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[The Original] ---+ Imaginary Fears +---

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[ Goodbye to all. ] [13 Oct 2004|05:30pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

Right, listen up everyone.

This is my last update ever.

I'm leaving LJ, it has become so much more boring and crowded and all that shit.

I will check back occasionally, to see how my friends are doing etc.

But no more updates from me.

If you want to get a hold of me, I'll leave my msn address up on my userinfo page.

I can also be found on MySpace. You should sign up too. S'rad.

Right, I shall bid my goodbyes now. And please, do not leave a comment just to beg me to come back (not that anyone would anyway ¬¬;). I won't.

Take care everyone.

sbeen a good one.


Rie x x x
Sing a song and wave my goodbyes.

5 flowers on my grave Throw me a flower

[ Woop. ] [10 Oct 2004|01:52pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Just wanna tell you not to disturb moi...

-browsing through EBay like a maniac-

Oh yes, try not to let me withdraw too much money from my account either if I'm in town with chu. S'not healthy. >_>;

Rie x
I'm really getting sick of myself.

4 flowers on my grave Throw me a flower

[ UNDERWEAR, wh00t!! ] [09 Oct 2004|04:47pm]
[ mood | content ]

Friday was peshalicious, that's all I have to say.

-went to Hatch End to a gig-

Tonight was shite, however. The gig's line-up sucked the USA's richest's guy's cock, except for Subversion. ^^;

-looks to Emma on msn convo-

M'gosh woman, answer me. Are you masturbating over my webby cam piccy or wh00t?? XDDDDD <3 you really. ^^

Uhh... Yes. Gig. Uhh... not much to say.

I have decided what I'm gonna dress up as for the Halloween gig. ^^;

OMGWTF I saw my stepdad in town today. S'been a fucking whole year since I saw him last. I was VERY close to a panic attack, sheeeeesh dude. >>; I do not appreciate him doing that, no.

Yus, so messa had a healthy shopping spree today... Uhh... I bought new pair of tro-housers from H&M, some more hairdye, black eyeliner, lots of CANDEEEEH (spafe!!), an early christmas present for Patrik (Tony Hawk Underground 2 for PS2), uhhh... lots of random stuff like food and drinks and blah blah.... WEBBYCAM ^________^;; and uhh.... what else... Uhh... Oh yah, Bed Head shampoo. ^^;

... ... I have no idea what else to type, my brain's buzzing with stuff.

I'll leave this at that.


Rie x
And I'm sick of the voices that are in my head.

2 flowers on my grave Throw me a flower

[ Fucking brothers, they should all go and die. ] [08 Oct 2004|01:24am]
[ mood | suicidal ]

I'm on the verge of tears again.

It's not enough that I have bad stomach cramps, no. I have to have my little brother at home as well who started just arguing with me after I told him to go to school. He's currently sitting on the sofa, refusing to go and it's 9:25am already. He doesn't realise it's not him who's gonna get the bollocking about it, it's our mom. She might be even arrested if he keeps on staying at home.

He wants me so dead. I feel so hurt at the moment I do want to kill myself. I don't want this shit of a life anymore.

Everything's going downhill once more. My education's not looking good at all. I feel empty inside.

I'm sorry, everyone.

From now on I'm not going to speak to people much.

Just..... When you see me.... Leave me be, don't keep asking those fucking questions. I don't want hugs or kisses either.

I want to be left alone.

Got that?


Rie x
I walk amongst the living dead.

3 flowers on my grave Throw me a flower

[ Up yours!!! ] [07 Oct 2004|03:07pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Sheesh I had a funny evening. Wh00t.

I've been having such shitty days I felt tonight was hilarious. T'was, actually.

Patrik's friend Danny came over our house around 10pm, and was stoned off his face. Well, I took him up to Patrik's room and we discussed about his dealer, might be buying some schtuff soon. -nodding-

Well, me and Pat took him home then, and we got invited inside to play darts. I was up for it, and so was Patrik.

We met his stepmother, and she's wacky as hell. Her and Danny started playing Clock, and to be honest I've never heard anyone use so many different swearwords within 20 minutes. We talked alot as well, t'was pretty entertaining.

Then my mom called to ask where me and Pat were. After the phonecall D's stepmother said how beautiful language finnish was, and D asked what "Hello" was in finnish. I said he was a mieshuora and told him to fuck off. After a few seconds of silence we all burst out laughing and started to imagine a teacher saying "Hello" to D and he'd reply "Fuck you!" with a sweet smile and a thumb up.

