κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα (_inbetween_) wrote,
κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα
_inbetween_

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my sun my moon my east my west

that line makes literal sense now

Kobold was my satellite, always around or above or beneath me
-i- already missed her physically just when -i-m at work
even at the zoo

she was the quiet one
the tiny squeaks that already amused as a kitten never turned into meows
(except when later on she really really tried to be heard, then it was very rusty squeaky yowling; even when one inadvertently hurt her she wouldn't make a sound the stupid little bear)

she loved to lie under my only curtain, the lace like a mantilla over her head
she wouldn't run around (other than as described yesterday), but her short arms could shoot out with perfect aim and precision to catch something
shereallylikedme

Kendra has stopped looking and started crying
she went into the death carrier and she just sits and stares at me, no longer listening or searching, just uncomprehending looks at me, waiting for me to bring back her life mate
she s not even greeting me at the door

-i- can t eat yoghurt or anything anymore
-i- understand now why couples split up after the death of their child, rather than help and find comfort in each other

my hands miss Kobold
my arms miss her
my chest misses her
my legs miss her




ETA:
The autopsy hasn't found anything that could have caused her dying; my only hope is the oncology (toxology? brain and organ samples) now.

Thank you so much, grey and K, for your understanding and sympathy.
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