You know when you got drunk that time? Yeah? Embarrassed yourself and everyone around you and they all did that very British thing and acted like it wasn't happening and let you continue to make an arse of yourself? Today I'm the guy who gently reminded you not to shit in the sink.
You might be my friends, many of you, or at least passing acquaintances but - nonetheless - I find it shocking that pretty much any of my generation - Thatcher's Children - are remotely conservative. We lived through the wholesale dismantling of our birthrights from public ownership of essential infrastructure to milk for kids, which many of us were at the time. Maybe I'm immune to some peculiar ageing process that turns stand up, regular people into Norman Tebbit and makes them lose sympathy for other human beings or long term vision, but I find that especially fucking peculiar in the context of the current situation.
Will Wheaton says don't be a dick but I'm fucking British and we use swearing like punctu-fucking-ation and I'm telling you not to be a cunt.
- When we look at the university fee issue I'm seeing people who I might otherwise respect sounding like Daily Mail headlines. I hear 'spoiled', I hear 'mollycoddled', I hear that old chestnut of 'scroungers'. Here's a tip, if what you're saying sounds like it's coming out of the mouth of Nigel Farrage or Jan Moir, you're a cunt.
- If you've enjoyed a subsidised or grant-based higher education, and you're taking the side of the government or the filth, you're a cunt.
- If you don't understand why this feels like such a betrayal by the Lib Dems and think they shouldn't have taken a stand on this, you're a cunt.
- If you've got kids and you're taking the side of the government or the filth, you're a cunt.
- If you don't understand that police provocation plays a major part in the misrepresentation of protesters here, or what the police have to gain by doing such when their own budget is under fire, you're a cunt.
- If you don't understand that beating children and dragging people out of wheelchairs is unacceptable or that not letting people complete their protest is unacceptable or that kettling in the freezing cold without food or toilets causes an adverse reaction, you're a cunt.
- If you think 'The Big Society' is going to work, you're a cunt who needs to read more Charles Dickens.
Are you going to continue to be a cunt as they paint the disabled as scroungers and malingerers? What about the unemployed? How long are you going to sit and take it without protest as important public services get scrapped and corporations and banks continue to be let off or bailed out? There might be a necessity to a lot of these bail outs but it's starting to take the fucking piss. What's more important, one millionaire or a million people in poverty?
I know in my social circle there's a lot of people with a variety of physical and mental issues, typically ones that are hard to confirm such as ME, fibro, chronic fatigue, manic depression and others that are amongst the ones most likely to get their money cut off or reduced with no better prospects of work than they had before. Are you going to be a cunt to them too? Are they mollycoddled, spoiled, over-entitled scroungers as well? With housing benefit being cut as well what are they supposed to do? Sell matches? Cater to the small disabled-fetish prostitution market?
What really fucking gets me is that some of you are complaining out one side of your mouth about the sense of entitlement and privilege these students apparently have and at the same time you're condemning the assault on the car of a glorified Toby Jug and Rod Hull impersonator who are two of the most coddled, protected and over-entitled fuckwits in the entire country. Is consistency too much to ask for here?
May I point out, as well, that these are not 'professional' protesters. They're not used to dealing with the police in this sort of context or being treated like this. Little wonder that most of them react as they do. May I also point out, before you start banging on about the student's selfishness or wanting a free ride at other people's expense, that most of them aren't protesting for their own sake but for that of coming generations. YOUR kids you ungrateful cunts.
Money isn't the only gauge of value in the world, we shouldn't commodify art or knowledge and yes, there's even cultural value to be had in a degree in fucking Klingon. Not everything is about money, not everything is about business and depriving people of higher education not only sabotages our knowledge base but also our cultural basis for the future.
Stop being cunts.
That goes for Wikileaks as well you fucking douchebag. They're trying to prosecute journalism as espionage. Does nobody see the dangerous precedent there? Freedom of speech and the press is vital to a democratic society, stop making excuses for the cunts who've been exposed as cunts...
(Pic from Twitter and Boston.com, source of modded picture has long since scrolled into obscurity but I'll give credit if someone can tell me who to give it to)