February 21st, 2011


30 Day Challenge Number 1 - Relationship

I am married to the lovely kostika which is a little bit like being married to a live hand grenade coated in honey. It's delicious but you're never quite sure when it's going to go off in your face.

We've been married some time now, with another anniversary coming up on St Patrick's Day and we seem to be doing OK. Neither of us are the easiest people to live with so it's fortunate we found each other as nobody else BUT us would put up with our individual or mutual shit.

I love her very much, not that married life is easy. Something I've felt for a very long time - and that's been held up by How TV Ruined Your Life - is that a lot of people shoot themselves in the foot relationship-wise holding out for some idealised version of perfection that doesn't really exist. Many things in life, including marriage, can be blissfully wonderful, but they're never going to be perfect. Relationships take work and effort and an apprecition of wabi-sabi. That's a pretty hackneyed view, but it's true nonetheless.

kostika has always got my back and I've got hers. I sometimes feel pangs of 'traditional male' thinking when I realise that I'm essentially a (very bad) house husband and that I'm definitely the 'wife' so far as the house and income matters go. She still lets me do manly things like take the rubbish out, so I still get to fulfil those traditional gender roles now and again.

All we need now is a little Grim or Kostika, much as we love the cat, attempts to teach him to disdain authority were pointless, to read were futile and he potty-trained himself.

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