When we were leaving they asked what "Goodbye" was, and I said "Up yours". So this became another trend, bwhahahahaa. And also "Get in" is now "Piss off!" and grounded is a "-grabs one by the scruff of neck and kicks-". Ooohr, t'was funny.

When we were walking away from their house, they started shouting "Up yours" from the open window, and we answered it back several times. I bet the neighbours loved that(!).... D even ran after us and yelled "Fuck you" so we of course had to reply in the same manner.

I haven't laughed this much for a time, and I'm happy that I got to laugh tonight.


Shit. It's now 11:25pm, and I still have quite a bit of college work to do. I knew I wasn't gonna get it done today, but I'll try. I'll stay up all night again, doing absolutely shite work. But hey.... S. Chambers probably hates me anyway. He doesn't seem to like any of us who belong to the little group.....


Oh well, you can't please everyone.

"Up yours!!"

Rie x
An angelgirl with an up-turned face.

Throw me a flower

[ Public transports and little kids... Psh. ] [05 Oct 2004|08:01pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Fucking bus drivers and trainpeople and little divas have no respect for me what so ever, none at all.

I'm pissed off now.

Thursday, methinks twas, the bus was 1/2 hour late. When it finally came, twas two S2s at the same time. Fuckers.

Yesterday was hell. Finished college at 12:15, twas nice. Went to Costa with Bex and... uhh... talked. <3 Afterwards I walked to the station and find out there has been a slight delay.

Slight my ass. Saw Magic-Mike and he told me he and his friends had been waiting on platform 11 for an hour or so, and still no train. So I sat down and waited... and waited... and waited. What do I get??? A train, 45 minutes later. There had been an "incident" at How Wood station. Pfffft.

Then today.... Bloody hell. At Rising Stars, the second group are girls around the age of 7/8. There is this one girl who is a serious diva, in my opinion. Today she was so bitchy I nearly gave her a warning. Bloody hell. She came in and glared at me for a few times... Then she told me my hair was horrible. I thanked her politely. Next she said my shoes are ugly, but not as ugly as me. Again, I thanked her politely. Then she told me she disliked my clothes. AGAIN, I thanked her politely. Towards the end of the session, she came up to me and said she wanted to pull my lipring out. That's when I snapped politely and told her if she did that, I might just have to kick her out of Rising Stars. Then she told me not-so-politely that if I did that, her 'dadda' would come and rip out all my piercings and my hair and pull my eyes out and break my glasses.

She doesn't like me too much, does she?


Rie x
'Cos when I look in the mirror I see somebody else.

4 flowers on my grave Throw me a flower

[ x___x ] [03 Oct 2004|08:45pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

I'm tired of everything going wrong in my life.

I don't even have the self confidence anymore to leave the house.

I don't know what I can do, or say. I feel lost and alone.

Hmm, we're all alone really, no matter what anyone says.

... ... ...

... I'm in my emotional mood again.


Rie x
I can sow myself in sorrow.

11 flowers on my grave Throw me a flower

[ Nyaheh ] [03 Oct 2004|01:15pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Because I got home at 2:15am last night, I'm updating about yesterday now. Fuuuuun.

Went to work in the morning, which wasn't nice at all, seeing I haven't had any sleep for the 2 nights before. Kids behaved all right though, so it wasn't that bad.

After work I quickly nipped home and went to town to meet Alisa. We went to Wagamama and talked alot about everything and nothing. It was nice, I haven't seen her properly for a while.

I also went to Toni&Guy, booked an appointment to get my hair cut again, and also talked to Tori about the photoshoot. ^^ She's gonna gimme a ring soon. Wh00t!

What else did messa do yesterday....? Oh yes, went babysitting for my boss, Fenella. O_o; This time the boys were behaving themselves, which really surprised me. Their dad even told me that they were looking forward to see me, although I see them every tuesday and wednesday in drama. O___o;

... And I just realised how I cannot type today. I have so far corrected at least 12 typos. +__X; This is no good. I look like a fool... to myself.

Sheesh, talking to 5 people on msn at the same time is pretty hard if your laptop keeps freezing for 10 seconds each time you say something. Gah.

Tis a piccyture James drew of my character. ^^ <3 it.

