Milk

Funacious weekend

After having returned from my nice, and quite (amusing) weekend over at Jennifer's house, I must say, it's quite a relief to be home.

Not that being home sparks any semblence of anmisty from being over at her place. But. Considering that I got to spend the weekend around some of the more sane, or lack there of, haha bandmembers of the buding group, Downside, I can quite say I had one fuck of a event filled weekend. xD

I also got more parts of Jen's Envy costume made. After nearly BUTCHERING her original business socks she had gotten for his gloves and feet coverings, we finally, (and I mean FINALLY) found the perfect material to use for the stuff, and after spending like... Mega hours wandering the mall searching, we brought a pair of spandex hose, that amazingly when I cut them, worked wonderfuly well.

Moreso, when she put them on, conformed nicely to her feet and hands. XD Perfect for a skin-tight Envy suit. Mmmm Scantly clad Envy... <3~~

Aside that, and the randomness that happened while I was there, it was a rather good weekend. Better then sitting around here all damned weekend with nothing to do. lol

Now I just gotta finish the headwigs and dye Jen's Envy top and we're good to go for Necro-con. Now I just need my st00f.

Excited nontheless. I got my personal own Envy to chase, attack and molest me. >) Oh fun.
  • Current Music
    None. Talking on Skype (Shesta! HRT)
To sexy

Future Endevors

Some definite good news I bring. One that I am sure my lovely readers will indeed love to hear. Of course, I was kind of weary mentioning anything this soon in the game as I wanted to pose a surprise. And yet, the idea is just too delicious to honestly pass up.

Considering the mass amounts of controversy that our wonderful little, delusional troll, viclurver has decided to cause over the last few weeks, and from the inconcedential brain and eye damage he/she/it's fics have caused many of numerous comms's members, my friend and I have decided to take on a rather... Challenging task. MSTing this weirdo's badfics.

If course, I am not expecting to finish this without losing a few brain cells. Or some sanity. However, considering just how godawful the material is, my friend and I decided: What the hell? What's the cost of some brain bleaching to a rumble of rancurous laughter when people are delivered from the nightmare by a wonderful lampoon? And by right, we figured: Why not? What's two bored yaoi fans, expecially Edvy ones, got to do? Right? Right?

So. Expect to see a nice little riff fic coming your way. And VERY soon. Her and I have already started; and yes. The terror has already begun. =O But nonetheless, we want to deliver you with teh funneh. All considering. viclurver has incited enough mortification for us to last a life time.

There isn't a sue out there that can compete with his/her/IT's piece of crapfiction.

The finish copy will be posted to fma_spork as well as other proper comms who wish to have our parody, listed. Furthermore. le_squeaky and I will ne deriving our own MST community. So expect to see MUCH more work for your entertainment needs. :d
  • Current Music
    Nothing. Talking on Skype... Ehehehe
Sacrifices

Trust

How it's so easily betrayed, and hard to earn.

And for once in my life, I had honestly thought that I had something to believe in, just to be crushed by a weight of unfathomable proportion. Now I am at the point of not knowing that to believe.

After my last update regarding my situation with my finacee, I decided to send her parents another e-mail regarding the lapse in contact and why I've not heard anything regarding her case since I last spoke with her.

Then after having a good laugh round with a bunch of morons on the FAM forums, I decided to check my e-mail, only to see this...

Collapse )

And my entire world shatteres instantly upon reading it, moreso after this "I... told her that you never wanted to speak to her." keeps on instant replay in my mind. The more and more I dwell upon this fact that it's potentially this reason alone Jess has probably been absent, the more and more I break down at the simple fact that I may never see Jess again, or that she probably thinks I hate and despise her. How her brother could've conjuncted something so horrid, so despicable I won't ever know...

But my friends did warm me there was something fishy about the e-mails. My sis the most...

Who was right all along. And now I feel utterly stupid for now believing her. She knew it wasn't right from the getgo, and I chose not to believe her.

How utterly fucking wrong I was.

