So, if anyone out there is putting the voodoo hex on our apartment, cut it out. I do not believe in voodoo hexes.
In related news, I'm semi-positive our fridge just died.
wanna hear a joke? well, it's not really a joke so much as a "poor me" whine session.
the furnace for our half of the house died on saturday. it got pretty chilly this weekend. we made the land-lord agree to put us up in a hotel, but then got kinda lazy and just put every blanket we own onto the bed. getting up the last two days has been rough, as we were dreading the cold. as soon as we would get out of bed, our dread would be validated. (it's cute when dread does that.)
so that was a hassle. the furnace was to be fixed today whilst we toiled in indentured servitude today. (i saw it.) when we arrived home this evening we were excited to tackle the chores that were put off this weekend due to being gone most of the time or shivering beneath blankets and watching the tube. as i opened the door, i noticed that it was indeed wonderfully warm in our home. but also a smidge humid. the humidity came from the water all over our kitchen floor that was flowing freely from beneath our dishwasher. (we had recently informed our landlord twice that the washer stopped working and that i theorized the problem to be a frozen(ergo, prone to bursting) pipe.) i ran downstairs to cut the water to the house and saw water running down the basement wall and dripping from support beams. (i have a lot of musical gear and storage in boxes down there, so i was understandably concerned.) a cursory overview revealed that nothing had been damaged, but i'm a bit worried about all that moisture. i'll probably end up moving most of the spendier stuff upstairs yet tonight.
ms. monk informs me that this is a good story, so i'll post it now.
I recently sent an email to a large internet company. It was written in response to the question of why I was cancelling my account with them. It reads as follows:
"MySpace is an ad-riddled wasteland that targets the impressionable and the ignorant. Your site not only (irresponsibly) allows, but promotes a narcissistic and sexualized world view in children and provides easy prey for sex offenders.
MySpace represents, to me, the [some of] worst and vilest parts of our culture."
Melodramatic? Hades yes. Arrogant and self-impressed? Very much so. Did it feel great? Affirmative in ways I can't articulate. (do i hate the "ask a question then answer it" bit. oh man...)
Many can and will say LJ isn't much different. But notice the ads embedded on one of the new fancy "plus" accounts that allow ads. Hit refresh a few times. How many single's services hocking their wares with photoshopped-to-the-hilt scantily clad "barely legal" looking girls with promiscuous glares do you see?
I could rant about it more, but i really don't care that much. I only care enough to send the email, tell you i sent the email, and just barely touch on the fact that I realize this is an easy subject for debate and that, despite my pride, I conceed that my perspective is very probably not complete.
Hope you had a good weekend!
ms. monk just informed me that "Jebus[sic] doesn't care about MySpace."
i would marry her a million times over again. *smile*
i went to a "so long to single-hood" get together friday. (because of the stigma, i feel "bachelor party" would be misleading.) there was merriment. this is a rowdy group of fellas, so rough-housing, foghorns, and guttural yawping all around. some great stories were set to memory, beer and pizza, the "boy will be boys" clause was invoked a time or two, and it was generally a great time.
in all the fun, i lost my phone.
i don't really do things like that. i can't hang on to a pen to save my life, but i've only lost my wallet like twice in said life. if it's important, i know exactly where it is at all times. if it's important and moving, i compulsively verify that it's okay. i've caught myself patting my right back pants pocket and left chest pocket (where my wallet and cell usually reside) over and over. i'm sure it looks really silly. but it calms me to know that these things are fine. (i wish i could just let go and let the possessions of this world be fleeting and fluid, having little or no affect on my actual frame of mind. but that's a whole nother entry.)
with the loss of my phone came the loss of my numbers. your numbers. so if i haven't called you and i said i was going to, this is why. if i had your number, please take a minute to call me with it again. sorry and thanks. my entire social and family life was tied to that phone. you needn't tell me the virtues of backing up your cell phone numbers with a plain old address book. to that gospel, i am converted and zealous.
there are a few other songs i have to sing to you; lies to sell. but as the night flees out past the horizon, almost out of view, purest cheese begins to ooze from my finger tips, through the keyboard, and out to the internets.
"Lay down my dear brothers,
lay down and take your rest.
Won't you lay your head,
upon your Savior's breast.
I love you, oh
but Jesus loves you the best.
And I bid you goodnight,
Theory: With scotch tape wrapped snugly around all four paws, a cat with an anxious disposition will actually levitate, ceasing to make contact with the floor, and may in fact dive and swoop around the room.
Goal: Cat flight.
Control: Thorough and conclusive observation of same cat w/o tape on her paws.
-Result: No flight.
Experiment #1: Affix tape to front right paw.
-Result: Feline adapts, affected paw ceases to make contact with floor.
Comments: Subject highly preoccupied by foreign material on paw; persistent licking and chewing at tape. Suggest visual deprivation (blind-folding) in future experiments in hopes of keeping subject focused. Subject will retain visual input for remainder of this series of tests.
Experiment #2: Affix second piece of tape to back left paw.
-Result: A mild amount of clumsiness at first, followed by enhanced balance on unaffected paws. Activity level of subject markedly decreases, accompanied with perplexed facial expressions from subject to researcher. (Several "Kitty Treats" are administered at this point to assure subject of the relatively benevolent intent of researcher.) Subject shakes hind paw following each impact with the ground; subject then distracted from experiment by researcher's convulsive laughter. Suggest taping researcher's mouth shut.
Experiment #3: Affix tape to the remaining unaffected paws.
-Result: No flight. Subject quickly notices marked decrease in pad-traction; compensates by moving slowly and refraining from jumping up. Subject seems intent on distancing head and body core as far from affected members as possible, resulting in a walk or gate the researcher refers to as "tipy-toe shuffle." Subject again distracted by researcher's laughter.
-Series of experiments is concluded with gentle removal of tape from subjects paws, accompanied with reassuring vocal tone and numerous "Kitty Treats" administered.
-Subject seems content and unaffected by experiments. Upon conclusion of said experiments, subject immediately wanders over to stare at the dishwasher.
Conclusion: Cat flight seems improbable, but researcher will doubtlessly resume tests in the somewhat near future.
EDIT: NO ANIMALS WERE IN ANY WAY HARMED DURING THIS EXCERSIZE IN THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD. (perhaps made to feel mildly uncomfortable, but due restitution has been and will continue to be paid.)