I don't really know what else to type about, my week was shite and I hope next week would be better. Although I can kinda guess it's not gonna improve at all.

Rie x
I'm dreaming about tomorrow.

Throw me a flower

[ @___@; ] [01 Oct 2004|07:11pm]
_ImFe's Word Usage
1. i (161) 26. your (23) 51. how (13) 76. today (10)
2. the (140) 27. now (22) 52. not (13) 77. much (10)
3. and (129) 28. i'm (22) 53. uhh (13) 78. go (9)
4. to (120) 29. so (22) 54. then (13) 79. that's (9)
5. a (94) 30. but (21) 55. anyway (12) 80. right (9)
6. you (90) 31. there (19) 56. got (11) 81. what (9)
7. my (57) 32. know (19) 57. created (11) 82. an (9)
8. it (53) 33. like (19) 58. day (11) 83. quiz (9)
9. of (53) 34. went (19) 59. little (11) 84. it's (9)
10. was (45) 35. yus (19) 60. off (11) 85. yellow (9)
11. on (45) 36. oh (18) 61. back (11) 86. memegen (9)
12. in (44) 37. up (18) 62. good (11) 87. effing (8)
13. me (44) 38. be (17) 63. am (11) 88. night (8)
14. that (37) 39. are (17) 64. years (11) 89. out (8)
15. all (31) 40. no (17) 65. get (11) 90. here (8)
16. this (30) 41. o.o (17) 66. about (11) 91. car (8)
17. x (29) 42. had (17) 67. i've (10) 92. orange (8)
18. for (28) 43. by (17) 68. as (10) 93. lj (8)
19. have (27) 44. he (16) 69. time (10) 94. also (8)
20. xd (27) 45. do (15) 70. wanna (10) 95. some (8)
21. rie (25) 46. well (15) 71. say (10) 96. dream (8)
22. we (25) 47. don't (14) 72. yes (10) 97. baron (8)
23. with (25) 48. because (14) 73. one (10) 98. old (7)
24. just (24) 49. at (14) 74. feel (10) 99. she (7)
25. is (24) 50. see (13) 75. if (10) 100. who (7)
Word Count by Hutta.

... ... Interesting.

Have I really said 'baron' 8 times??? 9 now. O.O;

Rie x
And my scars remind me that the past is real.
2 flowers on my grave Throw me a flower

[ -deep sigh- ] [01 Oct 2004|07:03pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

-sighs deeply again-

My mom and my brother are arguing again. I wanna get out of the house.

My week was shitty as hell, only misfortune throughout the 5 days so far. I bet chu all that tomorrow everything's gonna go wrong, and on sunday, and then I'll die on monday.


I hate all this shit that's going on in my life. I just... can't take it. I just want to inflict pain on myself, feel the physical pain for change.

... ... ... Or am I overreacting?

Rie x
This is just a story of a broken soul.

1 flower on my grave Throw me a flower

[ ... ... ... ] [30 Sep 2004|12:30am]
... ... ... My soul is in a coma...

Rie x
... and none of my friends can tell.
2 flowers on my grave Throw me a flower

[ Hawt hawt hawt oh yes. ] [30 Sep 2004|12:25am]
[ mood | cold ]


-falls over-

That's all I have to say. OMG!


Went to Pioneer tonight and I swear by the sweet mother of pearls that I saw the hawtest pesh there ever was, is and will be.


There are NO words to describe him. And that's pretty darn hawt if you ask moi.

-breathes out-

Good that it got cleared up.

... ... ...


-clears throat-


Rie x
A kingdom for a digital camera.

1 flower on my grave Throw me a flower

[ Officially obsessed with these quizzes. ¬¬; ] [29 Sep 2004|12:12pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Your LJ Prison by redfrog021
Favorite Deadly Sin
You are convicted ofYou Have a Mullet; FASHION FELONY!!!!
And sentenced to15 years
Abusive redneck guardi_heart_ny4897
Easy to bribe guardsunflwer258
Wants to make you their bitchgrimothy
Drops soap in the shower on purposeshark_repellent
Works in the laundry and smells people's undiesblackwidow1988
Comes to see you for 'conjugal visits'cryingblack
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What stupid celebrity are you destined to kill? by daydreamer8852
You killed
With a
OnApril 5, 2012
Quiz created with MemeGen!


Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn
Your name:
Weapon of Choice:Plastic bag
Your Favorite Target:Nuns
Your Kill Count:1,495,879,575
Your Battle Cry:"Allow me to molest your face with this rod!"
Years You Spend in Jail:29
How Much Money In Damages You Cause:$121,758,109,124,199
Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 28%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Generate your Anime Style by Jena-su
Hair:Short and brightly coloured.
Clothes:Little by way of actual clothes, but lots and LOTS of really cool accessories.
Powers:Elemental control
Special Features:Elf ears
Sidekick:None, you have no need for a sidekick.
Attitude:Extremely smart and cheerful, maybe with a big brother/sister complex.
Weapon:A ribbon dancer
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I like this one. O.O;

Your LJ Halloween Party by Karen_Walker
You're Dressed Asa Stripper
The Rock Starcryingblack
The Naughty Nurseoversized
The School Girlxinnerxblondex
The Witchdisintergrating
The Care Bearfauxreality
The French Maidcharms_elf
The Dominatrixdarkerena
The Clowngrimothy
The Cowboybloodytwisted
The Porn Staranimeg151
Quiz created with MemeGen!

LJ Battle Royale! by monmonito
Weapon you got:Shotgun
Your goal in the game:To be enlightened.
Number of students killed:24
For fun, you kill:mikkopaananen
Out of a personal vendetta, you kill:bazzarati
Accidentally, you kill:grimothy
You have an alliance with:yetii
You develop a puppy-love romance with:shark_repellent
Watch out for:sunflwer258
Percentage of survival possibility:: 60%
Dying words:"Will you look at that."
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Okay okay, enough for now.


Love the quizzes, yush I do.

Now, I wanna see all of you people do these ones as well.


Rie x
Just walk away.
Throw me a flower

[ O..O ] [29 Sep 2004|11:47am]
My lj wedding by chynafox
you will marrykatters279
flower girlbazzarati
best mangrimothy
you will have your last fling withcryingblack
secretly wants to marry you themselflima_bifrost
date of the weddingSeptember 15, 2048
number of times you do it on your wedding night11
Quiz created with MemeGen!

This is slightly scary.... Hmmh.

Rie x
Walk this way.
4 flowers on my grave Throw me a flower

[ LMFAO! ] [28 Sep 2004|08:17pm]
Your Erotic LJ dream by cozzette
you went to bed feeling
You began to dream aboutrayneku
who wasdoing you
ina strange place only you could describe
witheveryone watching
which made youlimp/dry
but was interupted bychibikitty
who began towatch
You awokescreaming
and you hopethat dreams do come true
chance of that happening:: 7%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Yeah, like, totally, like, it's gonna happen, like.

... ... She living in Michigan and all. XD

Rie x
I left my heart open but you didn't understand.
Throw me a flower

[ OMGLIKEWTF Rie is back online. o.O ] [28 Sep 2004|07:35pm]
[ mood | numb ]

Yes boys and girls, I'm back.

... like someone would care.


Life's been treating me like a biatch for the past week. I've noticed myself go into the depressed mode more and more often until 2 days ago I felt like... like I did a while back.

I'm not happy about anything at the moment, and I wish to be left alone if possible. Especially when I'm in college.

I feel that only my closest friends are worthy enough of my company at the moment. That sounds mean, doesn't it?

I just can't take all the hugging and 'comforting' words from people I don't know that well.

Yeah. That's all I wanted to say really. I don't know who reads this, I have addressed this to a few people who I however won't name. You'll know who you are if you read this.

--- --- ---

I am awake under this blanket of fear, and I must say, none of the people I see belong here, now everyone's asleep, I am
awake and I am dreaming, I believe it's time for a rude awakening


So hold on to your dreams, Because your nightmares might seem like they're your reality Hold on to your dreams, Because
your nightmares might seem like they're your reality

I believe, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and the man behind the curtain, I heard him say, "Dreamers have
become an endangered species", and I am aware of the rude awakening


I'm falling in my dream I finally hit the ground,I'm falling in my dream I finally hit the ground, I hit the ground,
because I, I can't keep my mind from going into dark places, because I, I can't keep my mind from going into dark places


I'm falling in my dream I finally hit the ground, I'm falling in my dream I finally hit the ground

--- --- ---

So there.

Rie x
When you cut me in two, I never thought I'd bleed.

