March 3rd, 2006

spider

US/UK Differences

You have a mousewheel, use it :P

I've written skits on this before, but this one went particularly well.

Here is a mild exaggeration (I never eat burgers if I can at all help it)...

Eating out
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In the UK
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Grim: "Good morrow gentle purveyor of burgers!"
BurgerGirl: "And good day to you Sir!" *Tugs forelock in deference to my obvious nobility* "How may I attend to your burger needs today?"
Grim: "I should like one double burger, some chips - If you call them fries I shall be forced to run you through with my sword - and a strawberry milkshake."
BurgerGirl: "Here we are sir. That'll be 4 florins and sixpence."
Grim: "Here's a goat, keep the change."

In the US
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Grim: "Hello there. I wish to purchase a meal from your fine establishment."
BurgerGirl: "Hi! My name is Candy! I shall be your annoyingly chipper burger girl for today! Welcome to McMeatys! How can I help!"
Grim: "Ummm... yes... thank you... 'Candy'. I feel so much more comfortable ordering a burger from you now we're on first name terms. I should like one double burger, some chips... *notes busy signal look in girl's eyes*... fries, sorry, and a strawberry milkshake."
BurgerGirl: "And how would you like your doubleburger sir?"
Grim: "Whaaa? Ummm... cooked?"
BurgerGirl: "Rare, medium, well done?"
Grim: "What? I did order a burger didn't I? Not a steak at all?"
BurgerGirl: "Yes sir. How would you like it done."
Grim: "Its a burger."
BurgerGirl: "Yes Sir."
Grim: "And you're asking me how I'd like it done....?"
Burger Girl: "Yes Sir."
Grim: "I was previously unaware that the gave michelin stars to burger joints... I shall have mine well done. Now please, I'm hungry."
Burgergirl: "Salad?"
Grim: "It has lettuce and tomato in it in the picture... isn't that what it has?"
Burgergirl: "That is just one option Sir, is that what you'd like?"
Grim: "If I ask what else there is I'll be stuck here all year, yes, lettuce and tomato please."
Burgergirl: "Are you sure? The rocket and papaya salad filling is very popular."
Grim: *adamant* JUST lettuce and tomato.
Burgergirl: "Gherkin?"
Grim: "They always come with Gherkin, whether you want it or not, don't tease me you spry young plaything of the burger-devouring masses."
Burgergirl: "Oh no sir, we can have gherkin or not, or any of a number of other pickles."
Grim: "Oh, what the hell, lets splash out. No gherkin, let us defy the gods themselves!"
Burgergirl: "And what sort of bun would you like your burger in?"
Grim: "Come now, you're just taking the piss out of me now aren't you? Is it the accent? You want to keep me here talking because my plummy accent does things for you that Hugh Grant only does for hookers?"
Burgergirl: "No sir, we have a wide selection of burger buns... if you'd just care to..."
Grim: "Actually, I'm QUITE HUNGRY, just slap it in a regular sesame seed bun."
Burgergirl: "We have a dozen different kinds of sesame seed bun Sir, we have..."
Grim: *exasperated* Just surprise me! Pick one!
Burgergirl: "You should choose, here's a menu of the kinds..."
Grim: "Just pick one! My stomach is trying to eat my lungs!"
Burgergirl: "Alright... How about the Jefferson? That's made with..."
Grim: "Yes, yes, the Jefferson, that one, fine."
Burgergirl: "And your fries? How would you like those?"
Grim: "What? They're FRIES! How can you possibly fuck that one up? They're potato starch, flour and water pressedinto oblong shapes and fried in oil, covered in salt."
Burgergirl: "Well, we have straight, twisty, long, short, curved, rounded, chilli fries, cheese fries, you can have low-sodium salt, you can have them fried in vegetable or animal fat and finally you can choose from fifteen different sizes."
Grim: "Medium, salted, I don't care how they're fried."
Burgergirl: "Are you sure? It does make a big difference."
Grim: "Animal fat then, this conversation is making me want to die of a coronary as it is..."
Burgergirl: "And your shake?"
Grim: "Strawberry, large, with a straw."
Burgergirl: "Wild strawberry? Strawberry and kiwi? Doublestraw? Twisty straw? Our 25th year anniversary cup?"
Grim: "Just - Strawberry."
Burgergirl: *Looking put out* "Yes sir..."
Grim: "Oh, alright, with a twisty straw."
Burgergirl: "Thank you Sir, that'll be $579 confederate dollars and a pint of oil please."
Grim: "Do you have change for a small middle-eastern country?"
Burgergirl: "Here you are sir, enjoy your meal, here's your change. Thanks for eating at McMeaties, have a nice day."
Grim: *Passes out from lack of food, no longer having the spare calories left to open and shut his jaw to chew.*
Iron Kingdoms

Gaming Night Space?

We seem to have a slot opened up in our Wednesday night IRC gaming.
Looking for an Arcane Magiciant/Technologist type for Iron Kingdoms.
We're up to about level 6/7 now and just about to finish the Witchfire Trilogy, then a short break and carrying on with that campaign I reckon.

Anyone?