somewhere along the way between monday and tuesday, i met a freshman guy who lives in josey and john's old room, and would soon become my second roommate. his name is adam, and he's taken to notifying whitney and myself when he wakes up in the morning, before he eats, goes to class, does his homework... and he pretty much lives in our room. he was in here this morning when i came back from a shower, he was in here when i came home from class yesterday. he's thoroughly entertaining, though, and totally laid-back, so we enjoy him.
on tuesday night, stephanie suggested we have a floor-wide fashion show. everyone was really enthusiastic until it actually came down to having the damn thing. consequently, all that it amounted to was stephanie and i putting on little dresses and heels and running around for a half an hour.
wednesday night, adam left our room so that he and i could do homework, under the pretense that we were building a fort when he returned. when he showed up, though, he was wearing a weird outfit, so somehow building a fort turned into having another fashion show. this fashion show basically consisted of us putting on awkward layers, and then each other's weird clothes, and even though the consensus ended up being that he looked sexy and i looked like a trashy hobo, it was a good time.
fuck, man. why do people dick me over so badly? it's really remarkable. it's never like, oh hey, sorry, this is over. it's never, i think we should see other people. i think we need to take a break from us. it's always, sorry, i AM seeing other people. what the fuck is that about? i think i'm gonna become a hardcore slutwhore and drink my life away for the next few months. deal?
you don't deserve to be lonely but those drugs you've got won't make you feel better pretty soon you'll find it's the only little part of your life you're keeping together i'm nice to you, i could make it through that you're already somebody's baby i could make you smile if you stayed a while but how long will you stay with me baby because your candle burns too bright well, i almost forgot it was twilight even if i think that you are right well, i'm tired of being down, i got no fight
YOU SAID, "IT FEELS GOOD," I SAID, "I'LL GIVE IT A TRY."
i want a lover i don't have to love. i want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk. where's the kid with the chemicals? i got a hunger and i can't seem to get full. i need a meaning i can memorize--the kind i have always seems to slip my mind.
love's an excuse to get hurt. and to hurt. do you like to hurt? i do, i do.