Throw me a flower

[ Fwhee! ] [24 Sep 2004|06:33pm]
Your Ultimate One Night Stand... by crispnite
LJ Username
Favorite animal
You invite over...
They bring...
You talk about...
You end up...dropping acid
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Wow. Sheer brilliance. XD

Rie x
Go fix yourself.
2 flowers on my grave Throw me a flower

[ Uh hummm ] [24 Sep 2004|06:22pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

Yesterday I realised how sad I am. O.o

I did not go to bed the other night, I sat here and doodled online. Then I heard this tiny buzzing sound, so I looked to my left. There was a tiny fly on my folder on its wings, trying to get to its feet. I kept staring at it for 20 minutes before noticing what I was doing.

Sad, eh?

Anyway, I don't think I remembered to note that I am single again. O_O; I don't know how I managed to forget that, ah well.


Humm, I need to tell chu about this girl on my course, Bex.

I fancy the pants out of her. O___O;

Scary thought, that. But she's.... Meh, never mind. Probably starting to scare everyone else now.


Rie x
There's a time to lead and a time to follow.

Throw me a flower

[ OMG LIKE WTF IS HAPPENING? O___@; ] [23 Sep 2004|01:42am]
[ mood | awake ]

Omgwtflike what the hell is goig on with LJ? Too much has changed, aaaaaargh!

-runs into a camel-

Ouch. X___x;

Anyway... This is all new. O__o; I don't even know how the hell to use this... this... thing. +_X;


Back to... today? No, yesterday. 22nd. Yus.

Had an okay-ish day. Went to library, shoulda worked my ass off but whaddya know, I only did little research in an hour, went to work, kids were crawling all over the place as usual. Had great fun though with the second group (5.30-6.30).


-shoos off a daddy-long-legs-

Fucking things. ¬..¬

Anyway.... Yes, then went home, had a quick dinner... Uhh... 10 minutes, yus. Caught the bus to town, met Becca and we went to Adam's flat....


.... l337ing, yus. Always good.

Anyway, yes, I have a cool new hoodie now. S'all xCoolxCorexCrewx XDDDD

Later on me, Becca and Adam went to Riley's. Man that place was quiet on wednesday night. +___X; Anyhoo, we chatted away and had a pont of beer each. Was nice. Then we decided to go to Wagamama's to have some foooooooooooooood. Adam was nice, he decided to pay for it all. XD

We also wanted to harass Rodney, but he finished his shift and came to eat half of our food. Great. ^__^;

Mehh, I had good time today. Better than for a while. Yus.

--- ---

Becca, I know you won't read this because you left LJ andthatisverymeanandnaughtyofyoubutIletyouoffsinceyoustillareonMySpaceandIloveyouyesIdo but I've put it up on MySpace as well...

I love you very much and you know a certain someone is a right knobjockey at the moment. Whenever you wanna talk or just have a hug or anything else, I am here. -nodding-

You better not forget that.


--- ---

I have a faded memory of Grand Central Station
Some time in February
That was me - by the balustrade
Looking down on all those handsome New Yorkers
Silently walking and nobody talking
Oh, it wasn't allowed - or so it seemed

And golden details and chandeliers
Oh, to think that they'd survived the years
And yes those were the best years if my life

I climbed the top of tallest skyscraper
I was the business - I was the king of the world
Just look at me now

I'll share a distant memory
Like the one in the photo - takes me back
Makes me feel free to be me?

Marbled details and chandeliers
Oh, to think they'd survived the years
And yes - those were the best years of my life

So wrap up your memories and store them away
You can always come calling on some rainy day
And yes - those were the best years of my life

Rie x
The darkest hour of my darkest night.

Throw me a flower

[ Harharhar ] [22 Sep 2004|08:48am]
[ mood | lonely ]

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
_ImFe goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Bijou.
_beatdown tricks you! You get a penny.
_blackflame gives you 16 light green coconut-flavoured gummies.
cryingblack gives you 1 dark green passionfruit-flavoured gumdrops.
emerald_thread tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
emptygod tricks you! You lose 8 pieces of candy!
fauxreality tricks you! You get an old sock.
katters279 tricks you! You get a pencil.
mcboman tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
shark_repellent tricks you! You lose 3 pieces of candy!
stitchxzombie gives you 13 pink passionfruit-flavoured wafers.
_ImFe ends up with 17 pieces of candy, a penny, an old sock, and a pencil.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.


Gotta love old socks! XD

Rie x
When I look in the mirror I see somebody else.
7 flowers on my grave Throw me a flower

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