April 4th, 2013

J-stoppokingme

this is not a rant (you *€&%Ü*)

I wanted to betterise this before reposting here, add links to the people you wouldn't know, polish sentences - but I should just give up trying to get my point across.

The photo actually is of Eddie Izzard, which I'm not sure ppl believed me either.



I wanted to tell you that he’s touring from Finland to Bulgaria this time! check it out! you might not see any ads, ppl like gaffsie? might want to see him close to home! But I can’t - I have to advise you strongly not to go.

Not just because it’s a disgustingly huge sum of money he demands for a measly 60 min alone on stage - I never paid that much for anything before, incl. for whole bands that I really love, incl. huge stage productions. It’s obscene.

Mainly because if you love(d) him like I did, and not just got to know him recently, you just shouldn’t do this to yourself. You might have heard he got better after the urks that was his last (two?) shows *looks at nn* but that was a lie or wishful thinking. I’m not even mad or overly emotional, but if you can keep that love-that-was alive, then hang on to that (like a Hobbit on a cliff face).

I’ve known him since just before his first recorded tour, loved him since that first sketch I heard on a tape. The sudden hype at the time of USA/more-transvestism bemused me; the film roles were meh. But I was shocked by the shows where he proved to be a stupid bigot, proud to never read anything, yet lecturing the audience on things that are common knowledge. I can’t even reblog gif sets about his sketches on religion, they are so 1970. NOW he talks of “invisible people” - 10? years after Jimmy Carr did the invisible friend quip that cut the crap. When he does 20 min on “why would you sacrifice people and goats to gods” I just want to shout “because it has to be something precious to you, you idiot”. I’d have loved to see nn’s reaction at him saying, nay, miming, that ministers with big hats killed those sacrifices.

There was one joke in the show. It was probably improvised: “auto-didactic - that means I can drive a car under water”. There, now you can save that money and go see Jon or Simon. They’re not spring chickens either, but at least they have some material. A NONION is lots of material compared to Eddie’s, who had none, and told that unfunnily.

So, there is no force majeure, not even a mineure, but the real problem is qu*il n*est pas sympa(thique)! He had a German comedian (not Henning, there is another one, more famous) open for him, and although the Germans are not allowed to do ANY material apart from Nazi related stuff, and although I’m not a fan, that guy was actually BETTER. He also made eye contact - I sat in the very first row, the stage was only half a metre high and very shallow. Fritz was quite amusing despite having ripped off and copied Eddie for YEARS. I don’t understand why this lead not only to fame but friendship - except I do: it’s flattery, and Eddie has a huge ego. And Fritz went from verbatim theft of Star Wars cantina to copying the whole schtick, the rhythm and ticks of (old) Eddie, except it now seems more natural on him. Collapse )

On Stage, Eddie looked like a cross between Rufus Hound and Ron Swanson (Community). Also like a real wee-little-puppet-man (ETA: Noel Fielding actually does pull it off better, I belatedly realise), but we knew that already: the huge head, no neck, FFOB. His hands aren’t nice. His bulge is still pronounced, which makes his rant against what ballet dancers wear all the weirder.

He doesn’t do requests. Except he did. He did Sean Connery but was pissed off about someone asking for it and said he didn’t do it for him, just because his brain liked it. He also started the Star Wars cantina, just as another reference, applause waved away magnanimously, ending just as abruptly by TELLING us that this “evening” (hour) was to show us that we are the enlightened people, the force majeure working for a better tomorrow.

At the end, I had learned only one thing: the reason why he’s now going to do his show not just in French but also in German. (translating is easier than writing anything new - wtf is this guy doing, everyone has SOMETHING new to tell after five years).

He was literally said to be in a “tremendous” mood though, and that it was going to be a fanfuckingtastic show. It was surreal for me, and I’m very very sad - just as deliriously happy as my 15? yr younger self would have been. Spare yourself that
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