im nothing without you
i have nothing worth time
when ur not there
no reason to smile or laugh
or push my self farther
no reason for anything.
hes still not tlaking to me
if this means its over
im gonna die...
worst fucking christmas
and its all my fault
im justa selfish bitch.
last night was... interesting
it was fun at the hookah bar we had alot of hookah
it was emily k, trista, joseph, lauren, danny c, nick a, danny d, evanna, diego,angie, patty and her boyfriend, charlotte,victoria, and me.
things got a little crazy at the end though
i stepped outside to call someone and like 5 minutes into the phone convo
and i see becky running across the street.
and i see a girl next to her whic i thought was some chick from palmetto
but no... who was it?
JACKIE! omgggg my fianceeee
i got to see her and i hugged her like
it was great
they hadda leave though cuz beckys dad was there?
so i went back inside and we left around 12 50
and i got hom around 1 30
my mom was pissed
so hopefully i can go out tonight
cuz im suppoed to see jackie and ppl at sunset
ima beg on my knees with my tongue out making a vanilla sunday with all the helpings
so i can go.
if i cant
mannn ill cry dude.
im ranting right now.
dont be like
ooh u shouldnt be weriting this on lj
WHY do people think im so fucking happy
why do people think i have no problems
i always fucking listen to everyone
whoever talks to me
i comfort them
sorry to be selfish
but its always about them
and the ppl that do even fucking care
i cant open up to them
cuz its like letting my guard down
no one has ever seen the real me
no one knows how sad i really am
no one knows how much i beat myself up
how much i go through
fucking hell man
why cant i seem to have anyone worth listening
when i try to say something
next second its back to them
and their problems
thanksgiving was okay.
my g-gma died that day..
so my gpa wasnt there
and my gma was crying when he called to tell her
all i can think about is all those memories of her
but john is amazing
and thats what im thankful for
he cheered me up
he always does
when im crying my eyes out
he still makes me smile...
im sick of this
my family, my ''friends''
this stupid fucking city
and no one will be able to find me
ill be able to be happy.