Circe (_honeyspider) wrote,
Circe
_honeyspider

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Do I still think in those little yellow boxes? Ooooh, I missed you, little yellow boxes!

Saw Wolverine last night.

Meh.

Okay, so going into the cinema I put aside all my comic book geekery as I knew it wasn't going to be much like it at all. I knew I had to enjoy it on the basis of it just being a good film. And, yes, they did change a lot which I would have been fine with if I thought they had changed any of it for the better. But it seemed like every change was completely retarded.

Sabretooth and Wolverine being beloved brothers who had to become arch enemies? Oh my god, WHAT? So lame. So so lame. And the amount of times they ran at each other roaring- I was ready to turn it into a drinking game. And then their fighting back to back against their common enemy at the end, oh lord, I may have gagged.

For an action film it was filled with a shitload of forced sap. It didn't make me sad for the characters, it just made me roll my eyes. Oh god, the story that Kayla told Wolverine was so randomly forced in and if I didn't know she was going to die then I would have as soon as she did that.

Victor appeared to be quoting his lines right from the Villain's Cliché Book.

The only woman on the entire cast (other than the short appearances of badly-fitted-bra Emma and the evil doctor lady) was Wolverine's betrayer and then died. GEE, THANKS GUYS. They could have at least thrown Sage in there instead of Bolt/Maverick, because it's not like they had a problem with editing people's powers for what they wanted. (Plus Sage in a movie? HOT.) Also, why did they put Bradley Bolt/Chris Bradley in Weapon X when he was supposed to be a sworn enemy of such, oh stop, I'm going back to comic stuff.

The special effects were SO TERRIBLE. Oh lord, isn't it 2009 now? It was looking Van Helsing bad there sometimes. Wolverine inspecting his claws in front of the mirror and they were just so... they weren't plastic, right? He wasn't wearing those kiddie claws? (Although, I liked the special effects on the teleporting - maybe they spent all the money on that?)

THEY RUINED MY DEADPOOL. How can he be the merc with a mouth if he has no mouth?? Why did they give him katana-claws and eye lasers and make him into a robot man- asddfghjkl;. Right, sorry, comics are not movies, comics are not movies, comics are not movies. I think that Ryan Reynolds would be an awesome Deadpool were Deadpool actually allowed to be, you know, Deadpool. At the beginning the snark was going well though. (But, again, I guess that's more of a comic related gripe.)

Oh man, and there were just so many random bits and lines that made me go 'WAIT, WHAT?' or physically groan/roll my eyes in the cinema.

Right, the upsides? Hugh had his shirt off. A LOT. The film makers were very wise there. Taylor looked hot as Gambit (although I don't know what his accent was supposed to be.)

But overall, I'm really disappointed. I've been waiting so loooong for this thing and I wanted it to be good. I was prepared for it to be nothing like the comics, but I just wasn't prepared for it to be stupid, cliché, boring and predictable :(

EDIT: Someone on sf_drama summed it all up way better than me
Tags: destroying childhoods, nerd rage, raaaaage!, taylor ohgodthehot, what is this??, wolverine why!?
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