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11 May 2008 @ 16:23
Overheard  
I found a list of all these quotes I collected that I heard all around London the other day. I think I was trying to start up some kind of Overheard in New York things but instead for the goldmine of stupidity that is the London bus system.

Anyway, some of them were amazing.

Gay: WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MEATBALLS? MEATBALLS ARE ON ME.
Scottish: *To me, the overhearer* Would you like some meatballs?
American: YES A SIX INCH SUB PLEASE.
Gay: You owe me your life.
American: I owe you a six-inch sandwich.
Gay: That is your life.
American: Yeah, in your gay little world.
Gay: I never talk about your sexuality!
American: What's there to talk about? I like it straight and I like it hard.
- *everyone in shop looks at them*


Old Man: "All those soaps. Phenomenal!"
- Talking about Lush.


Girl 1: Yeah so i was at this party like.
Girl 2: Was it the one on Friday?
Girl 1: No on Tuesday. Anyways, so this boy came up to me and was like all over me, and I got off with him. Then my boyfriend came over and he was like "I'm gonna batter him". And he went off, and found the boy, except the boy said "it wasn't me it was my cousin" And the cousin got hit.
Girl 2: Nah blad.
Girl 1: Yeah, and then the cousin was like, "it wasn't me it was him!" and the right boy got hit, but then his girlfriend came over to my boyfriend and hit him.
Girl 2: Man.
Girl 1: Then I got up and hit his girlfriend and she hit me. And thats how I got this black eye.
- the 61 bus (Orpington/Bromley)


Group of 11-16 yr olds: *playing a (loud) childish game*
Drunk: What the fuck is wrong with you people? Why don't you shut the fuck up? You should be out getting pregnant, not fucking playing games!

11/12 Year-Old: "Then he was all 'shall we do it?'"
Her Mate: "Yeah."
Her: "...and i was like...no."
Mate: "...mmm"
Her: "...and he was like 'please', so i was like 'okay'."
Mate: "He really loves you though."
Her: "Yeah...I know."
- Both on the train from Penge to Orpington (or Penge from Orpington)

A really portly (mega-ultra chubby [I mean FAT]) couple, sitting across from a guy with a couple of pizza boxes. They keep eyeing the boxes and finally...
Fatty 1: "Are those pizzas good?" *rubbing Fatty 2's belly*
Fatty 2: "Like, are they better than pizza hut?"
- 329 bus.

Small Child: Are we going South?
Other Child: Yeah definitely South. Maybe.
Small Child: Good 'cos the Wicked Witch of the North doesn't live there. She lives in the North.
Other Child: Oh.
Small Child: The good witch lives in the South.
Other Child: Which way are we going?
Small Child: Well you're facing backwards, so you're going North.
- A train from London to Kent.

Teen Girl: Did you know we won't be able to retire until we're 68?
Public School Teen Girl: No darling, that's just for poor people.
- Waterloo Station.

Chav 1: So then he stole her scarf and I chased him round Penge and made him give it back.
Chav 2: Penge is well ruff.
- The 208 back from Lewisham.

Ginger Girl: I know people that call it Pengé (Pon-jey), to make it sound a bit classier.
-
Charing Cross Station.

Oxford Circus Christian Megaphone Nut Guy: Capitalism will send you to HELL. You, sir, YOU are going to HELL.
Guy: Nah mate, I'm going to Primark.

- Oxford Circus


Ahaha, maybe I should start doing this again.
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Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
 
Little Ninja: [DW] Skillzlittleninja245 on 11th May 2008 16:45 (UTC)
OMG *dies of LOLZ*
This: Well you're facing backwards, so you're going North. is classic!!! XD

And: No darling, that's just for poor people. PMSL!!

Oh, and the last one = legend!! HAHA. Russel Howard told a story a bit like that on Mock The Week once.... LOL.

Anyway, brilliant. The stupidity is kind of depressing, but oh so funny. More please??
Droolburger_generalsmuts on 17th May 2008 17:00 (UTC)
Next time I'm in London I will keep an ear out.

I hear some great stuff in Orpington (where I go to college) though. Its teen pregnancy capital of the WORLD.
thehappyseathehappysea on 11th May 2008 17:25 (UTC)
A really portly (mega-ultra chubby [I mean FAT]) couple, sitting across from a guy with a couple of pizza boxes. They keep eyeing the boxes and finally...
Fatty 1: "Are those pizzas good?" *rubbing Fatty 2's belly*
Fatty 2: "Like, are they better than pizza hut?"
- 329 bus.

1. What were you doing getting the 329?
2. I have also seen those people. The pizza fiends of the 329. Fat, and very, very greasy.
naitsabes_nhoj on 11th May 2008 18:29 (UTC)
submitted by yours truly.
thehappyseathehappysea on 11th May 2008 21:23 (UTC)
Now it all makes sense!
Droolburger_generalsmuts on 13th May 2008 07:08 (UTC)
yours truly indeed.
how are you?
naitsabes_nhoj on 13th May 2008 12:19 (UTC)
scorching, thanks, and you?