lil Starshine: thats a contradiction of terms
A Lil Starshine: hippie and math prof
AtalantaNyx: no, it's a paradox
A Lil Starshine: contradiction, paradox, same dif
AtalantaNyx: yeah, whatever
AtalantaNyx: it's true!
A Lil Starshine: thats a scary combination
A Lil Starshine: thats like the two evils of the universe united
AtalantaNyx: in a very entertaining and amusing way
A Lil Starshine: i swear the two most common phrases in my vocab are damn hippies and damn math professors
AtalantaNyx: BWAH HAH HAH!! FEAR ME!
AtalantaNyx: um, did i just say that out loud?

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