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[Tuesday
October 4th 2005
7:42pm] |
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner,
play
with the sisters. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my
mind
for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing it out of the
medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It
was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump
of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm
and
you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and
you
pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean,
I'm
not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.
(YA
THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck
together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get
out
the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!)
I
lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
It
works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can
do
this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all
wayward
body hair and maker of smooth skin
extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak
back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I
drop
my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I
apply the was strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering
the
right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt
cheek
(Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace
myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision
returning, I
notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.
CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and
spotted.
I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing
drums???
Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused
me so
much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the
glory
that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the
hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax.
CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is
now
covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up
on
the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. Vagina?
Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think
to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop
off!"
What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll
run
the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the
wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently
wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture
prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only
thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having
them
glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub..in scalding hot
water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had
cement-epoxied
myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few
months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some
secret
of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my
butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal
but
she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly
where
the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?" She's
laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and
she
suggests I call the number on the side of the
box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off
with
a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered
in
hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then
dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working,
dignity
has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need
Post-Traumatic
Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace....the
lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to
lose
at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my
friend.
Its sooo painful, l but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I
get a
hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up I successfully
remove
the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE
HAIR
IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by
now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point
Next week I'm going to try hair color......
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[Saturday
October 1st 2005
10:29am] |
my good friend and police officer Jamie Walker died in the line of duty September 28, 2005 at 11:30 p.m... he was on patrol and pulled over a blue astro van.. when he got to the window of the van, he tapped on the glass, and went back down to put his hand on his gun and the mother fucker shot jamie in the face with a 12 gauge THROUGH the window....... he never had a chance......
jamie was my buddy... it was a close casket wake and the funeral's today at 3..
i remember him bein at my house just Monday and us all havin a Corona... (his and our favorite) or when we'd go down to the tom bigbee... he'd always go with us... it just hurts so bad!!!
so im sorry about not being active... it might take a little while... any icons on the line of duty, police officers, songs, poems, quotes.. anything!!
<3
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[Thursday
June 30th 2005
6:42pm] |
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"Somewhere In The Sun"
Stuck here at a Holiday Inn near Austin, Texas
Seen all the road that I want to see
God I hate the snow, they even cancelled the show
Makes me long for where I really want to be
Oh I wish I was there tonight on Jost Van Dyke
Sipping on some Foxy's Firewater rum
Or kickin' back with Ivan
With all my friends down in the islands
Wouldn't take much for me to up and run
To another life somewhere in the sun
Got cold fajitas and only one channel on the TV
Andy and Barney on Nick at Nite
Seen an ad for Mexico, God I really want to go
Anywhere out of mind and out of sight
Oh I wish I was there tonight on Jost Van Dyke
Sipping on some Foxy's Firewater rum
Or kickin' back with Ivan
With all my friends down in the islands
Wouldn't take much for me to up and run
To another life somewhere in the sun
Here's a toast to you on the coast and the sailors out at sea
Drink your ales, hoist your sails
Ride the winds and think of me, 'cause
Oh I wish I was there tonight on Jost Van Dyke
Sipping on some Foxy's Firewater rum
Or kickin' back with Ivan
With all my friends down in the islands
Wouldn't take much for me to up and run
To another life somewhere in the sun
Somewhere in the sun
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| This song is SO me. |
[Thursday
June 30th 2005
6:42pm] |
"Soul Of A Sailor"
He walked in with a salty sway
Lookin' like Blackbeard in his day
A brother in arms just like me
I was born a son of the sea
I can't be still, I can't be tied
The only time I feel alive is
When the wind fills my sail
Riding on a lifelong swell
Let my heart take me where it wants to go
That's the soul of a sailor, the soul of a sailor
He slid a stool and a beer to me
Said, you know, we're both a dying breed
Here's to love lost and newfound friends
And living out life in the boat we're in
I can't be still, I can't be tied
The only time I feel alive is
When the wind fills my sail
Riding on a lifelong swell
Let my heart take me where it wants to go
That's the soul of a sailor, the soul of a sailor
Let my heart take me where it wants to go
That's the soul of a sailor, the soul of a sailor
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[Thursday
June 30th 2005
6:40pm] |
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"Don't Stay"
Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need you to go
Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay
Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need to be alone
I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away
I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away
With no apologies
Don't stay
Don't stay
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[Tuesday
June 21st 2005
4:44pm] |
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Do you have what it takes?
