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100% vol

another day in the life..

« Andy »
4 January 1980
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Andy Lawson | Create your badge

How to leave the Planet:

1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (731)483-3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.
2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House - (202)456-1414 - to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
3. If you don't have any friends at the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have some influence, so you may aswell try.
4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.
5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

In memory of Douglas Adams.

100 bullets, abney park, airhockey, alcohol, anime, apoptygma berzerk, art, assemblage 23, babylon 5, beer, being muntered, bill bailey, billy connolly, black, black adder, black books, blackadder, blade runner, books, booze, bruce lee, candles, cheese, comics, covenant, coventry jaguars, cyberpunk, danny elfman, dark city, deadlands, deathboy, delerium, depeche mode, derren brown, dream disciples, drinking, ebm, eddie izzard, emilie autumn, fable, faith no more, farmer boys, father ted, fear factory, fields of the nephilim, fight club, films, final fantasy, front line assembly, ggfh, ghost in the shell, good omens, gordon's alive!, goth, green, h.r. giger, halki, halo, happy tree friends, highlander, hood's army trilogy, iamx, in strict confidence, jack dee, jackie chan, jaffa cakes, jet li, jostein gaarder, kung fu films, lahannya, long vodka, magic 8 ball, martial arts, megatokyo, monty python, mythology, neil gaiman, netgoth, neuroticfish, nine inch nails, offspring, oscar wilde, phylosophy, pizza, portishead, projekt pitchfork, rage against the machine, rammstein, real ale, red dwarf, red hot chili peppers, rem, roleplaying, rosetta stone, sandman, shadowrun, shakespear, sharpe, sophie's world, spaced, spicy curries, stargate sg1, still game, suicide commando, terry pratchett, the aliens films, the crow, the cruxshadows, the cure, the lost highway, the tick, tim burton, toast, transformers, transmetropolitan, type o negative, vancouver deluxe, velvet acid christ, vnv nation, vodka, void construct, warren ellis, wgw, whisky, whitby, white zombie, wine, withnail & i, x men, x-box 360