May 5th, 2007

Tap Dancer

I'm Still Alive lol

I haven't writen in here in god know's how long it's just been so crazy! My first semester of graduate school has come to an end and I did very well. I don't know my grades yet but you can't get anything lower then a B or you have to take the class again and pay for it so I better of gotten at least a B! It all depends on my final paper and tests, I'm not sure when this college posts grades though. As first year students you have to meet with your professors and the feedback I got was that my papers have gotten alot stronger, but the neg was that I am to quiet in class. I need to participate in the discussions more. If and when my bill gets taken care of I will be taking 3-4 classes this summer and then 3 in the fall. They have me down for graduating in December 2008. That's so close its scary! Were trying to get the condo ready to put up for sale so we can move and pay off our debt! I wish I could pay off all of mine, but its not my money to take lol I've also been very involved in dance because the recital is in about 5 weeks and that's a scary thought. Tomorrow is our dance pictures, our recital is June 16th and there is no way I'm ready lol I'm planning on joining weight watchers I'm sick of being plus size, I'm not sure if and how much weight I'll lose but anything is better then being my size in clothing. I mean I do good with finding clothes but I'm not healthy *hench my period lasting 15 weeks* and no girl wants me :( I haven't had a date since September, haven't kissed or held anyone since September and Its driving me crazy. I'm sick of doing everything by myself, I want someone to go shopping with, to get some dinner with, relax at the beach and watch the sunset. These are all things that I'm craving so badly lately maybe because I just turned 24 and I'm afraid I'm going to be alone forever I Just can't take it! I've been single long enough and taken care of me, now its time to share my love and life with someone and there's no one!! I feel like I'm at a dead end with the relationship aspect of my life and its driving me insane. I feel really hard for this girl in my program at school, but she's of course straight :( I always wonder if a guy would want me... All i know is that my heart is aching for the touch of another women. It's not fair everyone deserves to be loved, so why can't someone love me??