Join
miss_fit_beauty
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| My favorite four (Miss Mississippi) |
[Wednesday
May 11th 2005
9:31am] |
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Leslie Churchwell (Greene County)
Natalie Goldman (Meridian)
Kylie Estes (Monroeville)
Katie Belcher (Quitman)
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[Wednesday
April 27th 2005
12:14pm] |
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i know its too dark... but its kinda a litle preview
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[Thursday
April 14th 2005
9:16am] |
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mood |
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Whats up! Nothing here in BCT bored. I SO failed this class. Okay so I never come to 1st period. I mean what the hell. school should just start later. But anyways. On to other things. OMG MY DREAM LAST NIGHT SUCKED ASS. Okay, well it started out I was in my driveway, it wasn’t my driveway in piave, it looked like someone else’s driveway but it was mine (in the dream). And like, I was cleanin out the back of mama’s truck. Like I was straightenin up fishin poles an movin stuff off the tailgate… and there was some guy there. An I looked around (it was dark outside) and I was like “Look, I just cant do this… I mean you’re a sweetheart an all but I just cant be with anyone else”, “I miss Jon, he’s probably here…” and I looked around and I didn’t see your truck so then I said “no, he’s not here. And I hate it.” And I started to cry, and I just told em I couldn’t do it. He gave me a hug and said “well, I wasn’t really feelin it anyways” and I was just like “Leave. Now”.
Ahh I woke up SQUALLIN!!! I just wanted to call Jon… you have NO idea!!!! I just could’ve cried an cried an cried. THANK GOD IT WAS JUST A DREAM!!!!
So anyway... I have Orientation SATURDAY!! Yay!! I’m so happy! It’ll be soooo much fun!!! I’m eatin these thunder Chargin Sour Cream & Cheddar. They fucking OWN me. Ahh they’re so yummmyy! Lol. but anyways.. I’m gonna go. Just wanted to update!!!
Much love!!!
Dani
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[Monday
April 11th 2005
8:45am] |
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Okay, for the Miss Mississippi's Outstanding Teen pageant I'm gonna be in, I have to sell $900.00 worth of Ads for the Program Book.
Could you see if anyone you know, where you work, your friends, family, etc.... wants to place their Ad in the book?
The prices are $300.00- 1 page. $150.00- 3/4 Page. $100.00- 1/2 Page. $75.00-1/4 page.
Please PLEASEE help! The website for the progran is http://www.maoteen.com
I will show proof of publication.
THANK YOUUU!
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[Saturday
April 9th 2005
1:06pm] |
I got a hundred bucks that says right now your hair's up in a clip
Your socks don't quite match and you're bitin' your lip
I can finish your thoughts or pick the right restaurants
Even order for you 'fore you sit down
Yeah somebody knows you now
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[Sunday
April 3rd 2005
11:54pm] |
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mood |
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you know what i love the most about us? i love how comfortable we're with each other, i love how we can endlessly crack on each other but never take the teasing to heart. i love how when i walk away from you when we're fighting you try to stay mad but always end up running after me. i love you and everything about you, the look in your eyes when you kiss me, how we can stay up all night just talking about nothing. i love how you can call me and no matter my mood you somehow always seem to make me laugh. i love how you need me as much as i need you, but most of all.. i love how you love me. <3
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[Friday
April 1st 2005
10:20pm] |
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mood |
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Can anyone make my userinfo pretty?
I will credit!
<3 Dani
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[Tuesday
March 29th 2005
6:17pm] |
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Wait for the boy who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical. The kind of boy who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the boy who will be your best friend. The person who will drop everything to be with you at any time of the day no matter what the circumstances are. Wait for the boy who makes you smile like no other boy makes you smile and when he smiles you know he needs you. Wait for the boy who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats and have no makeup on, but appreciates it when you get all dolled up for him, and most of all wait for the boy who will put you at the center of the universe because obviously he’s at the center of yours.
my first, my last, my everything, and the answer to all my dreams. you’re my sun, my moon, my guiding star. my kind of wonderful, that’s what you are.
When tomorrow starts without me and I'm not here to see... If the sun should rise and find your eyes filled with tears for me, I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today... While thinking of the many things we didn't get to say. I know how much you love me, as much as I love you... And each time you think of me, I know you'll miss me, too. But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand... That Jesus came and called my name and took me by the hand, And said my place was ready in heaven far above... And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love. So when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think we're far apart...For every time you think of me, I’m right here in your heart.
Your lips, your eyes, your smile, your kiss
I must admit it's a part of me
You please me, complete me, filling me
Like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof
We were meant to be
But the best quality thats hookin' me
is that you're lovin' me for me
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[Tuesday
March 29th 2005
4:21pm] |
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