August 29th, 2005

-- The bathtub full of flies

(no subject)

I'm sitting in the kitchen and it all hit me. I just remembered my last night in Melbourne and I could remember how he was holding my hands and how concerned he looked that I was upset. And...oh god. This hurts. I just keep remembering things about him and they set me off crying again. All these conversations and little gestures that didn't seem like much at the time now seem like everything I have. Have to hold onto them all. And everytime I read someone else's posts about him I start crying. How much crying can I do? I thought I must have run out of tears in the last few months but it seems not, huh? I think I want to numbness back. It was so much preferable to the sobbing in the kitchen.

And then having Nikki sobbing on me. Because, oh god, the amount that she is hurting I cannot stand. It kills me. It hurts even more than it already hurts.

It was a hit and run. Some fucker hit him and then just drove off! Some people need to be killed! The fact that someone could do that...fuck. Some people don't deserve to live.

But Ian did. Because he was such a wonderful person. And my head hurts from crying all afternoon.
  • Current Mood
    crushed crushed

(no subject)

There are five peopole entangled in each other on Des's bed behind me. They're holding Andy down and there's one on each limb.

This is a horrible Lesbian Flat Of Doom. There's no rope or chains or anything!

Circe's got his legs! And NIkki's got the arms! And Tim's coming in for reinforsements and ooh he's getting away! She' half onthe floor and Sena is taking the pants off! And they're almost all on the floor now... and he's pulling the pants back up again! His arms are free@ His arms are free! Kit kat break now...


NO WAIT! He's back! The kit kat was just a ploy! Oh god they're seen me on LJ! THey're coming!



Circe: can you get Sena's sock OFF the statue of the goddess

Circe: [to sena] Well, don't you look like you've been rolling round on a bed with a boy

TO TIm: Are you goingto snog Andrew tonight?
All= everyone except Tim.
Andrew: I wonder how much I can freak him out.

Sena: [alison] makes funny sucking noises! ... faster! Faster Ali!
Raen: Oh god! Teeth!

Sena: Stop sucking yourself off! Stop sucking yourself off! Stop blowing yourself!

Raen: ... are you writing all these down?

  • Current Mood
    amused amused