However, I did rely to him, Collapse ) so that things may ultimatly find some semblence of salvaging that I pray to GOD isn't beyond repair. If this honestly caused irrepuable damage...

I am still struggling with the initial shock of it all. Trying to convince myself it's not a dream. And yet, my body is still shaking from those words still on continous chant in my mind. I am so fucking frightened now I could virtually vomit.

Jealousy is indeed a dangerous and distructive emotion. One that can have chaotic consequences. And the damage it can cause...

The damage this has caused...

I just hope that the score is set right. Because if Jess honestly was convinced by what her brother said to her...

Especially after how I professed to her last we spoke my undying love for her...

I may never be able to live with the consequences.

I don't want to live without her.

Being alone. I don't want to be alone anymore.

Please God don't do this to me or let this happen. It's not fair just how much this facade has hurt everyone, including myself. It was awful what he's done. Now he has to fix the mess he's made or he may've ultimatly done more damage then he actually thought he was doing.

What he has done... I can potentially forgive... But forget.

I can never forget.

Some things are never erasable. This is one.

I've been trying to hard to be strong. Only to be tossed back down upon the ground after struggling, sweating and bleeding to've gotten this far. And to've delt with my depression with as bad as it's become.

He's in the end, hurt more then just her and I, he's hurt a lot of other people who've had to watch me wallow in misery and those that have missed Jess dearly since she's left Furcadia. This little trick he played caused a lot of pain to not just myself. But scores of others. And I pray he has enough heart to desire to correct his horrible mistake. It's not fair to make others suffer.

Or those he's supposed to care about, suffer.

He's violated her trust. A sacred thing between any two people. And now he has a lot of stuff to repair. Hopefully before there's nothing left to repair.

I just hope I can manage through all this. I've already been through enough as is.

Also it's time I tried and called her. Because I can't let this continue on.

If I don't do something, ultimatly, I am also hurting myself.

How anyone could be so cruel...

It makes me lose more and more faith in humanity every day.
  • Current Mood
    crushed crushed
Fuck you!

Drama

Something that I damn bloody well hate. The same kinda shit that causes nothing but weeabo wangsting bullshit annoyance that I swear given the chance, I'd friggin STAB. If there isn't one thing I hate, is drama. Whining and rambling on and on and on and ON about the same fucking shit on a twenty four seven basis.

All I ever hear when I get on anymore is bitch piss and moan about this that and the like in their RL fucking travesties. Well you know what? STOP BEING A GODDAMN MARTYR! STOP WHINING ALL THE TIME AND GOD FUCK STOP ACTING LIKE ALL I AM WORTH IS SOMEONE TO COMPLAIN TO! It's OLD. It's frivlous. I am TIRED of it. I don't log ON to listen to you rant on a daily basis. I don't complain about every fucking thing in my life constantly. Why the fuck should everyone else?

It's gotten PAST the point of sheer aggravation. If people don't STOP I swear I will just disappear. I've had about all I can take. Enough is ENOUGH people. e_e
  • Current Mood
    pissed off pissed off
Goal

Weekend fun!

FINALLY. I am getting out of the house and outta town for the weekend. So, if I manage to update between now and then, kinda expect an entry. If not, see everyone on Sunday! Have a fantastic weekend my friends!
  • Current Music
    Him & Her - I love you
Fuck you!

Argh

I swear. I hate theft. I hate scams. And ultimatly, I hate the people that commit to these acts. Not only does it piss me off, it irritates me to no goddamn end. I can't even browse the FAM forums amymore without seeing a new scam thread on a daily basis. It's just... ARGH ARGH ARGH. It makes me just wish to beat my head on a brickwall it's so aggravating. Every time I turn around someone else is either jipping someone or robbing someone. It just has me past the point of sick and tired of hearing about it.

The next fucking person to scam or ripp someone off is going to get my foot to the nuts/crotch. e.e;;; All people who do shit like this should all BURN. >
  • Current Music
    Slipknot - Everything Ends
Steel Wings

Friends only

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